Christmas cracker jokes

[freddielong]

Everyone pulls at least one over the festive period. Here is your chance to pass on the laughs /groans onto your fella forummers.

I'll start you off

Why was the scarecrow promoted?

 

[freddielong]

Because he was outstanding in his field.

(I know it not Christmasy but it was in a cracker)

 

[JohnnyDee]

Did you hear about the philandering acrobat?

He got tumbled by his wife.

 

[Andy]

Never trust an atom.

They make up everything

 

[Andy]

Whats worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.....

 

[Smiffy]

Why has an elephant got four feet????

 

[Tiger man]

Why has an elephant got four feet????

Because it has four legs?

 

[Smiffy]

Because it has four legs?

Because he'd look funny with just 6 inches

 

[Tashyboy]

What's an Hospice.







about a gallon. 😳

 

[GreiginFife]

Did you hear about the magic Tractor?

It turned in to a field...

 

[Deleted member 1147]

I hate Russian Dolls...


... they're so full of themselves

 

[Rooter]

How do you keep cool at a football match?


Stand next to a fan...

 

[Three]

How did the blonde get killed drinking some milk?


The cow sat on her

 

[Doon frae Troon]

My primary school kids loved this one at today's panto.

What bee can you get milk out of ?




















A Boo Bee

 

[Sponge1980]

Did you hear about the magic Tractor?

It turned in to a field...

Apparently there is a film about the magic tractor, I've not seen it I've only seen the trailer.

 

[Tashyboy]

Apparently there is a film about the magic tractor, I've not seen it I've only seen the trailer.

Boom boom😁

 

[virtuocity]

No mention of these classics?:

What goes 'putt,putt,putt,putt,putt,putt'?
A bad golfer.

Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?
In case they get a hole in one.

 

[Jimaroid]

I got an amazing cracker fact at the work Christmas do.

 

[richart]

No mention of these classics?:

What goes 'putt,putt,putt,putt,putt'?

Chrisd

Fixed for you.:thup:

 

[Deleted member 15344]

Fixed for you.:thup:

:rofl: