Laughter - the best medicine

[rulefan]

Eileen and her husband Doug went for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her and began kissed her passionately as her
husband Doug watched with a raised eyebrow!
Eileen shut up, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of what had just transpired.
The therapist turned to Doug and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week... Can you do this?"
Doug thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf."

 

[ColchesterFC]

 

[Imurg]

 

[Slime]

 

[Dando]

 

[Imurg]

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Me without my specs in the supermarket.........Ox Fat Yogurt
Closer look....0% Fat Yogurt.

 

[rulefan]

A priest who is also a mad keen golfer is desperate to get a game in after a long snowed in winter. The weather finally clears and the conditions are fine enough to get out for a game, but the only available time was an early Sunday morning clashing with his Sunday Mass duties.

He tells a huge white lie to the Nuns that he's sick and bed ridden then sneaks out for his early morning round.
St Peter notices the priest getting ready to tee off, and being a Sunday he reports it to God as the Priest should be taking Mass. "Leave it to me" God says disappointed with the Priest's actions.

With that, the Priest hits the ball for an incredible 330+ yard drive and lands beautifully on the green with just enough roll for the perfect hole in one!!

"I don't get it?" St Peter comments to God, "One of you servants has just deserted his flock on the Holy Day and you reward him?'
God simply replies "Leave it to me"

The Priest tees off again, this time scoring an amazing eagle on one of the most difficult holes on the course. Again St Peter questions Gods judgment. The Priests incredible round ends with an incredible seven holes in one, multiple Eagles and Birdies easily smashing the course record.

St Peter totally bewildered has to ask God one last time "Why did you reward him even though he broke his vow to serve you? What sort of punishment is that"

God simply replies "Who's he going to tell?"

 

[Slime]

A man was admitted to hospital today with 20 plastic toy horses inserted into his rectum!


Doctors have described his condition as stable.

 

[Slime]

 

[Hobbit]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1705677822302323134

 

[rulefan]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

 

[Slime]

 

[Dando]

 

[Deleted member 1147]

 

[bobmac]

When my mother was 68 she decided to walk 10 miles every day.
She's now 92 and we have no idea where she is

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[rulefan]

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The
class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women
how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give
the necessary assurance and support to their partners at this
stage of the pregnancy.

She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic
muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take
several steps and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

She looked at the men in the room, "… and Gentlemen, remember,
you're in this together -- It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this
information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes", said the Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a
golf bag while we walk?"