The things kids come out with.......

[DelB]

Have just been downstairs to make lunch for my three and a half year old daughter, before she goes off to nursery. When I told her we didn't have any salami left in the fridge for her to have a salami sandwich, she replied, in an American accent, 'Are you kidding me, man?' Cracks me up, so she does. She's definitely been here before!

Anyone else have any funny/embarrassing child-related incidents to tell?

 

[SS2]

A few years ago my 5 year old daughter announced that "Tesco Erect" were at the door to deliver the shopping.

 

[gripitripit]

My 3 year old lad is always coming out with stuff..
A few days ago I quizzed him if he kept switching off the "Glade Plug In" that is in the hall...He ran to get a torch and shined it on it and said "Can you see my fingerprints Dad???" I replied no to which he responded "So it was not me" and walked off..!!!

Yesterday a courier came to the door. He has a turban beard and big ear rings....Little lad pipes up and says "Dad why is there a pirate at the door"....!!!!

 

[Crawfy]

My daughter put herself on the naughty step the other morning.

When I asked her why she replied " I dont want to talk about it dad"

She's not even 3 yet !!

 

[Smiffy]

Some years ago I was put on Statins to help with my cholesterol level. Prior to this, my Doctor had put me on a low fat diet.
One day, Sam was cooking the evening meal....I was having rice whereas the twins were having chips.
They both walked out into the kitchen and Nicholas asked Sam why I wasn't having the same as them for dinner.
Quick as a flash Mathew said "Dad can't have chips anymore because.........he'll get chip ache"


And many years ago my eldest Son Harry (he's now 22) was sitting drawing a "tattoo" on his arm with a biro pen. I could see he was trying to draw an anchor.
I asked him what it was, and he couldn't remember the name for it so said "It's a sailors dropper".
:rofl:

 

[Toad]

Best one from my son was when he was around 4, we had friends round for a meal and a few drinks. We were all sat in the dining room when he walks in starkers and says " Dad did you know it gets hard when you touch it" pointing at his genitals.
i'm still getting stick from my mates over that one.

 

[Shaunmg]

This was many years ago; my best friend’s wife had a friend who lost an eye at an early age. She would often visit my friends wife for a chat and stay for hours. My mate was getting a little fed up with this ritual and said to his wife, I suppose the one eyed witch will be calling again tonight.

Forgotten about, and some hours later the door bell rang, his four year old son ran to the door and opened it. Then shouted “ daddy it’s the one eyed witch”

 

[Sponge1980]

When my little sister was younger she and one of our next door neighbour's kids used to play the fiddle. One day my mum phoned our neighbour to say she wouldn't be able to drive them to their practice. The neighbours young son answered the phone and my mum asked if she sould speak to his mum. He replied "No, sorry, she's upstairs wrestling with Dad."

 

[JustOne]

I have registered domains in both my kids names to put blogs up and 'share' the funny things, photos and general stuff about their lives.... did i ever set up the blogs?..... did i hell, too busy playing golf!!!!!

 

[Captainron]

My son stood in car phone warehouse and pointed at a seikh gentleman and asked 'did he hurt his head dad?'. i had to wait another week before I went in to get my new phone. He has also been to M&S and shouted 'boobies' whilst pointing to the bra's in the lingerie section. Not bad for a 4 year old.

 

[Mattyboy]

HID asked my boy where I was. 'Dont worry mummy, hes looking at females on the internet!' I was actully looking at Emails - nearly mate.
Also when I was geting busted by customs at Gatwick.'Daddy, you have forgotten to tell them abou the pack of cigars that you said they would never find'.

Dont you love them?

 

[HawkeyeMS]

A couple of days after Steve Jobs died my mates' 6 year old's iPod stopped working. My mate told him that he would have a look at it but if he couldn't fix it, they would take it to the apple shop to get fixed. His boy looked at him quizically and said "how is the apple shop gonna fix it, the apple man is dead, we'll have to buy a new one"

 

[HotDogAssassin]

My four year old daughter has previously had a few letters that she struggled to pronounce correctly, one of which was the letter J. So often when my wife (a keen runner) was dressed in her running gear getting ready to go out, my daughter often asked her if she's going dogging. Never failed to make me laugh.

Another one was the letter combination TR, which she pronounced F. This particular one was hilarious when she shouted out "Daddy, I like your TRuck" about my Land Rover. "It's a big TRuck".

 

[Whereditgo]

Many years ago, before tattoo's became the norm, I took my eldest daughter swimming, she was about 2 1/2 at the time. Mucking about in the kids pool she spots a guy walking into the pool area from the changing rooms who was covered from head to toe in tattoo's.

At the top of her voice, and i'm sure you know how youngsters voices seem to resonate around pool halls, she yells "aaawwwwwww! That man's been drawing on himself!"

 

[JustOne]

My daughter (6) is playing with a set of dominoes right now, I asked her if she knew how to play and she replied..

"yes,..... you stand them up then knock them over again"

 

[Golfmmad]

Many years ago I was queuing up in MFI with my 3year old daughter. Remember the ones where you had to queue in a separate room to pick up your purchases?

Tracey used to carry her dolly around with her all the time, it was called, "Big baby".

As we were standing in the queue with about a dozen people behind us, Tracey turned to me and said, "Daddy, will you hold my big baby while i do something to my knickers".

Ah bless!

 

[mouth]

I was looking after my nephew once and after a walk near the river and a downpour I decided to bath him when we got home since he was staying and bed time was approaching. After a couple of minutes he stood up, hand on his boy parts, stretched it and said "Look, just like Pinnochio". What the hell do you say to that?

 

[papyt]

i remember twenty years ago taking my 4 year old son to the cemetery to place a holly wreath on my grans grave and after explaining this was the place you go when you die he just looked up and asked " is this heaven dad?" i had not the heart to say no.

 

[Snelly]

My five year old daughter climbed out of my car this week and banged the bone on the side of her ankle. "Ouch, Daddy, I have hurt my, my, my" she shouted clearly struggling to remember what her ankle was called, before having a flash of inspiration and telling me "Daddy, I have hurt my leg wrist!"

She's a clever kid!

 

[Evesdad]

My friends lad came out with a cracker, upon seeing a lady in a burka he loadly pronounced "look daddy a ninja" still brings a smile to my face!!