Laughter - the best medicine

[Slime]

A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Sarah, soon we will be married 20 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 20 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Sarah replied, "Well, James I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 20 years, but always for a good reason.

James was obviously hurt by his wife's confession but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"

Sarah said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage.

Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

James recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"

Sarah asked, "And do you remember when you had the accident with the penis vacuum pump, but we didn't have the money to pay for the penis reconstruction surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."

"I recall that," said James. "And you did it to save our marriage, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."


"Alright," Sarah said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 97 more votes?"

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Sarah, soon we will be married 20 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 20 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Sarah replied, "Well, James I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 20 years, but always for a good reason.

James was obviously hurt by his wife's confession but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"

Sarah said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage.

Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

James recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"

Sarah asked, "And do you remember when you had the accident with the penis vacuum pump, but we didn't have the money to pay for the penis reconstruction surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."

"I recall that," said James. "And you did it to save our marriage, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."


"Alright," Sarah said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 97 more votes?"

The old ones are the best but it's a cracker.
It's the way ya tell 'em!

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

I just posted this on the TV thread - what are you watching but it's just as at home here.

An old episode of One Foot in the Grave.
Victor is having his privates shaved by a male nurse with a cut throat razor in preparation for an op.
Nurse, shaving away:
"Amazing times we live in. A man on the moon!"
Victor: "Yes"
Nurse: "House prices are ridiculous"
Victor: "Where?"
Nurse: still shaving away, "On the moon. I got one. 30,000 lunar pounds".
Realisation dawns on Victor....
Enter three nurses : "Mr (), please put the razor down.... it's time to go home.
Cue Victor's face
Ends with Victor's wife saying to him "Well, that was a close shave" Boom boom!
Decades ago and I laughed aloud so many times