Laughter - the best medicine

[Norrin Radd]

me and the wife have been arguing over which is the best vowel.
I won

 

[Norrin Radd]

have you noticed the temptation to sing ,the lion sleeps tonight ,is never more than a whim away.

 

[Norrin Radd]

the italians are going to put a clock in the leaning tower of piza ,
what good is the inclination if you havent got the time

 

[Norrin Radd]

ive often wondered how many countdown contestants it would take to change a BLHBGTILU

 

[Blue in Munich]

I have a confession

I have been on a Ukrainian dating site
















I now have a chick in Kiev

We need a Groan button.

 

[Norrin Radd]

I ordered some pills for my premature ejaculation last month ,
still havent come

 

[Blue in Munich]

The Government in Egypt has instructed the city's taxi drivers to drive round Cairo sounding their horns. It's hoped that a familiar sound will ease panic following the pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n' calm 'em will initially last for a week.

 

[NearHull]

i have decided that all my jokes from now on will be written in capitals
this one was written in London.

That is quite funny - my daughter would say “a typical Dad joke”

 

[bobmac]

We need a Groan button.

 

[bobmac]

“I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.

 

[bobmac]

 

[Doon frae Troon]

I ordered some pills for my premature ejaculation last month ,
still havent come

Probably got delayed in transit and got stuck in the tube.

 

[Orikoru]

I was going to say about 80% of the posts in this thread must have been lifted from Tim Vine or Stewart Francis.

 

[Slab]

I was going to say about 80% of the posts in this thread must have been lifted from Tim Vine or Stewart Francis.

Had to stop that vid after 1:41, fearing for my sanity

Here’s one for you… there was three mods logged in earlier and this thread still didn’t get locked! They just don't care

 

[Deleted member 18645]

I've been trying ever since the lockdown to get an appointment with a chiropodist. At last I've go a foot in the door.

 

[Deleted member 18645]

I just had a knock on the door and it was a little guy about three feet three inches tall.

He said he was the metre man.

 

[backwoodsman]

What is the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

Heaven knows, I'm not a snob, ask anybody.



Anybody who matters, that is.

 

[Dando]

On Saturday cake decorators are holding a protest in London

Hundreds and thousands are expected