Laughter - the best medicine

[Piece]

There was a safety meeting at work today.

They asked me, "What steps would you take in the event of a fire?"

"Fooking big ones" was the wrong answer.

 

[venger]

 

[Deleted member 1740]

There was a safety meeting at work today.

They asked me, "What steps would you take in the event of a fire?"

"Fooking big ones" was the wrong answer.

This must be a standard question H&S bods ask as i used this response without the swearing about 10yrs ago!!

 

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[Dando]

 

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[rulefan]

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.

"Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.

Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one."
The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?"
Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And he makes an eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win.
Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of
your sex life?"
"Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.

As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am.
I am the devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."

"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."

 

[Dando]

 

[Pants]

Sorry @Dando but I'm not going to give you a "like". Just don't want to encourage you

 

[PhilTheFragger]

View attachment 49842

Just don’t try and read the cheese grater

 

[Dando]

Sorry @Dando but I'm not going to give you a "like". Just don't want to encourage you

I don’t need any encouragement

 

[jim8flog]

It made me smile at least

Phone call from an obvious scammer today

This is Her Majesty's............

 

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[Dando]

 

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[CliveW]

 

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