The Manifesto.

[haplesshacker]

So it's an idea ripped straight off Radio 4 and Mark Thomas. But what the heck!

The idea is that we come up with ideas for a political manifesto. Totally hypothetical of course.

Be as funny or as serious as you like.

If you've ever heard the 6:30 show, you'll know what I'm on about.

In case you've never heard of the show. Here's a link to give you some ideas of what I mean.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00x44lw/Mark_Thomas_The_Manifesto_Series_3_Episode_1/

 

[robbest3offthetee]

Sorry ,No Can Do,Im to HONEST.....

 

[Yerman]

I'd abolish the right to sue for falls that costs councils and council payers thousands every year, everyone should be responsible for putting one foot in front of the other.

 

[haplesshacker]

Anyone that doesn't work should not be allowed to have 8:30am appointments at the doctors, dentist, hairdressers, etc. They've got the rest of the day to have appointments.

Appointments at the start of the day, or the end of the day should be left for those that work.

 

[bobmac]

People who dont walk on the escalator and stop other people from getting passed.
I even saw a sign in a certain supermarket saying DO NOT WALK on the escalator.
Am I not trusted to walk upstairs now???
As dangerous as using a sharp fork (which will probably be banned soon too)

 

[richart]

Drivers who stop in the country roads around us for a chat with a driver coming the other way, and block the road. They may not be in a hurry, but i am late for my tee off time.

 

[robbest3offthetee]

I would EXTERMINATE all the people i see using a mobile phone whilst driving,what can be that important....

 

[USER1999]

Ban pensioners and the unemployed from post offices between 12.00 and 13.30.

Repatriate any immigrant who commits a crime (parking tickets count) in their first 5 years of being here.

Reduce diesel prices (ok, petrol too).

Make anyone caught not paying taxes (or vat) repay at £10 in the pound. No limit on time either.

Cut the hands (and feet?) off burglars and drug dealers.

Ban anyone under the age of 70 from playing Ping.

 

[chrisd]

I would make illegal

Companies that phone you and then ask you to prove who you are!

Foreign call centres

Bank staff who want to know if I want to use the automatic paying in when I am queuing

Scamming private parking companies who know their parking tickets are totally unenforceable

Football referees that cant see from 10 yards what we can all see from the stands

The BBC who think that anyone cares how any Scottish football teams got on.

Anyone over 18 who wears white golf trousers

Anyone who cites "money laundering regulations" when you get a £20 note out

Anyone who wouldn't want to see Nigella Lawson "spatchcock her pousin!"



Now you've started me off!



Chris

 

[bobmac]

Reality tv.
I'm looking at the tv guide right now and there's the following to enjoy.

Real filth fighters
Too fat for 15
half ton teen
my son, drugs and me
Road wars
Uk border force
Brit cop
Kick out the kids
traffic cops
200kg kids
It's me or the dog USA
etc etc

 

[viscount17]

brilliant program, what day is it on?

altered (corrected) terms and conditions for MPs
it's no longer an election every 5 years - it's a job interview at which the Great British Public (GBP) hire a set of managers, and since we hire we can fire and set their pay and conditions.
party politics are banned within the walls of Westminster - all the appointees are expected to work together, if they can't they get fired. (also you cut out the blame game - they're all guilty, and you don't need as many saving us a fortune).
no vote if you don't attend the debate (hereinafter meeting), and if you don't attend you better have a sick note.
if pm's question time is maintained - no sycophantic questions allowed

 

[viscount17]

no-one over the age or size of 12 is allowed to wear stretch pants.
sandals with socks is a hanging offence

 

[MizunoGreyhound]

Ban lorries from anything other than inside lane of motorways and dual carriageways

Eliminate from society kiddy fiddlers

Prisoners lose all human rights.

Bring back hanging.

Discipline for school children to be re-instated

National service to be brought back

Too much?

 

[Deleted member 1418]

Blimey - where to start!! I could be typing away for about a week!!!

A few off the top of my head are:

Instant repatriation of all illegal immigrants;
A severe cap on immigration;
Compulsory national service for a minimum 3 years (for those unfit to go into armed forces then they must do community services);
'Life' jail terms to mean life;
Complete overhaul of jail institutions - would be happy with draconian conditions for serious offenders;
US style 'boot camps' for young offenders, followed by immediate national / community service;
Zero tolerance policy on crime and drugs;
Common sense approach to health and safety;
Immediate withdrawal of benefits to those cheating the system;
Prime Ministers to only serve a maximum of two terms;
If Prime Ministers resign or leave office before an election, a general election must be called to elect new one.

 

[Ethan]

Blimey - where to start!! I could be typing away for about a week!!!

A few off the top of my head are:

Instant repatriation of all illegal immigrants;
A severe cap on immigration;
Compulsory national service for a minimum 3 years (for those unfit to go into armed forces then they must do community services);
'Life' jail terms to mean life;
Complete overhaul of jail institutions - would be happy with draconian conditions for serious offenders;
US style 'boot camps' for young offenders, followed by immediate national / community service;
Zero tolerance policy on crime and drugs;
Common sense approach to health and safety;
Immediate withdrawal of benefits to those cheating the system;
Prime Ministers to only serve a maximum of two terms;
If Prime Ministers resign or leave office before an election, a general election must be called to elect new one.

Copyright Daily Mail?

Did you forget:
Re-open the investigation into Princess Di's death?

 

[Deleted member 1418]

Copyright Daily Mail?

Did you forget:
Re-open the investigation into Princess Di's death?

Ethan - today - very much so. However tomorrow I am more than likely to be calling my fellow comrades out on strike and agreeing with everthing in Socialist Worker!!

Think I'll leave the politics to those that actually [might] know what they're doing!!!

Anyway, everyone knows that Prince Phillip arranged for Di to be bumped off!!!

 

[19th]

Can I put mine in capital letters so that I can shout it .. it is only one!

ALL CARS OCCUPING A DISABLED SPACE WITHOUT A CARD ON DISPLAY SHOULD BE CLAMPED AND BE GIVEN A £100 RELEASE FINE!!

During the bad weather all disabled bays were occupied by nut cases whilst the disabled had to find a space in the park and slip and slide through the snow and ice.

Nut cases?? No, KNOBS of the greatest order! I HATE THEM!!

 

[AuburnWarrior]

Blimey - where to start!! I could be typing away for about a week!!!

A few off the top of my head are:

Instant repatriation of all illegal immigrants;
A severe cap on immigration;
Compulsory national service for a minimum 3 years (for those unfit to go into armed forces then they must do community services);
'Life' jail terms to mean life;
Complete overhaul of jail institutions - would be happy with draconian conditions for serious offenders;
US style 'boot camps' for young offenders, followed by immediate national / community service;
Zero tolerance policy on crime and drugs;
Common sense approach to health and safety;
Immediate withdrawal of benefits to those cheating the system;
Prime Ministers to only serve a maximum of two terms;
If Prime Ministers resign or leave office before an election, a general election must be called to elect new one.

Copyright Daily Mail?

Did you forget:
Re-open the investigation into Princess Di's death?

And Steven Gateley's!! Something not quite right there....

 

[RGDave]

I'd like to play ball, but I think a) it would take too long and b) I'd explode in a rant.

HOWEVER, I will mention a few.

1) The message that appears on my TV everyday (and seemingly every-time I switch channel) now reminding me to press blue to read or yellow to cancel. This needs to go.
2) Drivers on phones, in disabled bays
3) Cues - from now on, only the Bank/Matalan-style cue will be accepted.
4) £50+ green fees on average courses.

Tempting to go on.

 

[lobthewedge]

HANG FLY TIPPERS!