Spinal injury... any experience in care giving?

[Mudball]

MIL unfortunately has fractures to her spine. She is staying with us and unfortunately now bed ridden. The pain and shrieking is agonising to watch. She is on horse strength painkillers. Due to her age, surgery is ruled out and she should just rest and recover. So no point getting the ambulance out or taking her to A&E. So focus now to see how we can provide care. She has some good days and some bad. Last week she managed to get to the toilet, but this week she cant turn on her side.

Got the bed pans and some plastic sheets. Mrs is a superhero, but thinking if we need to get some specialist carer to visit. anyone any experience in providing care in such situations.

PS: I hope she recovers soon. She went from a fully independent woman to a mental wreck in the past couple of weeks. We really never take care of our health till we lose it.

take care all..and tnx in advance.

 

[Kellfire]

If you need it and can access it, don’t be ashamed or think it’s a bad thing to get external help. There’s a real emotional pressure to feel like we should be the one to help loved ones but there’s a massive draining burden on your mental health to see someone suffer. Don’t take that all on yourselves and if and when you can get out and about and do the normal things. Horrible situation and I hope she recovers fully and quickly.

 

[Mudball]

If you need it and can access it, don’t be ashamed or think it’s a bad thing to get external help. There’s a real emotional pressure to feel like we should be the one to help loved ones but there’s a massive draining burden on your mental health to see someone suffer. Don’t take that all on yourselves and if and when you can get out and about and do the normal things. Horrible situation and I hope she recovers fully and quickly.

I agree.. The mental side is tough. Mrs waking up at odd hours to help. MIL concerned with her dignity when i am the only one at home, so holds off till Mrs returns from work, It is not easy on anyone. (as i find out everyday)

 

[Kellfire]

I agree.. The mental side is tough. Mrs waking up at odd hours to help. MIL concerned with her dignity when i am the only one at home, so holds off till Mrs returns from work, It is not easy on anyone. (as i find out everyday)

The dignity aspect is huge but what I’d always say is, “Would you do the same for me? Of course you would.” and just hope that gave her some comfort.

 

[Deleted member 16999]

Speak to her/your GP and tell them you need assistance from the District Nurses and a visit from an Occupational Therapist.

The Nurses can help/assist with care and the Occupational Therapist can help source any equipment you can get on short term loan to help with her needs.

Don’t be afraid to ask, we looked after the Mother-in-law for 4 years at home and initially we were clueless as to what help is available and what appliances/equipment is there to help with movement, mobility etc.

It is not begging for help and it is nothing to be ashamed of, these services are available to help those in need and getting the right help at home can stop her and you being forced in to ringing 999 should anything occur that could of been avoided.

 

[SaintHacker]

If you need it and can access it, don’t be ashamed or think it’s a bad thing to get external help. There’s a real emotional pressure to feel like we should be the one to help loved ones but there’s a massive draining burden on your mental health to see someone suffer. Don’t take that all on yourselves and if and when you can get out and about and do the normal things. Horrible situation and I hope she recovers fully and quickly.

Not very often that you and I agree but this 100% spot on. Having been through something similar with my Dad its sound advice, get help and do it asap, its nothing to be ashamed of and once the support is in place its extremely good.

 

[Slab]

I suppose the cause is a key point here

I fractured my spine (cause unknown, it was an impact type injury but there was no impact!) and after the body-cast was fitted the docs were keen to get me up & out of bed as best I could with crutches etc to start the recovery. Released from hospital when I could work crutches up/down stairs (not discharged in a rushed way though)
I was in hospitals for 2 weeks after it happened, first week was using bedpans etc in overseas hospital, no moving etc but once the cast was on in the uk then it was get me up & take it slow while learning how to go to the loo etc
At home it was get out of bed every day, figure out easiest way to get cast on/off, get clothes on and move about the house. Practice moving around a little more each day, go to loo, make coffee etc because my wife still had to work. First couple of weeks I slept with my cast on then gradually taking it off
Back to desk job after 4 more weeks with a polo top over the cast, with weekly physio at the local hospital for 8 weeks to show me exercises and test the recovery

Reading that back I don’t want it to sound like it was easy, it freakin wasn’t & the pain was mighty, but in my case (35 at the time) med-long term bed-rest was not prescribed, so it could be totally diff for your MiL
My wife was brilliant throughout and I wouldn't have managed without her help because in the early days/weeks at home every little thing needed the help of an extra person

Without finishing on a low point, 20 years on & my back still suffers from aches whenever its damp/cold or I’m on my feet for too long
Hope she recovers soon

 

[williamalex1]

DCB forum moderator may have some advice, he suffered a severe back injury a few years ago .
Best trying to get professional help, best of luck

 

[stefanovic]

We really never take care of our health till we lose it.

We have our health span and we have our life span.
The body is bound to break down because in technical terms it is low entropy.
I looked after my mother for a year 24/7 until she died and she had her good days and bad days.
Painkillers are okay. Our ancestors never had such luxury.

 

[Robster59]

I would agree with the comments to reach out and see if you can get some support from nurses attending on a daily basis. It will take some strain on you and your mother in law may find it easier to have some of her needs tended to be nurses rather than someone she knows personally.
Having been through looking after the Father in Law, I know the strain things like this can cause.

 

[Mudball]

On a side note.. every evening when we get to sit down for dinner and telly. Mrs wants to see something that is not sports or serious. So have been watching Clarkson’s Farm on Prime.
normally she has never been a fan for jezza but she loves the show. Good to see him out of his depth. Moaning about climate change, Brexit, red tape, silly ideas, sheep shearing etc. Love his Lambo. Been wonderful to keep mind away from the situation for the 45 mins we get away

 

[jim8flog]

You can get home carers but it is financially assessed if you want to go the Social Services route.

My wife only had nurses for essential medical routines (not financially assessed) and in the main it was care companies that provided the staff.

Social Services only put in the care teams when my own back got so bad I could no longer do it.

We had two carers every day from 9-10.30 one 12-1pm and one 3- 3.30 two carers from 8- 9pm. The nurse only came in every other day mornings only. The package actually became to expensive and they wanted to put her in a Care home to reduce the cost and we had to go to a special tribunal to justify here staying at home.

Watch out for your own physical and mental health it get very demanding on both. Socail Services where I live are very good at supplying any equipment needed such as a hoist it is the staff which is a problem.

 

[Mudball]

You can get home carers but it is financially assessed if you want to go the Social Services route.

My wife only had nurses for essential medical routines (not financially assessed) and in the main it was care companies that provided the staff.

Social Services only put in the care teams when my own back got so bad I could no longer do it.

We had two carers every day from 9-10.30 one 12-1pm and one 3- 3.30 two carers from 8- 9pm. The nurse only came in every other day mornings only. The package actually became to expensive and they wanted to put her in a Care home to reduce the cost and we had to go to a special tribunal to justify here staying at home.

Watch out for your own physical and mental health it get very demanding on both. Socail Services where I live are very good at supplying any equipment needed such as a hoist it is the staff which is a problem.

Tnx.. we r looking at the private in-home care. Don’t fancy care home - that will be too much for her esp since visits are not allowed. Currently looking at equipment

 

[Doh]

I am a retired nurse one issue you should get some advice on is moving and handling I hope you and your wife are not doing this manually. Speak to the district nursing service see if you can get a m&h assessment done.