Please help us sleep!

[slugger]

We have a beautiful wee 15 month old daughter. She's always happy, smiling, on the go etc etc...

However, she still hasn't learned that sleep is a good thing. She goes down at 8ish most nights. Every night and she's up any time from 12.30 am to 3.30ish am and will not settle at all. This means we don't sleep as the only way to get her back into anything resembling sleep mode is to haver her in with us.

We've tried everything... controlled sleeping, leaving her to scream her head off, getting to her as quick as possible, extra feed in the middle of night etc. Tried the lot...

or have we?

Anyone got any tips from past experience of sleep deprivation due to toddler syndrome!

Help! It's driving me nuts

 

[slowhand]

When you put her in the cot at night is she awake or already asleep?

 

[slugger]

we make a point of her being awake when we put her down. However, she will not go to sleep unless we are there, rubbing her back, or sitting next to her.

 

[Twire]

What I will advise, is when you get up to feed her in the night. Make sure you don't stimulate her...no watching telly, talking, singing etc while feeding. Hold her on you hip, make it a little uncomfortable, feed her, then straight back to bed. Then hopfully she'll get the massage that night time feedings not that much fun.

 

[viscount17]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but some kids are like that, my middle one for example. You will also have discovered by now that the docs are useless.

He never slept through for more than two nights in a row until he was five. Anything we tried worked one or at most two nights, and worked only once. We took to leaving a low light on, didn't change anything but if he could see to amuse himself it would put off the inevitable for a short while. (His brother and sister were as good as gold).


It does run in families. My mother was hugely sympathetic, said it was revenge for me. (I always wanted the curtains open so that I could see things moving.)

 

[Redwood]

Slugger,

What has been the pattern in the past? Has she ever slept through? Did she used to sleep in your bed?

From experience, as I have a 13 month old daughter at the moment, and as Twire said, just a quick feed with a bottle in her room (no stimulation, no lights etc...) quick wind, and then straight back down. I'm guessing you have tried all of the suggestions posted already, but it took a while (probably 2 weeks) for ours to get the idea that once she was down it was time for sleep. If she got upset, we'd leave her for 5 minutes max, go back up and settle her again, and put her back down.

She eventually got the message. Now she's got it into her head that she won't eat anything, which is another challenge!!

 

[brendy]

It could well be the little'un needs slightly thicker milk (if not breastfeeding). Milupa do three stages of their aptamil milk. Babies/toddlers tend to sleep better with heavy stomachs.
Our third is 8 months now and is only just getting into any sort of pattern now, the middle girl is 2 now and she tells us that she wants to go to bed rather than have to be dragged up the stairs (usually a little after a feed of hot chocolate! haha)

 

[slugger]

she did have a spell of 3 weeks, just before her first birthday, that she slept for 10 hours a night... then i don't know what happened.

it's as though she's having nightmares or something and just can't bear to be on her own.

 

[tonto768]

Slugger,
Have you tried a drammie. If it doesn't work on her have it yourself and you wont hear her.

 

[KeefG]

we make a point of her being awake when we put her down. However, she will not go to sleep unless we are there, rubbing her back, or sitting next to her.

There's a problem straight away!!! You cant be held to ransom by your daughter, which is pretty much what she is doing, by making you stay with her until she goes to sleep.

Its going to be very hard to get her out of doing it now though but the sooner you start making her go to sleep on her own the better.

How often, when she wakes in the middle of the night, do you put her in bed with you 2? I reckon the vast majority of the time??? Your daughter knows this is going to happen which is probably why she does it....kids arent thick!!

Get her to sleep alone, then when she wakes in the middle of the night it wont be such a big deal when she's put back to bed alone, but you need to stop her expecting one of you to be with her all the time or in your bed.

Good luck!

 

[slugger]

we make a point of her being awake when we put her down. However, she will not go to sleep unless we are there, rubbing her back, or sitting next to her.

There's a problem straight away!!! You cant be held to ransom by your daughter, which is pretty much what she is doing, by making you stay with her until she goes to sleep.

Its going to be very hard to get her out of doing it now though but the sooner you start making her go to sleep on her own the better.

How often, when she wakes in the middle of the night, do you put her in bed with you 2? I reckon the vast majority of the time??? Your daughter knows this is going to happen which is probably why she does it....kids arent thick!!

Get her to sleep alone, then when she wakes in the middle of the night it wont be such a big deal when she's put back to bed alone, but you need to stop her expecting one of you to be with her all the time or in your bed.

Good luck!

Sound advice, cheers. We have tried just leaving her to go to sleep on her own, but i don't know how much more screeming past an hour or two is going to help...

This is a lot more complicated than my golf swing!

 

[Region3]

Have you tried one of those mobiles that shines lights on the ceiling?
My daughter loved that when she was around that age.

 

[Fore]

Apparently, lashings of Kalpol help.

 

[slugger]

The calpol only works to a certain extent... i'm also not sure lashings are the way forward! although it has crossed my mind*!

*this is a joke - for any overly PC people out there...

 

[DelB]

My youngest is 14 months old and has slept through the night since she was about 13 weeks. We put her down at about 7.15pm and go and wake her in the morning at about 7.45am. Her older sister was the same, so we've clearly been very lucky indeed!

I can't imagine not getting sleep through the night - you have my sympathy!

Despite having no real experience in the matter, the non-stimulating, quiet feed and then straight back to her own bed seems to make sense.

Good luck mate.

 

[drawboy]

Don't let her sleep at all during the day, keep her awake at all costs, I know that you need a break during the day to get stuff done but by depriving her of sleep during the day she will have to sleep through at night.Do not let her dictate her sleeping patterns to you. (answer supplied by Mrs Drawboy pediatric nurse 30yrs experience)

 

[Fore]

Seriously though, i feel for you mate. Mine are all grown up now. Hope you get it sorted soon.
Regards,
Fore

 

[slugger]

sleep deprivation plays with the mind (

i posted on here a few months back about falling ill and getting taken away in an ambulance... at the time, i seriously thought it was sleep deprivation catching up on me. Thought my body was shutting down. Turns out i had a very nasty case of food poisoning!

The first thing that i thought though was that i had lost my mind and flipped! It really is that bad sometimes, just to let people realise how bad it can be.

Will try not letting her sleep, although that does go against what our health visitor has told us... we'll try anything at least once.

 

[DMC]

That brings back memories,we were lucky as both of ours went stright back to sleep after being fed,then after 13 weeks they slept right through.

 

[CliveW]

Have you tried one of those mobiles that shines lights on the ceiling?
My daughter loved that when she was around that age.

Surely she's too young for a cell phone?