How much help do you/should you give an opponent from another club?

I understand your problem, but here's how I believe The Rules apply to your particular queries.

On one hole I pushed my drive into the trees, I asked her whether it would be easy to find and should I play a provisional, she said it was up to me, I asked if she would play one and she said she wasnt allowed to tell me. I played a prov ball, but found my first.
Strikes me, that is asking for advice - so loss of hole.

On another, I asked her if a tree would come into play on the second shot, she said it depended where my ball was. I played my teeshot wide right and then she said thats the best place to be. Why couldnt she say its better to go right like I would have done?

Most definitely advice - so loss of hole. Though, given that she replied with advice, ....

Remember, you can generally ask questions of facts about the course - as in how far is a bunker (but not 'what club did you hit' - though you can 'what did you hit off the tee' when you are walking down the fairway).

Best way is to do pedantically what your Captain said - if they ask a question about something factual, then reply, but don't ask/offer anything that could be construed as advice. And anything associated with 'Would you...' is most definitely a request for advice.

And the most common rule breech is actually the advice - 'Take your time'! Better to say it another way, eg. 'There's no time constraint'.
 
Am I expecting too much or are our team being too open?

You're expecting too much. It sounds like your opponent was well versed in the rules and an experienced match player and she was giving the minimum information and trying to avoid giving advice.
I have not played many team matches against other clubs but I would not expect an opponent in a match to give me any tips or answer questions in any way that would give me a benefit. If you are playing at home that's home advantage. That's why it's harder to win away.
 
i have and will be doing again in the future( new club) played in inter club comps and i have never asked or given any advice as to where to hit the ball,i use my course planner or skycaddie,its the same as telling them the break on the green before they hit the ball surly.
 
Best deal in facts ie what's over the hill? How thick are the trees? What's the line for the middle of fairway etc etc then YOU make the decisions.
 
Its quite a learning curve, I never knew that asking the kind of questions I was asking was against the rules.

I mean, asking whether it was worth playing a provisional ball was purely a time saving thing, surely she could have said, there is long rough out there, couldnt she?
Similarly in the absence of the club not having course planners,what was wrong with asking about the position of a big tree that i could see around the corner of a dog leg?
 
Depends on the match.
For our ordinary interclub friendlies, i would always ask "have you played here before?" Then ask do they want to be informed of things that bunkers etc that they might not be able to see. I Want them to enjoy the game and the course so will most prob give more info than rules might allow, like "Trouble on right, drive left"
If they ask about the green, I'll tell them there is a hidden bunker at 7 0clock etc.

If it's the County trophy, then no, I'll answer their questions about "is there a bunker over there?" but not "is it in range?" For such matches we always do a practice round, as do other teams coiming to us.

Things like Skycaddies have made this easier, but we are in the embarrassing situation of not having a course planner for our course:o
 
(but not 'what club did you hit' - though you can 'what did you hit off the tee' when you are walking down the fairway)

Here's a pickler for you...

I play a nine hole course so we'll be going back to that tee again next time round. Does that mean that question can't be asked as we're walking down the fairway the first time we play the hole because it could be advice for the second time around or do the rules classify it was a completely separate hole for the purposes of the rules?
 
Being a sportsman I always said to a first time player of my course that if he wanted any advice about the course just ask.

I played a scratch league match for the first time at Girton.
At one hole the opponent seemed to hit a shot deliberately left of the green, strange I thought.
I hit the perfect shot onto the green. On reaching the green we found the front part totally flooded due to a burst water pipe. Not only that, the water was so dirty we could not find my ball. Opponents said that there was no definate proof that the ball went into the water.
Very quiet round followed. We lost on the last and refused to sit with then over dinner
 
I'm always pretty friendly in matches. At home, I ask if my opponent has played the course before and tell them just to ask if they have any questions about layout.

Regardless, on one hole there's a burn by the green which you may not be aware of when playing your approach so I always tell "away" players about it on the tee.

I have a garmin watch and there have been times where an opponent has asked the yardage and, while I don't offer that info, I'm happy to give it when asked..... although only if I was nearby - I wouldn't cross a fairway to do so.

Regarding your "should I hit a provisional" question, I'd always answer that and if you hit your ball into an area it might get lost I'd probably say so and suggest a provisional even if you didn't ask.
 
I'll ask if my opponent(s) before we start if they'd like me to point things out they may not be aware of before we start. Some might already know the course and some people just prefer not to be told about all the problems.

I think it's only right that your opponent knows about the shape of holes and problems they can't see. I'd even go as far as telling them whether the green slopes badly front to back or anything else out of the ordinary if it's not obvious from the approach position.

Advice or opinion about how to play a hole (in a match at least) is a no-no imo.
 
When I first used to play national internet matchplay pairs comps, I even offered one team the use of my course planner!!!!

Now I will ask if they want to be informed of OOB,ditches,laterals etc, but try not to go over the top. I also used to tell them about 2 fairly hidden sandtraps on our first, but as stated here you shouldn't go over the top on helping them too much and giving away the home advantage.

Normally you will get a feel for your opponents within a few holes, but as we all know things can change down the home strait. Suddenly gimmes not being given etc.

I always try to play in a sporting manner, but over time you probably become more cynical, especially after falling foul of others mind games, strange calls and downright cheating.

Have you ever noticed how matches can be very chatty for 9 holes, then holes 10-14 suddenly become quieter???
 
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