Laughter - the best medicine

[ColchesterFC]

I was once in a band called “The Radiators,” we were a warm up act.

Then I joined “The Duvets,” we mainly did covers.

After that, I was in an outfit called “Cat’s Eyes”, mostly middle of the road stuff.

Now I’m in a group called “Missing Cat” - you may have seen our posters.

 

[ColchesterFC]

I’ve taken all German contacts off my mobile phone. I’ve gone Hans free.

 

[ColchesterFC]

The man who makes the giant eclairs at our local Patisserie is retiring today.

Whoever replaces him has got some massive chouxs to fill.

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[sunshine]

Trying to teach my 4 yr old grandson a foreign language but not going well. Can’t even get him to say ‘thank you‘ in Spanish which is poor for four.

So near yet so far

 

[Fade and Die]

I’m going to work on being less condescending. (Condescending means to talk down to people)

 

[Pathetic Shark]

Did you know the leader of the Magnificent Seven was a Liverpool fan and abstained from ever buying after shave?

Yul never wore cologne.

 

[Rooter]

Who's the coolest man in the Hospital?

The Hip Surgeon.

I think the UltraSound Guy may argue with that, although if he is on leave that day, then the hip surgeon would make a good replacement.

 

[Dando]

 

[NearHull]

So near yet so far

De nada

 

[rulefan]

Trying to teach my 4 yr old grandson a foreign language but not going well. Can’t even get him to say ‘thank you‘ in Spanish which is poor for four.

gracias for that

 

[Slime]

Scientists say it's possible to live on Mars.



I know that's nonsense, I put on 5 stone and became diabetic.

 

[ColchesterFC]

 

[Slime]

 

[Norrin Radd]

the wife just found out i changed the bed to a trampoline ,she hit the roof

 

[rudebhoy]

 

[Norrin Radd]

i have decided that all my jokes from now on will be written in capitals
this one was written in London.

 

[Norrin Radd]

i had this great racing snail ,i took his shell off to save weight ,but now he is just sluggish.

 

[PhilTheFragger]

I have a confession

I have been on a Ukrainian dating site
















I now have a chick in Kiev