Have I ever mentioned how thick some people are??????

[Smiffy]

Just picked up the phone at work...
"Can I speak to the parts department please?" he says.
I try to put the call through, all lines busy.
"Sorry Sir, they are all busy in parts, can I get somebody to call you back?" asks I.
"Well maybe you could help" he says...."I've just got a touch up kit for my car, and it came with two bottles. One is the paint, the other one is the lacquer. Do I put the paint on first or the lacquer?"

 

[Scottjd1]

So.... Did you manage to find someone who could help him??

 

[bobmac]

I doubt if anyone can help you here Smiffy.
Why not look for yourself, try the car forums.

Jeeez some people are soooooooo lazy

 

[bladeplayer]

tel him to mix it then put it on with the shiney side out mate .. does he know how to work the cd player tho ??

 

[DappaDonDave]

What kind of company supplies a touch up kit without instructions?...

 

[AuburnWarrior]

I used to work at Sainsburys as a trolley wally. I worked there in the days when they had the lovely brown uniform.
I also had a badge which had Sainsburys written on it.
I also had a huge great line of trolleys that I was pushing back to the front of the store.

On an almost hourly basis I got: "Sorry mate, do you work here?"

I gave a variety of responses... :rofl:

 

[AuburnWarrior]

I also used to work for Nationwide BS. Dealing with people's money highlights that 99.999% of the population are worryingly stupid and must struggle with daily life.

I had one customer who asked for £20. I scanned his card and the computer showed his balance as less than £10.
"I'm sorry Sir, you have insufficient funds for that transaction." says I.
"Why's that?" he asks.
"You've spent all your money, Sir"
"What on?" the social incompetent enquires.
"Unfortunatly you've withdrawn all your money in cash and not used your debit card so I'm unable to tell where you've spent your money."
"Can't you trace it?"
"Sorry?" I ask - open mouthed...
"Well, all the bank notes have got serial numbers on them - can't you trace them and see where I spent them?"

I had a number of retorts lined up but opted for "erm, no Sir, I can't."

I was going to say "Oh yes, hang on, it shows that on Friday night you took out £100. It also shows that you bought the first round in the Brewer's droop - you had a Fosters, your mate Bomber had a Stella and your mate Henry (that you're all not sure about) had a Southern Comfort and lemonade. You didn't spend any more money until 8:45 when you got the next round in which, I believe, was the same. You're obviously a bit tight because you didn't buy another drink all night! It then shows that you bought a kebab from Papillon - that cost £4.50. You then bought a round in 'For your eyes only' which was £25 so I'm guessing you spent the rest on Flexi Lexi! Is that OK, Sir?"

If you're unsure of the populations general stupidity, just watch the Jeremy Kyle Show. :lol:

 

[mouth]

I make no secret of the fact that I'm a bus driver. I also regularly (every 20 minutes or so) get questions such as "do you go into town...." or "is this the number 9?". My whole point is that it does indeed state this information in 12" high letters on the front of the bloody bus.

 

[AuburnWarrior]

I make no secret of the fact that I'm a bus driver. I also regularly (every 20 minutes or so) get questions such as "do you go into town...." or "is this the number 9?". My whole point is that it does indeed state this information in 12" high letters on the front of the bloody bus.

They might be blind?

 

[mouth]

They might be blind?

I'm referring to the people who obviously aren't visually impaired (ie they don't have an assistance dog or a white cane). It is more plausible that they can't read but even then sometimes it's people who then sit reading a newspaper or book on the journey.

 

[CMAC]

The suspense is killing me so whats the answer

paint on first or the lacquer?



I had a GF once that asked if the sun was cooling down when it was a red sunset






















​

 

[Mark_G]

I googled it and found you need to put the paint in a tray and apply the paint with a roller, theres no mention of lacquer, I think that was a red herring to see who spotted it.

 

[stevie_r]

if you want to meet a high number of dim-wits try working as a sky tv installer for a while!!!

'why does there have to be a cable from the dish? I don't like the look of it'

Oh, you'll also meet a fair few people who whilst they are happy to spend £50 a month on a sky subscription are clearly not prepared to spend anything at all on household cleaning products.

 

[JustOne]

I did take a DVD out of the player when we first got one and the missus engaged mouth before brain with... "Aren't you going to rewind it?"

 

[Evesdad]

I worked in transport shipping stuff to Ireland and was asked at 10 o'clock in the morning why a 24hr shipment had not arrived at the delivery point yet. After checking the details told the customer that we had only collected the goods yesterday and that delivery would be made today. Their response was that this was not good enough as we had collected at 9 o'clock the day before and so should be delivered already!! It's only in another country etc!! shocking.

 

[NWJocko]

When I was a kid I was walking out of the house with my golf clubs.

My mum says to me "What are you off to do son"!!!!????

Fishing mum, what the (*&* does it look like!?

 

[DappaDonDave]

My wife's family are all Chinese, she's half Chinese.

At our wedding my brother in laws girlfriend was being introduced to his family for the first time. When she was introduced to uncle John (small Chinese man) and his wife. She asked my brother in law later which was he related to.

Now seeing as though all the Chinese people at my wedding were from his relatives, we all thought she'd of guessed who was his uncle by marriage or my by family!

 

[Chesster]

My wife's family are all Chinese, she's half Chinese.

At our wedding my brother in laws girlfriend was being introduced to his family for the first time. When she was introduced to uncle John (small Chinese man) and his wife. She asked my brother in law later which was he related to.

Now seeing as though all the Chinese people at my wedding were from his relatives, we all thought she'd of guessed who was his uncle by marriage or my by family!

"we all thought she'd HAVE guessed who was his uncle by marriage or my by family"

Now who's the thick one?

 

[bigslice]

if you want to meet a high number of dim-wits try working as a sky tv installer for a while!!!

'why does there have to be a cable from the dish? I don't like the look of it'

Oh, you'll also meet a fair few people who whilst they are happy to spend £50 a month on a sky subscription are clearly not prepared to spend anything at all on household cleaning products.

lol lol, im a plumber come gas fitter, cookers!!!!!!!! ma hob wont work i can be there in 15 mins its 45/hour, get there im sorry you need to clean your house thats 45 see ya manky bas

 

[DappaDonDave]

"we all thought she'd HAVE guessed who was his uncle by marriage or my by family"

Now who's the thick one?

Well you're the one with a handicap not me so I'd say you sir...

Darn me and my text talk. I'm sure she'd is not correct grammar either.