Laughter - the best medicine

[Slime]

Makes a lot more sense now

Yeah, but it's still not very funny.
All my best one's are for me only as I'm having to rein things in quite a bit.
Understandably, I guess.

 

[Imurg]

I've got loads that I just can't post here......But.....


Saw a Golf Buggy in a disabled parking space today...




I wonder what his handicap is..........

 

[Slime]

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

A farmer went to see his GP to tell him his wife had lost interest in their sex life.
A few days later the Vet made his weekly call to the farm. He wandered over to the barn and was shocked to see the farmer wearing nothing but a leather thong rubbing himself against his tractor singing "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?".
The farmer, seeing him, ran up to him saying "I can explain! Please don't tell anyone!"
He told the Vet about his visit to the GP and swore him to secrecy.
The Vet asked "So what did the GP advise you?"
"Well," said the farmer, "he told me I needed to do something really sexy to attract her".

 

[Slime]

Dad asks his son what he learnt at school today, he says...
"Well Daddy, I learnt that Chinese people like Sony, Americans like JBL, Europeans like Pioneer and Russians like Bose"

The Dad replies....
"That's not true, son, they're just stereotypes"

 

[nickjdavis]

Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.

Show bosses think she will do really well as she has been living off a dead Beatle for the last thirty years.

 

[Pants]

I told my friend I’d failed my exam in Aboriginal music. She said, "Didja redo it?"

 

[Pants]

I was going to buy some rose-tinted spectacles.But while I was trying them on, all the other ones looked so nice.

 

[Imurg]

 

[jim8flog]

 

[Fade and Die]

View attachment 58906

Jim you literally posted this on Saturday

And I have scratches down the side of my car from a fortnight in North Cornwall that begs to differ!

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

Uk border control?

 

[jim8flog]

Jim you literally posted this on Saturday

And I have scratches down the side of my car from a fortnight in North Cornwall that begs to differ!

Probably it was following this woman today that did not have a clue about where on the road she should be that sparked my reminder about seeing this on FB.

Last Saturday was a long time ago in my life

Edit - where I live the roads are not exactly narrow but I find it mazing how many drivers seem to need to drive down the middle of the road. I put a lot of it down to poorly aimed parking mirrors - a lot of drivers seem to think they are for seeing the road behind them rather than how far out from the kerb/hedge they are.

 

[Pants]

A woman turned up at my office saying she had traveled all the way from Barcelona to fix my broken fountain pen.“I didn’t expect this,” I said.“Nobody expects the Spanish ink physician,” she replied.

 

[Pants]

With apologies to @AussieKB...

I heard someone playing Dancing Queen on a didgeridoo. I thought, that’s Abbariginal.

 

[Pin-seeker]

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

The sun tan lotion from Poundland is absolute rubbish, you have been warned!

 

[Imurg]