Laughter - the best medicine

[rulefan]

 

[Slime]

I gave away a flat battery today.......




Free of charge!

 

[rulefan]

 

[rulefan]

Sorry. A bit late with this

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Sorry. A bit late with this

View attachment 35000

Lunar and Chinese new year as well..........ooooooooh getting spooky.

 

[PhilTheFragger]

Saw this and thought that Italy were beating England,

Then I realised it was the kick off time

Doh ?

 

[srixon 1]

One for the ex military. They will understand.

London City airport was been closed all day yesterday following the discovery of a WW2 bomb.
I have been asked why a bomb in London would be defused by a Royal Navy Bomb Disposal Team rather than army?
For the benefit of my civilian friends, all 3 services have a Bomb Disposal capability.
Who deals with the device depends on where the bomb is found. The Royal Navy deal with anything below the high water mark, the Army deal with anything above the high water mark and the RAF deal with bath bombs and fizzy pop unless there is a danger of spiders when they call in a service with more seniority... such as the Boy Scouts.

 

[NearHull]

One for the ex military. They will understand.

London City airport was been closed all day yesterday following the discovery of a WW2 bomb.
I have been asked why a bomb in London would be defused by a Royal Navy Bomb Disposal Team rather than army?
For the benefit of my civilian friends, all 3 services have a Bomb Disposal capability.
Who deals with the device depends on where the bomb is found. The Royal Navy deal with anything below the high water mark, the Army deal with anything above the high water mark and the RAF deal with bath bombs and fizzy pop unless there is a danger of spiders when they call in a service with more seniority... such as the Boy Scouts.

Dig in, check in?

 

[Tashyboy]

Must of been took between lockdown

 

[bobmac]

The guys in the Navy check out the rivers, the Army guys check out the fields and those of us in the RAF check out the room service

 

[Imurg]

Forgotten to get a Valentine's card?
Help is at hand

 

[rulefan]

 

[SteveW86]

 

[Slime]

"Why have you come to see me then?" says the Speech Therapist to his latest patient.

"I have trouble saying my "T-h" and "F" sounds" replied the patient.​

"Well you can't say fairer than that then!"

​

 

[Slime]

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.



Poor bastard.

 

[Slime]

I heard a rather nice story about a man who drank a lot and his wife said "If you ever come home drunk again, I'm going to leave you".
He went out to a pub and drank a lot and was sick all over his shirt
He said to his friend "If I go home like this my wife will leave me".
His friend said "I tell you what, put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, go home and show it to her and tell her somebody threw-up over you and he gave you the money for the dry-cleaning bill.".

He goes home and his wife's angry at the state of him and tells him she is leaving, but he says
"No, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill".
His wife digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out some money, she said "Why have you got two twenty-pound notes in there?",



He said "Oh, the other is from the man who crapped in my pants!"

 

[Slime]

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?





A man will actually search for a golf ball.

 

[Slime]

A man went in to a zoo and they only had one animal .......... a dog.



It was a shih tzu.

 

[fundy]

View attachment 35001

Saw this and thought that Italy were beating England,

Then I realised it was the kick off time

Doh ?

that explains a fair bit

 

[Pathetic Shark]

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

That's nothing. A friend of mine called Will joined the army. Everyone kept firing at him.