How is your relationship with golf?

[5OTT]

After playing golf for nearly 30 years I am really starting to question my relationship with the game, I feel I have lost the love for the game and just dont get the enjoyment I once had. I think this is down to my handicap increasing and just not having the consistency to play to a level that I enjoy. I feel mentally I put too much weight on the handicap and it is killing my love of the game.

Currently have a HCP of 14 but have 5 of my best 8 scores due to go in the next 7 rounds, I have two of my sent ever scores in there as well. It is at that point now where I am avoiding playing comps to try retaining my HCP. The reality is if I play to what I know i can i should be of maybe 10, however i am currently struggling to beat 90.

 

[The Fader]

Sounds like you have a problem with your relationship with your handicap rather than golf.

Golf is so much more than a handicap number on the corner of your card.

Leisure
Pleasure
Camaraderie
The "craic"
Being outdoors
And many more different things to different people

Simple question - ignoring your handicap - do you still enjoy actually playing golf?

Yes - crack on and let your handicap fall where it falls
No - put the clubs away until you miss playing

 

[steadyon]

It’s a good walk. I love being out in the fresh air. I love the technical aspects of the game and the balance of trying to make technical improvements in the various parts of the game. I know I’ll never be as good as I’d like to be. Ultimately though I never really worry about the score or the handicap and just look at each round as a learning opportunity on the journey we call golf!

 

[KenL]

I'm playing poorly at the moment.
But, I have no thoughts of chucking it.

 

[Crow]

Have a think about playing vintage golf.

It opens up a whole new (or should that be old?) world of challenges.

• Finding the clubs in the first place
• Getting to know them
• Realising that all the crap you've heard about blades being impossible to hit is nonsense and that you can hit a 190cc wooden driver
• The enjoyment of putting a score together without loads of technology
• Learning the history of golf clubs and the game in general
• Actually hitting one out the screws
• And if you play rubbish you can just blame your clubs

 

[Orikoru]

When I play well I can't wait to get out and play again. When I play rubbish I'm desperate to get back out again and put it right. So I guess I'm still addicted to it.

I had a spell early this year where I was absolutely shocking and couldn't break 90 anymore, on one round I even just fully sat down on the fairway, exasperated, just no clue what I was doing. When that happens you think that's you done, past your peak and never to return. But it usually comes back eventually, and thankfully my game has.

That poor period actually really helped me let go of my attachment to handicap, which is what you need to do. I'm not a huge fan of WHS for reasons I won't go into (since that usually launches a thread off at a tangent!). Through the winter I always tend not to put any cards in because I didn't want the conditions to force my index up. But it backfired because suddenly I was playing horrible golf, and not getting any shots back because none of my green rounds were being pushed out, so it was just demoralising scraping 25 points each week.

So from June I started putting every round in for my handicap record. Not something I ever thought I would do, but I realised that in WHS you're kind of shooting yourself in the foot and becoming a prisoner to it if you don't. It's been very freeing, as I'm now just focused on making what I think is a good score for the day - if it's windy or I don't have my best stuff then that might be 6 over handicap - and not being aggravated again because I didn't get the score that gets me a cut or whatever.


I've waffled a bit but the 'too long; didn't read' version is: Stop caring about your index because WHS is a farce anyway, and just focus on enjoying the game of golf.

 

[Imurg]

 

[Voyager EMH]

I started very young and bashing that little ball around is just something I do like breathing and eating. Can't imagine not doing it or not wanting to do it.

I keep a close watch on my handicap, but I've come to realise that movements up and down have as much to do with what I was doing 20 rounds ago as what I do today.
That aspect does not deserve too much attention. I know what is happening, but I don't dwell on it too much.
With regards to handicap and its movements, the rules of handicapping state that a player is expected to, "Attempt to make the best score possible at each hole."
Seems sensible to me to abide by that.
I try.
God knows I try.

 

[Slab]

@5OTT
Like you I’m also off 14 with 2 of my best ever scores currently in last 20 and like most I want my Index as low as I can get it

When I have bad score/s from the medal tees, then whenever I can I’ll play some rounds from one tee box forward.
Course length drops from 6,500 to just over 6,000yrds, course is more playable, I can reach more GIR, its more fun, I score better, I get more enjoyment/return from my green fee and if I play enough rounds from those tees my Index drops again

From the above you can tell my issue is length, yours may be similar or something else entirely. Figure out what part of the game means you shoot in 90's instead of low 80’s and make the changes so you start to enjoy your golf again
I don’t worry about comps (I know I’ll score poorly) but that’s not the majority of my golf anymore so I can live with the crap comp scoring and just enjoy the social aspect etc knowing a round or two from one tee forward will 'erase' any poor comp score (both mentally and on h/cap record)

(there's a 3 shot course handicap diff in the adjacent tee boxes when in reality its more like 10+ for me, so move a tee, play off CH of 11 and actually enjoy playing)

 

[HPIMG]

This is the first time I’ve thought should I just try another hobby. This year is the first time since I took up golf I’ve hit a wall. Driver just not working and starting to creep into other clubs 3 wood/hybrid and the weather this year lol that would be enough to put anyone off golf.
I went and bought tennis racket and played it 3 times just because it can be played in doors but I didn’t really enjoy tennis that much.
Last week had a brilliant golf lesson and although drivers not 100% fixed I’m starting to now hit bombs and it’s definitely on the right track and I have a real buzz about golf again after my slump.
Hopefully I can hit a bit of form in next few weeks and still have time to get HC down some more before end of season.

