Laughter - the best medicine

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Dando]

 

[ColchesterFC]

What do you call a girl with no arms on a swing?

Sarah.



Knock knock.

Who's there?

Well it's not Sarah.

 

[ColchesterFC]

Why do Elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.



What's the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries.

 

[ColchesterFC]

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?



Look for the fresh prints.

 

[Smiffy]

 

[Mudball]

 

[Mudball]

The latest video on the queues at Dover by The Exploding Heads is funny..

obviously cant post the link.

 

[Dando]

Haha?

I phoned Heart FM today, to enter their mystery prize competition.
The presenter answered and said, "Congratulations” on being our first caller, all you need to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our Mystery Grand Star Prize"..
"That Fantastic!" I called out in delight.
"Feel Confident?" The presenter asked,
"It's a Geography Question."
"Well, I've got a degree in Geography from Oxford University," I proudly replied, "and I've taught Geography to A level students for the last 20 years"
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 VIP tickets to a Manchester United game and to meet the players after the game, what is the capital of France?"
"Bradford", I replied.

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Haha?

I phoned Heart FM today, to enter their mystery prize competition.
The presenter answered and said, "Congratulations” on being our first caller, all you need to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our Mystery Grand Star Prize"..
"That Fantastic!" I called out in delight.
"Feel Confident?" The presenter asked,
"It's a Geography Question."
"Well, I've got a degree in Geography from Oxford University," I proudly replied, "and I've taught Geography to A level students for the last 20 years"
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 VIP tickets to a Manchester United game and to meet the players after the game, what is the capital of France?"
"Bradford", I replied.

Second prize was 4 VIP tickets.

 

[Dando]

During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.

I described a typical day: “Yesterday afternoon, I took a five-hour walk about seven miles along some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles.”

I continued, “I got sand in my shoes and in my eyes. I almost stepped on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills, and I even took a few ‘leaks’ behind some trees. The mental stress of it all left me so shattered, I drank eight beers when I was finished.”

Inspired by the story, the doctor exclaimed, “You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!”

“No,” I replied, “I’m just a bad golfer.”

 

[Pants]

 

[jim8flog]

 

[jim8flog]

Haha?

I phoned Heart FM today, to enter their mystery prize competition.
The presenter answered and said, "Congratulations” on being our first caller, all you need to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our Mystery Grand Star Prize"..
"That Fantastic!" I called out in delight.
"Feel Confident?" The presenter asked,
"It's a Geography Question."
"Well, I've got a degree in Geography from Oxford University," I proudly replied, "and I've taught Geography to A level students for the last 20 years"
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 VIP tickets to a Manchester United game and to meet the players after the game, what is the capital of France?"
"Bradford", I replied.

and was the reply

" Close enough . What is your address"

 

[srixon 1]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1550522359395778560

 

[CliveW]

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]