When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer

[spongebob59]

I've just finished my first cycle, I was given more things to combat side affects than drug and by and large didn't have to resort to using them but realise thag further down the line that may change.

Depending on what treatment you get there are always options to try and minimise the side effects.

I came to the realisation quickly that I had no other option if i wanted to minimise the chance of it coming back after my surgery, although I still had to make that decision.

 

[Hacker Khan]

Went to see my mum yesterday. She talked very frankly and openly about it all. She seemed very normal.

My wife then had an opportunity to speak to her alone. My mum told her that she hadn't cried about it yet, so thinks she mustn't be normal! She's also beating herself up about what's caused it. She deliberately hasn't been Googling, but said she has heard of some study linking underwired bras with increased risk of breast cancer. And despite the fact that my mum eats very healthily, takes regular exercise, isn't overweight and doesn't drink to excess she's still wondering whether she hasn't lived a healthy enough life up to now. Obviously you can tell someone that these worries are all unfounded, but it doesn't stop her going over them in her mind.

One thing that she is very scared of is the thought of chemo. If the cancer hasn't spread she shouldn't need it, but if it has then it may be required. She's always taken a lot of care over her appearance. Losing her hair would be the hardest thing for her.

When I left, I gave her a big hug and told her I loved her. I never really say it out loud to her, but I need to say it a lot more from now on.

Thanks again to everyone who's given their advice and comments.

My Mrs was/is a relatively fit veggie who has never smoked with no history of it in her family and still got cancer. Lots of crackpot theories out there about what causes cancer, tell her to speak to cancer specialists and not to beat herself up over the why. Sometimes it is just pure bad luck.

 

[Norrin Radd]

WOW!!!! The replies on here are just fantastic,what an absolutely wonderful bunch of people you all are. As for the OP I hope that it all turns out for the best and she makes a full recovery

 

[Don Barzini]

WOW!!!! The replies on here are just fantastic,what an absolutely wonderful bunch of people you all are.

Completely agree with this. I'm overwhelmed by the replies, thanks all.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Fifteen years ago today my dad lost his cancer fight. Miss him still, especially his dry wit and our trips to the pub on a Sunday lunchtime

 

[williamalex1]

My wife is going for a biopsy on Tuesday, nothing life threatening, but they reckon she has a cancerous growth on her lower eyelid, most likely needing surgery and skin grafts.
She takes really good care of herself, with exercise, diet and skin care products and treatments, and looks a lot younger than her age.
So fingers crossed things work out . worrying times

 

[srixon 1]

Hope everything goes OK for your mum. Talk to her about it in a frank manner, from my experience it is better than not talking about it, don't let it be the elephant in the room. It's nobody's fault, it just happens.