the most common (publishable) expressions in golf

[viscount17]

as the title. not the Sally Gunnell's etc, which are rarely heard and are met with embarrassed silence.

As a starter I offer

Now why didn't I do that the first time

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Never up never in or

I thought I hit that great too (as it airmalis a green or finds a nice deep greenside bunker)

 

[JezzE]

'Sorry, I'm not normally this bad!'
(Hope I didn't witter that at The Belfry, Murph?)

 

[Spoff]

GET IN THE HOLE...








Sorry

 

[mattyb0y]

Not enough Legs??

 

[mattyb0y]

Best 1 i heard was when i was standing over a putt and some 1 said.... Ooooh thats a Dennis Wise

A nasty little 5 footer

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Heard a new one the other day - the Christina Kim - fat and annoying

 

[RGDave]

You know me (you do, don't you?)

There is only one phrase sure to make me want to wrap a 3 iron around someone's head.

"It's not how but how many".

If you couldn't give a stuff "how"...what chance is there of getting any better?

There - I've said it.

 

[USER1999]

Who's putt is it?

Who's on the tee?

FF sake hit it man.

Where'd that go?

Whose ball are we looking for? and what was it?

Sorry mate, never saw it.

FORE!

Oh, no body likes to see that.

Every shot makes someone happy.

 

[ADB]

I was hitting it great on the range.

I always play this hole badly.

I saw it bounce (when the ball disappears into knee high rough)

I'll play a provisional just in case.

Did you see where it went in?

 

[JustOne]

I'll hit a provisional.

That's a double bogey for me.

That's a bogey for me.

Sorry, I lost count, put me down for an 8.

Don't worry, I get a shot on this hole.

Easy hole this one.

.....********!!

Yes that's my ball (after seeing it)

That's where you were aiming.

Don't worry we'll find that.

 

[Fore]

Oh ********!

 

[moonraker]

its scared of heights

 

[Twire]

No pictures on the scorecard

 

[CliveW]

"Oh, hard lines."
"That's a shame."
"Is my friend in the bunker, or is the (Unmentionable swearword) on the green?"

 

[mancity101]

Trees are 90% air!!!! oh yeah!

Oh thats a Douglas Bader...no legs good in the air!( dont like that one really)

Opps a J Arthur (J Arthur Rank - Shank)

What did you hit there?...really ! I only hit an 8 ( and they are 30yds short)

Get in/out the Gordon ( J Brand - sand)

 

[USER1999]

Has that gone past the ladies tee, other wise it's ...... time.

 

[Region3]

"Well in"
"Well out"
"You're still away"
"C'mon wind!"

 

[drawboy]

One more club 'n' it was perfect.
C'mon wind
Birdied this last week
Can't understand that I'm normally really good out of a bunker.

 

[Bunkers]

"You should be ok there...." - Usually never seen again

"Does your boyfriend play golf too..." - After a very short putt

"Shot..." - Reference to any average or above shot