 

[Orikoru]

I started very young and bashing that little ball around is just something I do like breathing and eating. Can't imagine not doing it or not wanting to do it.

I keep a close watch on my handicap, but I've come to realise that movements up and down have as much to do with what I was doing 20 rounds ago as what I do today.
That aspect does not deserve too much attention. I know what is happening, but I don't dwell on it too much.
With regards to handicap and its movements, the rules of handicapping state that a player is expected to, "Attempt to make the best score possible at each hole."
Seems sensible to me to abide by that.
I try.
God knows I try.

In a nutshell, that's the same issue I had. It's meant to be current form, but my handicap was going upwards because my form from six months ago wasn't as good as my form from 12 months ago. That's when I finally realised why you need to be putting all or most of your rounds in for it. Handicap can be whatever it wants to be now, I'm over it.

 

[IanM]

It's supposed to be fun, unless you want to make it your job.

Keep it fun.

 

[Robster59]

I refer you to my signature.

 

[jim8flog]

I am at that stage now - 4 months since I last played due to illness and injury but I have realised I am not actually missing the golf. The assorted injuries over the past couple of years has resulted in in a serious downturn in how well I play. It is hard to accept that when you once rarely shot above to 80 to finding yourself struggling to break 90.

However what I really miss is is all the companionship that golf brings.

 

[JayB]

Only been playing 6 years, already had a 12 month and 18 month break in that time and my current membership looks to be costing me around £220 per round at the moment.

Honestly, I wish I never started.

 

[timd77]

I can empathise with the OP, because the whs system is so reactive you can easily become obsessed with your score. In the old days you’d buffer after a bad round or if you were on a bad run it would take a while for your handicap to go up. I do prefer whs because it’s a truer reflection of your current form, but if your current form isn’t very good it can be frustrating logging into the eg app on a Monday morning and seeing you’ve gone up! I think the worst thing is looking at your last 20 scores, seeing you’ve got a good score dropping off next, and going into your next round thinking ‘right, this needs to be a personal best today’, it’s just never going to happen under those conditions.

As others have said, try to ignore it and enjoy the game. Avoid comps if you have to. Saying that, I’ll sometimes take a couple of weeks off if I’m playing badly, come back refreshed and raring to go.

 

[Orikoru]

Just another side suggestion. When I'm not in great form I really like playing a bit of match play against a pal. When it's match play you're far less bothered about your overall score, it's just about beating your mate on each hole. If you chuck in a triple bogey it's only one hole lost, you can just go and win the next one. A few times I've come away shooting 90 but quite happy because my mate did similar and I've beaten him by 1 or 2 in the match. Even if I lose it's alright as long as I gave it a good go and it was a decent match. (Disclaimer: may not work if you get absolutely thumped of course.)

 

[RichA]

After playing golf for nearly 30 years I am really starting to question my relationship with the game, I feel I have lost the love for the game and just dont get the enjoyment I once had. I think this is down to my handicap increasing and just not having the consistency to play to a level that I enjoy. I feel mentally I put too much weight on the handicap and it is killing my love of the game.

Currently have a HCP of 14 but have 5 of my best 8 scores due to go in the next 7 rounds, I have two of my sent ever scores in there as well. It is at that point now where I am avoiding playing comps to try retaining my HCP. The reality is if I play to what I know i can i should be of maybe 10, however i am currently struggling to beat 90.

I would suggest not worrying about your handicap and just enjoy playing golf for a bit.
When my pals and I are in a funk with golf we play scrambles. Lost balls don't matter so you can just play hero shots and get the buzz without failures going on your permanent record as punishment.
Your handicap is just a number to allow a level(ish) playing field for sporting bets. It doesn't define you, unless you let it.
WHS is nothing more than a spreadsheet with an algorithm that spits that variable number out.
I'm also mid-handicap. We can play well, hole birdie putts and hit the occasional par 5 green in 2 but have rounds wrecked by the inevitable double and triples. But if you play scrambles you and your similarly skilled mates have a chance of walking off the course having got close to gross par. It's great for confidence.

 

[chrisd]

I've struggled over the last couple of years due to ill health, and finding that my handicap is rising due to better scores of at least a year before, coming out, and being replaced with higher scores. I play pretty well in matchplay where my partner and I have only lost 2 matches in our vets league team in the last 2 years.

Most of my winter golf is friendly matchplay, or winter matchplay comps, so I'm not putting in supplementary cards and I'm now hovering round 17 handicap index whereas I'd like to be back to around 12.

At 71 I'm still trying hard to win main club comps rather than play vets golf.

 

[clubchamp98]

I think WHS dosnt suit you.
A lot of players don’t like it.
If you have a good score dropping off it’s like finding out someone has shot 62 just before you tee off.
You are presented with a target I don’t like that.

If you have a bad score dropping off and not playing well it lacks an incentive that the old buffer used to give us as it dosnt really matter.

I prefered the old system but many like WHS.
Unless you put in multiple cards every week it’s not great imo, as something 20 comps ago can be 1/2 years apart hardly showing recent form.!

Avoid comp golf for a bit.
But it’s rare that we get better as we age.