Laughter - the best medicine

[ColchesterFC]

Tesco are selling a book of 1000 raffle tickets for £2-50. This seems a bit of a bargain as I normally have to pay £1 per strip.

 

[Dando]

Tesco are selling a book of 1000 raffle tickets for £2-50. This seems a bit of a bargain as I normally have to pay £1 per strip.

Have you stolen all @Leftie “jokes”

 

[Pants]

Have you stolen all @Leftie “jokes”

He must have done. I don't think Leftie has posted any for quite a while now.

 

[Slime]

 

[Deleted member 15344]

The 10 Best Caddy Replies

# 10 -- Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

# 9 -- Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

# 8 -- Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

# 7 -- Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually."

# 6 -- Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

# 5 -- Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of A distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

# 4 -- Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."

# 3 -- Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

# 2 -- Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

# 1 -- Best Caddy Comment Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

 

[bobmac]

 

[Dando]

Nobody about this morning when i took the dog out at 6.30, but I did see an apple pie, an ice cream sundae and a slice of cheesecake.
The streets were strangely desserted.

 

[Pathetic Shark]

I was winning a horse race the other day when someone in the crowd threw some sandwiches, a jar of pickled onions and a bottle of wine at me.
Apparently I lost because I was badly hampered.

 

[clubchamp98]

View attachment 34408

If only that was allowed!

 

[SatchFan]

 

[Italian outcast]

 

[SatchFan]

 

[Pants]

When I answered the door this morning, on the doorstep was a huge beetle who smacked me round the face and punched me in the stomach. There’s a very nasty bug going round…

 

[PhilTheFragger]

The Tattoo parlour in town is offering free Tattoos for topless women..... It’s a Tit for Tat offer.

not sure whether to delete this because
a) it’s a crap joke
B) it’s sexist
C it’s a crap joke

What do you think?

 

[JollyRedDevil]

not sure whether to delete this because
a) it’s a crap joke
B) it’s sexist
C it’s a crap joke

What do you think?

Really crap jokes, some of these.

 

[Fade and Die]

not sure whether to delete this because
a) it’s a crap joke
B) it’s sexist
C it’s a crap joke

What do you think?

?‍

 

[Slime]

 

[fundy]

not sure whether to delete this because
a) it’s a crap joke
B) it’s sexist
C it’s a crap joke

What do you think?

well if its a or c you better delete the majority of the thread

 

[SatchFan]

If only there was an easier way.

 

[Dando]