Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
Slime
Tour Winner
rulefan
Tour Winner
A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him.
The first golfer said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the two-some. They were even after the first two holes.
The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"
The first fellow said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen, and while counting his $80.00, the second guy confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro got all flustered and apologetic offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."
The first golfer said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the two-some. They were even after the first two holes.
The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"
The first fellow said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen, and while counting his $80.00, the second guy confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro got all flustered and apologetic offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Orikoru
Tour Winner
I don't get this one??
AmandaJR
Money List Winner
I took it to mean he was born out of wedlock
Mind you there's plenty I don't get so could be wrong!!
Orikoru
Tour Winner
I wondered if it was that, but that was such a flat punchline that I thought I must be missing something.I took it to mean he was born out of wedlock
Mind you there's plenty I don't get so could be wrong!!
Fade and Die
Medal Winner
I took it to mean he was born out of wedlock
Mind you there's plenty I don't get so could be wrong!!
A gag from back in the days when being illegitimate was a “thing”
D
Deleted member 1147
Guest
I'll probably get banned for this, but he's calling him a word that starts with B, ends in d and has 5 x *'s in the middle
Bellend?
Ah, the innocence of youth
Orikoru
Tour Winner
Cheers. As I said to Amanda, I thought maybe it was that, but it was such a flat punchline that I thought there must be more to it.
Jimaroid
Journeyman Pro
Bastard isn’t a swear word. In fact, I am one.
CliveW
Tour Winner
It is also a term for a course file. https://www.toolbank.com/0/p/NICFB12 which reminds me of my grandfather who had an ironmonger shop and was teaching a new member of staff the differences between files, such as First Cut, Second Cut, Coarse Cut etc. One day a farmer came in and asked for a flat file, and the new assistant thought they would try and impress with their new found knowledge so asked the farmer if he wanted a flat Bastard, to which the farmer replied "Any fu###r will do"
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Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
PhilTheFragger
Provider of Entertainment for the Golfing Gods 🙄
jim8flog
Journeyman Pro
Bastard is not a swear word it has just been bastardised to make it one.
Slime
Tour Winner
