bobmac
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Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
YandaB
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Tony Johnstone commentating on the European Tour in Joberg just now: Bison de Chambeau, made me smile ?
Pathetic Shark
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Mudball
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rosecott
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Slime
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My wife left a note on the fridge, " This isn't working, goodbye ".
I opened it ............................... it's working fine.
I opened it ............................... it's working fine.
Slime
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A police officer knocked on my door yesterday.
"Does FG mean anything to you?" I said "No".
"TH?" "No".
"DT?" "No".
"Sorry officer but am I in trouble or anything?"
"No" he said, "I'm just making initial enquiries".
"Does FG mean anything to you?" I said "No".
"TH?" "No".
"DT?" "No".
"Sorry officer but am I in trouble or anything?"
"No" he said, "I'm just making initial enquiries".
Just had a call to say my best friend overdosed on antacids...
I can’t believe Gav is gone
I can’t believe Gav is gone
Leftie
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Leftie
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The Grim Reaper came for me last night but I managed to fight him off with a vacuum cleaner.
I was Dyson with Death!
I was Dyson with Death!
Leftie
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I took my first missus to a wife swapping party; it was great. I got a lawn mower.
Leftie
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I was at a Japanese restaurant a while ago and all the staff looked like that actor who played Poirot.
I think it was a Suchet bar.
I think it was a Suchet bar.
I miss that lawn mower and still ended up taking mrs d home
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Leftie
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An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
"Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked: "You asked your neighbour?"
The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
"Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked: "You asked your neighbour?"
The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."
Slime
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Why does that remind me of Peter Griffin?
Slime
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Slime
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I had a phone call last night, he sneezed and then hung up.
I hate cold callers.
I hate cold callers.
Slime
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