i bet she still asked if it made her bum look big
Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
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i bet she still asked if it made her bum look big
Pants
Challenge Tour Pro
What a stupid handbag ..........
jim8flog
Journeyman Pro
Mrs D has arrived home
Slime
Tour Winner
Slime
Tour Winner
Ryanair has recorded a loss of €815M. Presumably it was just €9.99 to begin with, then all the additional charges came in.
Blue in Munich
Crocked Professional Yeti Impersonator
Mudball
Assistant Pro
Slime
Tour Winner
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of coins for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten pounds and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked."Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
The man replied,"That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf!”
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten pounds and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked."Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
The man replied,"That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf!”
bobmac
Major Champion
Wasn't sure where to post this video.....
Deep Sleep Music - Ocean Waves, Fall Asleep Fast, Relaxing Music, Sleeping Music
The video is 3 hours 4 mins long
Deep Sleep Music - Ocean Waves, Fall Asleep Fast, Relaxing Music, Sleeping Music
The video is 3 hours 4 mins long
Doon frae Troon
Ryder Cup Winner
The worlds most recognisable Scot is 20 today.
Shrek.
Shrek.
jim8flog
Journeyman Pro
Are you feeling like this
Smiffy
Grand Slam Winner
Slime
Tour Winner
If too rude, please delete!
I went to a disco on Saturday.
They played 'The twist', I did the twist.
They played 'Jump', I jumped.
They played 'Come on Eileen'.
I got thrown out for that one.
I went to a disco on Saturday.
They played 'The twist', I did the twist.
They played 'Jump', I jumped.
They played 'Come on Eileen'.
I got thrown out for that one.
Slime
Tour Winner
A farmer buys himself a young cockerel named Rob.
As soon as he gets it home it has sex with all the 150 hens, the farmer is impressed.
At lunch the cock again has sex with all 150 hens.
The next day, it's having sex with aa the ducks and the geese too!
Sadly later in the day he finds Rob, the cockerel, lying on the ground half-dead with vultures circling overhead.
The farmer says, "You deserve it, you horny bastard!"
Rob the cockerel opens one eye, points up and says "Ssshhh. They're about to land!!"
As soon as he gets it home it has sex with all the 150 hens, the farmer is impressed.
At lunch the cock again has sex with all 150 hens.
The next day, it's having sex with aa the ducks and the geese too!
Sadly later in the day he finds Rob, the cockerel, lying on the ground half-dead with vultures circling overhead.
The farmer says, "You deserve it, you horny bastard!"
Rob the cockerel opens one eye, points up and says "Ssshhh. They're about to land!!"
Slime
Tour Winner
My autobiography went on sale today, but I didn't sell one single copy.
Story of my life.
Story of my life.
Slime
Tour Winner
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald.
That day, he called his children to a meeting.
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do," the man continued, "is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heir line!
That day, he called his children to a meeting.
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do," the man continued, "is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heir line!
