Secret affair 😜

[Fade and Die]

Again this is absolute rubbish, shagging her husband for 25 years shows a continued lack of respect not turning up at the funeral where no one knows her.....

Someone will know her. 100%

Probably one of his mates… he will tell his wife who will tell her friend etc. it will spread like wildfire. Someone on the wife’s side of the family hears, it all kicks off!

Sounds like a fun day out, @williamalex1 what time is the service?

 

[SteveW86]

With all due respect.. you said basically the same thing in one post above so leave it out.

Yes, I did…..the emojis were to show sarcasm as we basically said exactly the same thing at exactly the same time

 

[AmandaJR]

Someone will know her. 100%

Probably one of his mates… he will tell his wife who will tell her friend etc. it will spread like wildfire. Someone on the wife’s side of the family hears, it all kicks off!

Sounds like a fun day out, @williamalex1 what time is the service?

Forum meet?!

 

[Arthur Wedge]

Can I just put out there that maybe this guy deserves to have his reputation tarnished?!

Not at his funeral with his kids there

 

[Arthur Wedge]

Again this is absolute rubbish, shagging her husband for 25 years shows a continued lack of respect not turning up at the funeral where no one knows her.....

Both of them showed a lack of respect for people outside their relationship as it does in most affairs and by going to the funeral where I have no doubt that someone would know her would continue to show that same lack of respect and would also have the potential to cause even more harm to his family who will already be hurting loosing a husband/father/uncle/son etc

 

[IanM]

Forum meet?!

Depends which list you're on

 

[backwoodsman]

All I can say is that there are some very judgemental folk on here (but then, thats not news ...) We dont know the circumstances of the relationship, but if it had been going on for 25 years, then it suggests there was more than a 'passing fling' going on, and deep feelings involved. Most probably on the part of the 'single' party, if not indeed both. If she wants to say goodbye to someone she cared deeply about (probably), then she should go. And unless the woman is a numpty, she'd do so discreetly without any need for 'a scene' or any revelations.

But its not fair to ask someone else to be a party to it.

 

[louise_a]

The problem as I see it is if she want to be there to say goodbye, then that is fine, but if her intention is to cause a scene then that is a completely different scenario, glad it is not me who was asked.

 

[chico]

Can I just put out there that maybe this guy deserves to have his reputation tarnished?!

He's dead. Only people that could be hurt are his family.

 

[sunshine]

I met this lovely woman at my dad’s funeral this morning. Never seen her before but she seemed to know all about me. She seemed quite upset.

This is an interesting story but my dad never had time for an affair because he used to work late three nights a week and stay in a hotel.

 

[Slime]

We're totally shocked/amazed, a unmarried family friend has just told us that she's been having a very secret affair with a married man for 25 years and he has suddenly died.
Seemingly he leaves a wife and 2 children in their late teens.
She doesn't drive and has asked my wife if she would take her to the funeral.
I don't think she should attend the funeral or my wife should drive her there.
What's your thoughts?

My thoughts are steer clear.
It's not your problem, so keep it that way.
Besides, it may turn out that you know the family involved.

 

[LIG]

We're totally shocked/amazed, a unmarried family friend has just told us that she's been having a very secret affair with a married man for 25 years and he has suddenly died.
Seemingly he leaves a wife and 2 children in their late teens.
She doesn't drive and has asked my wife if she would take her to the funeral.
I don't think she should attend the funeral or my wife should drive her there.
What's your thoughts?

To the OP - I know you say "We're..." but are you sure your wife didn't know about the affair? It seems quite strange to ask for a lift when there are many means of transport available to her and she wouldn't have had to reveal the secret that she's "kept" for 25 years.
Trying to guess the friend's thoughts is a minefield but you are better placed to decide if she is likely to: a) need your wife to support her at the funeral ; or b) need your wife to help her make a quick getaway after letting off the revelation "poo-bomb" that's been ticking away.

 

[Fade and Die]

I met this lovely woman at my dad’s funeral this morning. Never seen her before but she seemed to know all about me. She seemed quite upset.

This is an interesting story but my dad never had time for an affair because he used to work late three nights a week and stay in a hotel.

Reminds me of my Auntie in the late 70s, she married a fella, he seemed great, we went to the wedding etc. he was a long distance lorry driver, and was away from home 3/4 nights a week.

All was fine for about 10 years then one day their daughter got into a minor accident, my Auntie didn’t have a phone so she went to his yard to tell them to try to get a message to him up in Scotland, only to be told they only did local drop off work and he will be back in about an hour

Turns out he had another family somewhere south of the river!

 

[D-S]

Is attending a funeral the only way to ‘say goodbye’ to someone?
This is a funeral no doubt arranged by and for the man’s family, which have nothing to do with the ‘other woman’.
Surely you can find a better way of ‘saying goodbye’ in private and away from the family that you have necessarily avoided for so many years?
Intruding on a family’s grief and risking all the repercussions seems insensitive to me.

 

[Ye Olde Boomer]

We're totally shocked/amazed, a unmarried family friend has just told us that she's been having a very secret affair with a married man for 25 years and he has suddenly died.
Seemingly he leaves a wife and 2 children in their late teens.
She doesn't drive and has asked my wife if she would take her to the funeral.
I don't think she should attend the funeral or my wife should drive her there.
What's your thoughts?

One of my gang at the club was only only fifty-seven when he left us.
At his funeral, no fewer than THREE of his girlfriends (plus his wife) showed up.
It's really not a big deal in this day and age.

Because I can't match that, I've decided to go straight from my death bed to the crematory.
The arrangements are already made and paid for.
I wasn't fated to become a legend. My funeral wouldn't be any fun.

 

[bobmac]

It's really not a big deal in this day and age.

Words fail me...

 

[HomerJSimpson]

All I can say is that there are some very judgemental folk on here (but then, thats not news ...) We dont know the circumstances of the relationship, but if it had been going on for 25 years, then it suggests there was more than a 'passing fling' going on, and deep feelings involved. Most probably on the part of the 'single' party, if not indeed both. If she wants to say goodbye to someone she cared deeply about (probably), then she should go. And unless the woman is a numpty, she'd do so discreetly without any need for 'a scene' or any revelations.

But its not fair to ask someone else to be a party to it.

Totally agree. Not fair to involve someone else so get their under your own steam, pay your respects and then go home and say or do nothing

 

[Orikoru]

If it's a well-attended funeral and she intends to sneak in, sit quietly at the back and slope away before the wake or anything, then I think she'll be alright to go. Probably won't be asked anything by anyone, and if she was, she can just say 'old work friend' or something believable. However if it's a small funeral with just close friends and family then absolutely not.

And tell her to get a cab, not sure why she's needing to rope you guys into it.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Is attending a funeral the only way to ‘say goodbye’ to someone?
This is a funeral no doubt arranged by and for the man’s family, which have nothing to do with the ‘other woman’.
Surely you can find a better way of ‘saying goodbye’ in private and away from the family that you have necessarily avoided for so many years?
Intruding on a family’s grief and risking all the repercussions seems insensitive to me.

That’s the moral decision the woman has to make…not Billy’s wife.

Billy’s wife has to decide whether or not to support her friend. In choosing to do so she would not be condoning or excusing her friend’s behaviour - she doesn’t need to in order to support her as a friend - she’s simply supporting her friend in her friend’s time of need. At the funeral she can remain physically detached if she needs to. But inside or outside of the venue - she’d be there for her friend.

 

[Tashyboy]

Just outta interest. How will she be able to find out when and where the funeral is. Makes me wonder if she was actually a “ friend” of the family.
Cannot see any positives in getting involved.