Please advise

[Bamberdele2.0]

I’ve had 4 friends join my club within the last two months. 3 of them no issues, all had lessons and all at a fairly good standard to play the comps with. The other has just put 9 cards in with very little experience and got a handicap of 37 which he can now enter comps with. Well done to him. He’s keen.

Unfortunately said mate now likes to follow me around and join the weekend stableford/medals I’m playing in which consist of various other members I’ve met at the club which I’ve made great PP’s with.

Now, without sounding harsh, my heart sinks when I see his name join our group. And this is not a group that consists of my friends that have recently joined. He’s got great potential if he just went a saw a professional. I’ve dropped the hint numerous times but I think he’s restricted due to his income / budget.

I don’t mind playing social rounds with him as he is a good lad, but when it comes to the competitions he can really get on my tits and disrupt the rhythm that myself and others like to be in.

The only way I think I can get around this issue for my own sanity is to wait until 3 members have booked the allocated time slot with me jumping on that 4th spot so we are locked in. But that involves checking the booking system daily and also runs the risk of one of the other members dropping out freeing up that final slot for him to no doubt jump on.

The last thing I want to do is discourage him in any sense as I’ve got all the time for him in the world outside of these comps. I understand everyone has to start somewhere but I would have never of done it the way he’s done it. He’s not a slow player but there’s a hell of a lot of baggage with it.

Rant over. Please advise.

 

[G1z1]

Sounds as if he’s one of your good mates so why not just buy him a single lesson and it might surprise him what he’s gets out of it and make him go for more.

 

[Oddsocks]

Between yourself and the other 3 a lesson wouldn’t cost more than 15.00 each, that would be my initial approach. If not just go open and honest, you like playing bounce games but you feel you can’t enjoy your own game in comps.

If he knows your keen and competitive as a mate should, then he should understand.

I feel your pain as two infant school pals joined my clubs, both great guys but one was a very angry golfer and it effected your own enjoyment.

 

[Bamberdele2.0]

Why have posts been removed?

 

[SteveW86]

Why have posts been removed?

mods not approving of their content I would guess.

 

[clubchamp98]

It’s a big dilemma when a really good friend is a crap golfer.
There is no easy answer, without running the risk of upsetting him.
Just let him know you like to play with other ( better ) players to further your own education in the game.
Good luck though.

 

[sev112]

Ah, …. Life . Good luck. Same thing happens with music/bands, kids school friends parents, neighbours and holidays etc. etc.

to be honest, the most successful way is to be brutally honest from the start. Maybe even that you have other friends for golf. Or that they way he plays affects you.

 

[BiMGuy]

You could just behave like a grown up and and speak to the bloke ??‍

 

[MikeF86]

Its like an episode of Housewives of Cheshire. Either putt (intended) up with it or say something. DM me his number if you want and i'll call him. I'll tell him i've read a post on an internet forum and I felt the need to address it with him.

 

[Bamberdele2.0]

You could just behave like a grown up and and speak to the bloke ??‍

Don’t get it twisted, when the milk turns sour I ain’t the kinda p*say to drink it.

Do you know what I mean?

And why have you signed up with a username more akin to something you’d see on the grinder dating app.

Are you here to talk about golf or something else?

 

[BiMGuy]

Don’t get it twisted, when the milk turns sour I ain’t the kinda p*say to drink it.

Do you know what I mean?

And why have you signed up with a username more akin to something you’d see on the grinder dating app.

Are you here to talk about golf or something else?

To be honest I’ve got no idea what you are rambling on about.

That is my Grinder username. Maybe we’ve met before ?

 

[Bamberdele2.0]

I’m into a few things but schlong ain’t the one

 

[BiMGuy]

I’m into a few things but schlong ain’t the one

That’s what all the closet grinders say!

 

[Swango1980]

Not really sure what advice anybody can give here!? Probably something for Jerry Springer to sort out. Or, join a different club that does different draws. Virtually all of our comps are either handicap order, or random. None of them allow members to pick who they play with, unless it is some infrequent Open type comp or team event.

 

[Bamberdele2.0]

That’s what all the closet grinders say!

You’re in the wrong place pal

Not really sure what advice anybody can give here!? Probably something for Jerry Springer to sort out. Or, join a different club that does different draws. Virtually all of our comps are either handicap order, or random. None of them allow members to pick who they play with, unless it is some infrequent Open type comp or team event.

Only the weekend stableford / medals you are allowed to choose what time slots. All the bigger comps are drawn.

 

[Leftitshort]

Why did you come back with the same user name? We could have pretended you were a different fella.

 

[BiMGuy]

You’re in the wrong place pal

I’m not the one who appears to have accidentally posted on a golf forum rather then Mumsnet!

 

[Leftitshort]

It’s a really odd subject to post on. I can’t believe for second this fella would be fussed if you dropped him. He might be relieved ?

 

[Bdill93]

If you want to take the kind approach you could indeed buy him a lesson but I wouldnt. Id just encourage him to enter into various groups as "you've met some great PP's in comps" and "you should familiarise yourself with playing with strangers" in preparation for a bigger comp...

Basically spin it on him that its good to play with other groups and not just you every week.

That or brutal honesty!

But if you are really good mates personally, and you value him as a long term friend who may be a long term golfing PP - id just ride it out and he will eventually get better. Took my mate about 3 months longer than all the rest of us to get a lesson when we started up - when we started shooting in the 80's on the reg he quickly signed up too.

 

[Hobbit]

If he’s a friend, play with him. I experienced exactly the same thing 30 odd years back. I spoke to my friend, god parent to one of my children, and suggested he would improve quicker if he played with others too. He pretty much stopped playing and didn’t renew his membership. As I spent a lot of my free time at the club, we drifted apart. We’d been buddies for years… looking back, as I’ve often done, I got it wrong. I forced the issue instead of letting it develop at its own pace. At its own pace we might have found a better compromise.