Laughter - the best medicine

[AmandaJR]

Again off subject(sorry folks),real sorry to hear about you and the Fire &Rescue Service Amanda-especially as you had put so much time,work and effort in to getting there!
Your attitude was have been amazing in there!
On a lighter note...what about going lady pro(golfer,that is)
Jimbo

Thanks Jimbo. You're not the first to suggest that route as I tend to "coach" those I play with when I spot something (and they're keen to hear options) but can't be doing with working in a pro shop for peanuts for hours on end!

I have applied to be a volunteer mentor with the SSAFA so really, really hope that comes off as it's such a worthwhile charity. There are also voluntary roles in the Fire Service which they think I'd be a good fit for but currently everything on hold due to Covid.

 

[Imurg]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1359277343605280770

 

[clubchamp98]

My friend is really into open water swimming - never in a wetsuit! I'm not so well covered in insulation (that's as polite as I can put it) so not for me unless clad in protective suit! I did once look into swimming the channel but not enough body fat and wasn't going to get fat just to try it!

On that note - turns out I don't have enough body weight to extend the fire service's 13.5m ladder. Just too light to move it sufficiently and no obvious way around it - dangling off it like or fish and/or climbing it seemingly doesn't work!! Watch Commanders tried to get the rules bent a little as I was excelling at everything else and they said they were impressed with my efforts and surpassed all their expectations and performances of much younger and bigger fellas...but rules is rules and, for now anyhow, I'm out of training to be an on-call firefighter. Said ladder is being phased out and seldom used ("5 times in 20 years active service") which is a little frustrating but it is what it is. I've come to terms with the disappointment and think it's the end of the dream for me but something else will turn up I'm sure

That’s a pretty big ladder .
I would have thought H&S would have banned them by now for manual handling.
Bending the rules just causes problems down the line so it’s understandable.
Very sorry to hear this .

 

[AmandaJR]

That’s a pretty big ladder .
I would have thought H&S would have banned them by now for manual handling.
Bending the rules just causes problems down the line so it’s understandable.
Very sorry to hear this .

Agreed and to be honest the dangers of it were rammed down our throats so we were all very nervous when we started to handle it. On one occasion a numpty took his foot off the jack beam and somehow Reggie and I managed to slam the head into the drill tower before it became really serious! I think they use a turntable type ladder from the roof off the pump most times they need to get that high. It also highlights the point of entry tests aren't great as the one I failed twice was meant to replicate lifting the 13.5m onto the appliance but that was a breeze. The ladder hoist test was a breeze from day 1 yet in reality not even close to hoisting the real thing. Watch Commander is hoping my experience will add weight to his battle to have them altered to reflect more that actual physical task.

I'm still pretty gutted but that's more because it was a goal for more than a year and kept me focussed on something I really wanted to do. Right now I'm just floundering a bit without a purpose and lockdown not the best time to find a new one.

 

[clubchamp98]

Alice Goodridge using a sledgehammer to break up the ice at Loch Insh in the Scottish Highlands before her morning swim. Photo by Euan Cherry, February 2019.

Why is she wearing a woolly hat?

 

[clubchamp98]

Agreed and to be honest the dangers of it were rammed down our throats so we were all very nervous when we started to handle it. On one occasion a numpty took his foot off the jack beam and somehow Reggie and I managed to slam the head into the drill tower before it became really serious! I think they use a turntable type ladder from the roof off the pump most times they need to get that high. It also highlights the point of entry tests aren't great as the one I failed twice was meant to replicate lifting the 13.5m onto the appliance but that was a breeze. The ladder hoist test was a breeze from day 1 yet in reality not even close to hoisting the real thing. Watch Commander is hoping my experience will add weight to his battle to have them altered to reflect more that actual physical task.

I'm still pretty gutted but that's more because it was a goal for more than a year and kept me focussed on something I really wanted to do. Right now I'm just floundering a bit without a purpose and lockdown not the best time to find a new one.

That just sounds like poor planning !
Why let someone get so far down the line and then find they can’t do something out of their control because of a physical thing.
That’s very poor imo.
It’s expensive training and very disappointing for the firefighter.
Hope you sort yourself something.
Motivated people aren’t unemployed for long so think you will be ok.
Good luck.

 

[Mudball]

Why is she wearing a woolly hat?

Same reason as i wear coloured socks to golf.... gets the old guard all wound up

 

[AmandaJR]

That just sounds like poor planning !
Why let someone get so far down the line and then find they can’t do something out of their control because of a physical thing.
That’s very poor imo.
It’s expensive training and very disappointing for the firefighter.
Hope you sort yourself something.
Motivated people aren’t unemployed for long so think you will be ok.
Good luck.

Agreed and the instructors feel the same way as there was nothing they could do to solve the problem short of putting lead weights in my boots. I did feel I'd wasted their time too but they were vociferous in their denial of that and actually felt I'd helped the other recruits as I worked so hard despite my physical disadvantage so they realised they had to suck it up and stop whining! They did also say the squad lost their matriarch - which I think I'll take as a compliment!

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

My mate went to see a psychic who told him he'd be coming into money and last night he had sex a woman called Penny.





How spooky is that?

 

[rulefan]

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will spend with with that guy the whole night and do for him whatever he wants." The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup and says "That's a Gimme."

 

[drdel]

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will spend with with that guy the whole night and do for him whatever he wants." The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup and says "That's a Gimme."

Flag pole in or out?

 

[Slime]

I've put all my dogging gear up for sale on e Bay.





I haven't had any bids yet ........................................................... but there's 14 people watching!

 

[ColchesterFC]

Just made myself a set of binoculars out of a couple of old fish finger boxes. They're brilliant. I get a Birdseye view of everything.

 

[Slime]

Yesterday I had to put air in my tyres.
It cost £1 to use the machine and I can clearly remember when it was 10p just a short while back.




That's inflation for ya!

 

[ColchesterFC]

I went to the supermarket today and met Arnold Schwarzenegger. I said, "I bet I can guess your favourite Christian holiday". He said, "It has to be Easter baby".

 

[Mudball]

Why Brexit is good for Engalnd.... (delete if deemed political)

 

[Dando]

I’ve just got my first role in a porn movie.
I play the husband leaving for work just as the plumber arrives