Laughter - the best medicine

[Doon frae Troon]

This is a joke thread thread than a Scotland weather report - I don’t get it

Try singing it

 

[Imurg]

 

[bobmac]

Did anyone play''Carrot in a box'' over Christmas?

I'd put a link to some YouTube videos showing how it's played with the late, great Sean Lock and John Richardson but the language is a bit blue in places, but its easy to find.
I'm sure it could be adapted as ''mince pie in a box''
Very funny if a bit tipsy.
You could have several rounds leading up to a grand finale at midnight

 

[Imurg]

 

[Slime]

 

[Deleted member 18645]

 

[Slime]

Mahatma Gandhi was known to frequently walk barefoot and consequently the soles of his feet became thick and very hard. He also was, of course, known to be a man of deep spiritual conviction. He undertook hunger strikes as a political protest and at times was both thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his weird diet, he suffered from bad breath. VERY bad breath.


In other words ....... he was a ...... super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!

 

[Slime]

A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.
He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.
The guy thinks for a moment and says "I want to live forever."

"Sorry" says the genie; "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

"OK then; I want to die after a Labour government balances the budget and eliminates the National Debt."

"You crafty little bugger" says the genie.

 

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[arnieboy]

A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.
He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.
The guy thinks for a moment and says "I want to live forever."

"Sorry" says the genie; "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

"OK then; I want to die after a Labour government balances the budget and eliminates the National Debt."

"You crafty little bugger" says the genie.

This line was used in the pantomime at our local theatre but instead of the labour government it was 'When England win the World Cup '!

 

[BubbaP]

 

[Imurg]

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

 

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[AussieKB]