Laughter - the best medicine

[Voyager EMH]

I found that joke whelmed me perfectly.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

View attachment 55122

 

[venger]

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

Penguin takes his car to a garage and tells the mechanic its making a funny noise.
Mechanic say " Come back in an hour".
Penguin wanders off and spots an ice cream parlour and goes in and orders a double Tutti Frutti with cream.
An hour later he leaves covered in ice cream, walks in the garage and says "What do you reckon?"
The mechanic says "Well, it looks like you've just blown a seal."

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

I rang the Indesit helpline today and said my dishwasher's making a right racket.
They asked if I'd followed the Troubleshooting suggestions.
I said "No, but I've bought her flowers and chocolates and she's still banging on."

 

[Imurg]

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

I hate it when I talk to myself, then realise I wasnt listening and have to start again

 

[GreiginFife]

 

[Slime]

 

[venger]

 

[Slime]

 

[Pants]

Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen were sitting in a sauna only covered by a towel.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. ‘That was my pager,’ she said. ‘I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.’
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, ‘That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.’
The older woman felt very low-tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.
She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end.The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The older woman finally said… ‘Well, will you look at that…
I’m getting a fax!!!’

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen were sitting in a sauna only covered by a towel.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. ‘That was my pager,’ she said. ‘I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.’
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, ‘That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.’
The older woman felt very low-tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.
She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end.The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The older woman finally said… ‘Well, will you look at that…
I’m getting a fax!!!’

 

[Orikoru]

My wife and her friend are going on a three day trip. Can you guess which three days?



How's your luck?

 

[Pathetic Shark]

Tremendous parking by the police driver .....