She's Too Young For You If.....

standrew

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Jan 20, 2014
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This is quite immature, but i thought it was funny. Can you add any?

she might be too young for you if You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.
she might be too young for you if You ever cut your grass and found a car.
she might be too young for you if You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
she might be too young for you if You think the stock market has a fence around it.
she might be too young for you if Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.
she might be too young for you if Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
she might be too young for you if You own a homemade fur coat.
she might be too young for you if Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
she might be too young for you if You burn your yard rather than mow it.
she might be too young for you if Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
she might be too young for you if You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
she might be too young for you if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
she might be too young for you if You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
she might be too young for you if Birds are attracted to your beard.
she might be too young for you if Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
she might be too young for you if You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.
she might be too young for you if You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
she might be too young for you if You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
she might be too young for you if Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
she might be too young for you if You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
she might be too young for you if You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
she might be too young for you if You clean your fingernails with a stick.
she might be too young for you if Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
she might be too young for you if You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
she might be too young for you if Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
she might be too young for you if Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
she might be too young for you if Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
she might be too young for you if You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
she might be too young for you if There are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.
she might be too young for you if The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
she might be too young for you if There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.
she might be too young for you if You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
she might be too young for you if The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
she might be too young for you if You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
she might be too young for you if You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
she might be too young for you if You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
she might be too young for you if You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.
she might be too young for you if You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
she might be too young for you if Your considered an expert on wormbeds.
she might be too young for you if Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
she might be too young for you if The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
she might be too young for you if You've ever bought a used cap.
she might be too young for you if Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
she might be too young for you if You pick your teeth from a catalog.
she might be too young for you if You've ever financed a tattoo.
she might be too young for you if You've ever stolen toilet paper.
she might be too young for you if You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
she might be too young for you if People hear your car a long time before they see it.
she might be too young for you if The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
she might be too young for you if You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
she might be too young for you if You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
she might be too young for you if You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
she might be too young for you if You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
she might be too young for you if You think the French Riviera is foreign car.
she might be too young for you if You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
she might be too young for you if You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
she might be too young for you if you have ever used lard in bed.
she might be too young for you if you own more than 3 shirts with cut off sleeves.
she might be too young for you if you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.
she might be too young for you if your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
she might be too young for you if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
she might be too young for you if The primary color of your car is bondo.
she might be too young for you if directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road."
she might be too young for you if your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
she might be too young for you if you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
she might be too young for you if you ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
she might be too young for you if Jack Daniels makes you list of most admired people.
she might be too young for you if your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
she might be too young for you if you see no need to stop at a rest stop 'cause you have an empty milk jug.
she might be too young for you if you consider the fifth grade you senior year.
she might be too young for you if you have a rag for a gas cap.
she might be too young for you if the dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
she might be too young for you if you have a hefty bag where the window of your car should be.
she might be too young for you if you have ever bar-b-qued Spam on the grill.
she might be too young for you if your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
she might be too young for you if Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card.
she might be too young for you if you bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while you're at work.
she might be too young for you if your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
she might be too young for you if you view the next family reunion as a chance to meet girls.
she might be too young for you if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
she might be too young for you if your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
she might be too young for you if the main course at potluck dinners is roadkill.
she might be too young for you if you mow the front yard and find a car.
she might be too young for you if your other truck is made by John Deere.
she might be too young for you if you think suspenders are a type of shirt.
she might be too young for you if going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.
she might be too young for you if you keep a spit cup on the ironing board.
she might be too young for you if you ever got too drunk to fish.
she might be too young for you if More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.
she might be too young for you if Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
she might be too young for you if You've ever used lard in bed.
she might be too young for you if Your home has more miles on it than your car.
she might be too young for you if You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve.
 

mchacker

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Sep 1, 2013
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Skim reading some of them it seems to be saying the southern american lower class are predominantly kiddy fiddlers.
 
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