Laughter - the best medicine

[Deleted member 18645]

I'll give that one about an hour …… but it was damn funny!

 

[Deleted member 18645]

One of my American friends was proudly stating on Facebook how he had just voted in the Presidential elections and all the local positions too that his part of Florida is doing. So I asked him if he had voted to re-elect Goldie Wilson for Mayor as progress was his middle name. To say it went over his head was an under-statement. The thread is developing into legendary status now.

 

[Slime]

MODS : Please feel free to delete if deemed inappropriate.

 

[clubchamp98]

View attachment 33309

Jeez , if only .

 

[bobmac]

Classy Fox news....

 

[Slime]

 

[ADB]

 

[Leftie]

MPs vote to shut the country down the night before Guy Fawkes tries to blow them up.

Coincidence?

 

[Mudball]

The American election system... its a joke. . (does not matter who wins... it is a lovely circus to watch)

 

[Slime]

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to a theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling, and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite sweets, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's going to get it wrong

 

[williamalex1]

Brought a smile to my face anyway

I remember a really funny 1970s outtake from Dixon of Dock Green, when the guy couldn't quite get his only line right . Sounded like got nicked i'm in the nick at dick dock green.

 

[Slime]

 

[Doon frae Troon]

erraperroertherr
ananitherperoertherr

Stanly Baxter 'Glesga as a second language' cracks me up every time.

 

[Deleted member 18645]

I'm giving up drinking till Christmas.

Sorry made a punctuation error there.

I'm giving up. Drinking till Christmas.

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Leftie]

View attachment 33356

Is that why the waiters were throwing plates around the last time I went to a Greek restaurant?

 

[Dellboy]

 

[Deleted member 18645]

Update on the American Presidental election results

Biden - 264
Trump - 214
Blink - 182
Luft Balloons - 99
Sham - 69
Maroon - 5

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Update on the American Presidental election results

Biden - 264
Trump - 214
Blink - 182
Luft Balloons - 99
Sham - 69
Maroon - 5

Fun Boy - 3
U - 2

Can't think of a '1'