Laughter - the best medicine

[PhilTheFragger]

To further clarify my previous statement and taking board orientation out of the equation

If the bishop is really a knight in Bishop’s clothing

In his current position he does not check the Queen

However , assuming it is his go , if he moves 2 squares towards the Queen and 1 square left, he will then indeed be in a Check position and safe from being taken by the Queen

Apologies to @Foxholer for the layman’s terms used in this explanation ??

 

[Imurg]

What the hell have I just read.....

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Clearly not in the same class! Such ambiguity and incompleteness is not tolerable!
Knights are on B1 and G1 for White; B8 abd G8 for Black.Where A1 is White Rook on Left (Black square).
They also move 2 space Forward or Backward and 1 space Left or Right OR 1 space Forward/Backward and 2 spaces Left or Right.
Before the Horizontal/Number became universal, the key to setting a board up was...Right Rook pos is White square (both White and Black) then White Queen on White square, Black Queen on Black square. Most common 1st move (White) was Kings (Pawn) Gambit.. 'PK4' in old terms now 'e4'.

If you guys are playing 'pedant wars' there are too many capital letters in the above.

Just saying.......

 

[Foxholer]

To further clarify my previous statement and taking board orientation out of the equation

If the bishop is really a knight in Bishop’s clothing

In his current position he does not check the Queen

However , assuming it is his go , if he moves 2 squares towards the Queen and 1 square left, he will then indeed be in a Check position and safe from being taken by the Queen

Apologies to @Foxholer for the layman’s terms used in this explanation ??

No apology needed!

But to add to the list of your faults in the post I quoted...an ommission! The words 'need to'!
But I do like your post above!
Oh and a Queen does not get 'Checked'. That only happens to Kings! 'Threaten' perhaps, though unwise as likely to be sent to the Tower and defrocked!

 

[Foxholer]

If you guys are playing 'pedant wars' there are too many capital letters in the above.

Just saying.......

You missed my spelling error!

 

[Imurg]

 

[Mudball]

To further clarify my previous statement and taking board orientation out of the equation

If the bishop is really a knight in Bishop’s clothing

In his current position he does not check the Queen

However , assuming it is his go , if he moves 2 squares towards the Queen and 1 square left, he will then indeed be in a Check position and safe from being taken by the Queen

Apologies to @Foxholer for the layman’s terms used in this explanation ??

As the member of the diversity brigade... i find it offensive that there is very poor representation of non-Christians priests on a chess board.. So i recommend that the knight be and rook be replaced by other religious representatives. Or indeed the Bishop be replaced by a non-religious Pastafarian or Scientologist.

And while we are it, why is the Bishop assumed to be a 'male'. A non-binary option should be considered.

Credit where Credit is due.. i can see the board is fairly diverse as it has 50:50 split of white and black pieces

 

[Pathetic Shark]

What if half way through the game the King decides he wants to change gender?

 

[Fish]

 

[Slime]

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”

The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”

The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.”

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?”

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.

So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to no end.

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.​

But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

​

 

[Slime]

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[PhilTheFragger]

 

[rosecott]

 

[SocketRocket]

What a waste of time that was?
Got a job hunting crocodiles for a company that sells croc handbags and shoes.

Everyone I caught didn't wear shoes or carry a handbag ?

 

[Backache]

What a waste of time that was?
Got a job hunting crocodiles for a company that sells croc handbags and shoes.

Everyone I caught didn't wear shoes or carry a handbag ?

Surely you could have sold them some then if they didn't have them?

 

[PhilTheFragger]

What a waste of time that was?
Got a job hunting crocodiles for a company that sells croc handbags and shoes.

Everyone I caught didn't wear shoes or carry a handbag ?

Surely you could have sold them some then if they didn't have them?

Call yourself a salesman ??

 

[Leftie]

"The cat scratched my upper thigh when he saw that woman from Strictly."

"Claudia Winkleman?"

"No but it was close, man."

 

[SocketRocket]

Surely you could have sold them some then if they didn't have them?

Oh yes, didn't think of that! ?

 

[Dando]

I appreciate this might not be very pc but it made me chuckle.
Sorry if it offends anyone

 

[Leftie]

Burned my Hawaiian pizza. Should have put it on aloha setting