Slime
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Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
Sid Rixon IV
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venger
Well-known member
Voyager EMH
Slipper Wearing Plucker of Pheasants
... and Niki Lauder?
Slime
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I told the Doctor that all four of my sons wanted to be parking attendants when they grew up.
He reckoned that must be the worst case of parking sons disease he'd ever seen!
He reckoned that must be the worst case of parking sons disease he'd ever seen!
True story this. I once cut a chunk out of the palm of my hand when I stumbled and put it on a car bonnet, oblivious to the fact that the aerial was broken.
When I went to A & E to have it stitched the nurse asked how I did it. So I told her the above.
She looked me dead in the eye, and without even the hint of a pause she said;
“That’s the worst case of van aerial disease I have ever seen.”
Brilliant.
Sid Rixon IV
Head Pro
Joke told yesterday by a Welsh man to 16 Welsh men post Seniors Match.
A Welsh man was shipwrecked and washed up on an island. When he came around he saw two other survivors looking at him - a sheep and a sheepdog.
Over the next few days he found the island had sufficient food and water to survive and was actually idyllic - golden sand, crystal waters, shelter and beautiful sunsets.
Every day the three of them walked around the island together and returned to their shelter.
After a week or so he was restless and began to find the sheep attractive. One night he snuggled up only to find the sheepdog growling and snarling inches from his face so he backed away.
The next day he realises the dog is keeping him away from the sheep.
On the way back he notices a ship aground on the rocks and a survivor swimming to shore.
The survivor walks up and he is looking at the most beautiful woman he's ever set eyes on.
She soon settles into their routine and on the third night he sits closely to her and whispers "I've been here weeks with just the dog and sheep. Do you think you could do something special for me tonight?"
She says "Er, and what would that be?
He says.......
"Would you take my dog for a walk?"
A Welsh man was shipwrecked and washed up on an island. When he came around he saw two other survivors looking at him - a sheep and a sheepdog.
Over the next few days he found the island had sufficient food and water to survive and was actually idyllic - golden sand, crystal waters, shelter and beautiful sunsets.
Every day the three of them walked around the island together and returned to their shelter.
After a week or so he was restless and began to find the sheep attractive. One night he snuggled up only to find the sheepdog growling and snarling inches from his face so he backed away.
The next day he realises the dog is keeping him away from the sheep.
On the way back he notices a ship aground on the rocks and a survivor swimming to shore.
The survivor walks up and he is looking at the most beautiful woman he's ever set eyes on.
She soon settles into their routine and on the third night he sits closely to her and whispers "I've been here weeks with just the dog and sheep. Do you think you could do something special for me tonight?"
She says "Er, and what would that be?
He says.......
"Would you take my dog for a walk?"
Slime
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Well, I've just finished building the ground floor of my new house and it's going very well.
The first floor?
Well, that's another storey.
The first floor?
Well, that's another storey.
Slime
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venger
Well-known member
Sid Rixon IV
Head Pro
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
Sid Rixon IV
Head Pro
"My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals."
Crow
Crow Person
Sid Rixon IV
Head Pro
Ok,
Penguin walks in to a bar and says "Barman, has my brother been in today?"
Barman says "What's he look like?"
Skeleton walks in to a bar and says
"Barman, pint of bitter and a mop please".
Penguin walks in to a bar and says "Barman, has my brother been in today?"
Barman says "What's he look like?"
Skeleton walks in to a bar and says
"Barman, pint of bitter and a mop please".
Oops!
Hacker
Well … 
Voyager EMH
Slipper Wearing Plucker of Pheasants
I showed that to Mrs V and she thought it very funny.
But what reaction did you get from Mrs Crow?
Mel Smooth
Hacker
Crow
Crow Person
A rueful smile, I think...
Mel Smooth
Hacker
Slime
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