Real Golf Rules - feel free to add your own.

[Imurg]

Rule 1.
A Provisional ball will always go bullet straight down the middle of the fairway

 

[Val]

Rule 2 - A practice putt after a 3 foot miss for a half will always go in.

 

[patricks148]

Liverpool Phil and Foxholer will reply to every post on here, regardless

 

[Hacker Khan]

If there is a group further down the fairway just within reach of your bestest ever tee shot, and you decide to wait to tee off, you will top it 40 yards. Especially, if by waiting, the group behind have caught you up and are watching you.

 

[NWJocko]

If there is a group further down the fairway just within reach of your bestest ever tee shot, and you decide to wait to tee off, you will top it 40 yards. Especially, if by waiting, the group behind have caught you up and are watching you.

In a similar vein....

Rule 4. When you wait for a par 5 green to clear before your second shot you will make a right mess of it, getting nowhere near the green.

 

[Pin-seeker]

You wil always hit a bad shot when someone lets you play through.

Good thread

 

[dufferman]

After watching your PP put his drive right, your drive will always go left.

 

[Doon frae Troon]

When your PP stands on the tee and says 'this is quite an easy par 4' he will always take bogey or worse.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

You can play a provisional tee shot before you play your tee shot.

 

[GB72]

When warming up on the putting green you must always take 3 balls, never more, never less

 

[Deleted member 1147]

If there is a group further down the fairway just within reach of your bestest ever tee shot, and you decide to wait to tee off, you will top it 40 yards. Especially, if by waiting, the group behind have caught you up and are watching you.

Or if you don't wait you will absolutely nail it.

 

[Airlie_Andy]

Rule 1.
A Provisional ball will always go bullet straight down the middle of the fairway

Rule 1a - this must be immediately followed with the words "why didn't I/you do that the first time"

 

[ADB]

A duff is invariably followed by a thin.....

 

[Deleted member 1147]

Driver well one day, drive poorly the next.
&,
A good long game will always be in conjunction with poor short game and vice versa

 

[Fyldewhite]

If you play out of your skin midweek, all parts of your game will disintegrate by Saturday.

 

[bladeplayer]

If you hit one drive 350 yards down hill down wind in you whole life , Rules state this is your average driving distance for life ..

 

[Hacker Khan]

The person with the loudest clothing in the group who thinks dressing in bright lime green trousers like Ian Poulter will make him play like Ian Poulter, will be the worst at golf in that group.

 

[Rooter]

Tapping your shoes to clear sand with a wedge like they do on the TV, will mean at least one clip of the ankle with your wedge.

 

[gripitripit]

Tapping your shoes to clear sand with a wedge like they do on the TV, will mean at least one clip of the ankle with your wedge.

Done that once....went down like I got shot...right on the nerve..!!!

 

[bladeplayer]

Tapping your shoes to clear sand with a wedge like they do on the TV, will mean at least one clip of the ankle with your wedge.

Guilty .. laughed, but wanted to cry like a baby