3offTheTee
Tour Rookie
Listening to the lady on Good Morning Britain today @7.25. Crucified Piers Morgan. He could not get a word in. Must watch TV; I howled
Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
In Meghan & Harry’s interview, they claimed that a member of the family raised concerns about what colour their unborn child might be.
It’s 2021, people shouldn’t care if a baby is ginger or not.
It’s 2021, people shouldn’t care if a baby is ginger or not.
Slime
Tour Winner
Slime
Tour Winner
I’ve put all my dogging equipment up for sale on eBay.
No bids yet but there’s 15 people watching
No bids yet but there’s 15 people watching
Pathetic Shark
Tour Rookie
There are some epic Royal Family memes out there this morning - most of which I could not re-post here. But the one involving the Queen with a paint colour chart caused me to spit my tea all over my desk.
that made me chuckle as well
Slime
Tour Winner
Bert, at 85 years of age, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them.
He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs.
Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?
Margaret at age 83 looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes.
Again, he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.
Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied..
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!"
Without missing a beat Margaret replies,
"You shoulda bought a new hat."
He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs.
Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?
Margaret at age 83 looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes.
Again, he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.
Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied..
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!"
Without missing a beat Margaret replies,
"You shoulda bought a new hat."
Slime
Tour Winner
Slime
Tour Winner
toyboy54
Challenge Tour Pro
Keep going Slime..you're cracking me up with most of these(even SWMBO cracks the make-up)
Jimbo
Jimbo
ADB
Journeyman Pro
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
That's where he's been hiding....
Does anyone know how to cancel an eBay bid...I bid £2 on a cowboy outfit and I’m 2 hours away from owning west ham United
SatchFan
Q-School Graduate
Slime
Tour Winner
YandaB
Newbie
A lawyer on an aeroplane
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a flight from London To New York. The lawyer decides to pass the time by asking her if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists. He explains how the game works. "I ask you a Question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and vice-versa". Again, the blonde politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer. "If you don't know the answer, you pay me only £5, but if I don't know the answer, I agree to pay you £500".
The blonde figures there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, so she agrees. The lawyer asks, "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?". The blonde reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five pound note, and hands it to the lawyer. Then she asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?".
The lawyer is puzzled. He uses his laptop to search for references. He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Net using all the usual search engines. Frustrated, he sends emails to his coworkers and friends. No luck. After an hour, he finally gives up. Meanwhile, the blonde has gone on to take a nap.
He wakes the blonde and hands her £500. The blonde politely takes the £500 and turns away to get back to her sleep. The lawyer, who is going crazy trying to figure out the answer, addresses the blonde before she can go to sleep, and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?". The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer £5, and goes back to sleep.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a flight from London To New York. The lawyer decides to pass the time by asking her if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists. He explains how the game works. "I ask you a Question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and vice-versa". Again, the blonde politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer. "If you don't know the answer, you pay me only £5, but if I don't know the answer, I agree to pay you £500".
The blonde figures there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, so she agrees. The lawyer asks, "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?". The blonde reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five pound note, and hands it to the lawyer. Then she asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?".
The lawyer is puzzled. He uses his laptop to search for references. He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Net using all the usual search engines. Frustrated, he sends emails to his coworkers and friends. No luck. After an hour, he finally gives up. Meanwhile, the blonde has gone on to take a nap.
He wakes the blonde and hands her £500. The blonde politely takes the £500 and turns away to get back to her sleep. The lawyer, who is going crazy trying to figure out the answer, addresses the blonde before she can go to sleep, and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?". The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer £5, and goes back to sleep.
Slime
Tour Winner
I've certainly had cars that this applies to!!
