Lies We Tell Our Kids

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

If the wind changes direction while you have your eyes crossed then they'll stay that way.

If you swallow chewing/bubble gum your tummy will get tied in knots (though that may be almost true)

 

[patricks148]

My father sometimes told my brother and I we were having crocodile for Sunday Lunch.. for years were we always exited about this, until we found out it was just a leg of lamb... Very disappointing and went off it after that, only started eating lamb again about 40 years later

 

[Piece]

If you're naughty, the naughty boy alarm will go off.

 

[srixon 1]

According to my dad, eating cabbage when you are about 10 years old will put "hairs on your chest". Must be slow acting as I had to wait until I was about 20

 

[dewsweeper]

Told to my 2 boys years ago, in early Spring "No the tortoise isn't dead, he is asleep".
Then one of its front legs fell off !
Oops,
Dewsweeper

 

[Fyldewhite]

30 years ago when my daughter was little used to tell her the huge cooling towers at power stations were "cloud factories".

 

[Smiffy]

My Son Harry had a thing about "Sonic the hedgehog" when he was tiny.
The only way I could get him to eat any veg at all was to tell him that eating runner beans would enable him to run like Sonic.

 

[GreiginFife]

30 years ago when my daughter was little used to tell her the huge cooling towers at power stations were "cloud factories".

I told my son (he is 5) the same thing about the refinery at Grangemouth. That the towers were where clouds were made...
Until last week where we drove past and I said "Look at the clouds being made Rohan!". To which he replied "Really? You are 37 and you believe that? Its just steam Dad, just like from the kettle!"

Yeah, I blame the schools.

 

[Crawfy]

That the burglar sensors in the rooms downstairs report everything you do to Santa - so behave!!!

Yep, this got rolled out on December 1st. Even better in that the little one spotted the red light flashing and is now utterly convinced.

 

[Crawfy]

If you eat any jelly from the pack then a full jelly will grow in your stomach.

 

[JustOne]

Anything to do with God

Anything to do with Father Christmas

Anything to do with the Tooth Fairy

Anything to do with the Easter Bunny

Anthing to do with...... (insert more fiction here)




We don't half warp their minds!!!

 

[hovis]

He's your dad!

 

[Hobbit]

Anything to do with God

Anything to do with Father Christmas

Anything to do with the Tooth Fairy

Anything to do with the Easter Bunny

Anthing to do with...... (insert more fiction here)




We don't half warp their minds!!!

Are you telling me there's no Easter Bunny? So what does lay the Easter eggs then?

 

[dewsweeper]

Anything to do with God

Anything to do with Father Christmas

Anything to do with the Tooth Fairy

Anything to do with the Easter Bunny

Anthing to do with...... (insert more fiction here)

Oh dear ,I agree with your first one but not the rest, no tooth fairy!!!!!

Scrooge is alive and kicking.
Dewsweeper