Golf - The unwritten rules....

[sev112]

You are always the only person in the massive field that had 3 blobs, and if you hadn't you would have won

 

[bluewolf]

When the missus drags you to Ikea you are secretly excited about all the free pencils for your golf.

Lol, this is the only reason I let her take me to IKEA.. Nonchalantly wandering round, whilst secretly picking up 3-4 pencils from every dispenser.. All this whilst the Missus looks on like you're stealing the Crown Jewels...

 

[williamalex1]

Lol, this is the only reason I let her take me to IKEA.. Nonchalantly wandering round, whilst secretly picking up 3-4 pencils from every dispenser.. All this whilst the Missus looks on like you're stealing the Crown Jewels...

Screwfix :thup:.

 

[UlyssesSky]

No idea if this has been posted yet sorry.

A provisional ball will always fly straight and true.

This is actually more complicated:

a) If a provisional ball goes straight and long right onto the fairway, the original ball will be found in the most horrendous lie so the provisional has to be abandoned.

b) If the provisional does not fly as described above but ends up in the rough/OOB/behind a tree, you don't even have to start looking for the original as it will surely be lost and the provisional becomes the ball in play.

 

[Astraeus]

You shall always knock in a nonchalant putt with your putter's back after missing a similar distance, lined up putt.

 

[MashieNiblick]

Nice thread.

Here's a couple which I don't think have been mentioned

If you retire a scruffy ball mid round you will lose the brand new replacement on the next hole.

You will hit your worst shot of the day after being called through.

 

[KenL]

When deciding to hole out rather than marking someone must tell you to "take your time".

After being told to "take your time", you must miss your tap in!

A missed short putt if not caused by the above situation is due to a crowned hole.

In a bunker your ball must go into a footprint left by some other inconsiderate git.

 

[Crow]

Any player who doesn't use a tee on a par three must make a big thing of throwing his ball down in order to ensure that all PPs are aware of the fact.

 

[GG26]

When entering the 2s pot in a competition, you are three of the tee on most par 3s.

When it starts to rain you realise that you left your macwets at home

When playing a new course without a GPS every hole seems nearer than it actually is

 

[Ian_S]

Wind will only affect ball flight when you forget to take it into account.

No amount of wind will bring your ball back if you deliberately start it out left.

 

[williamalex1]

Nice thread.

Here's a couple which I don't think have been mentioned

If you retire a scruffy ball mid round you will lose the brand new replacement on the next hole.

You will hit your worst shot of the day after being called through.

Sods law i fear.

 

[PhilTheFragger]

The Highest Handicapper always keeps the group scorecard

You are obliged to say " Nobody Likes To See That" at least once each round

 

[Blue in Munich]

No matter the size of the locker room, if there are only 2 golfers in it, their clothing/bags will be in adjacent lockers/spaces.

 

[williamalex1]

Whistle the dam busters tune when some poor souls ball goes in the water.

 

[jdpjamesp]

"The friendliest club in xxx" is a lie.

 

[MadAdey]

If you join the senior roll up for a knock there will always be the same players............

the one that calls in the bakery for sausage rolls and has a small feast inside his bag

the one that has the hard boiled sweets

and the one that has a hip flask with something 'a little special' in it

 

[williamalex1]

If you join the senior roll up for a knock there will always be the same players............

the one that calls in the bakery for sausage rolls and has a small feast inside his bag

the one that has the hard boiled sweets

and the one that has a hip flask with something 'a little special' in it

Brilliant , but you missed the dodgy handicaps, and the wee smell.

 

[ColchesterFC]

If a fellow golfer hits one fat from the middle of the fairway one member of the group is obliged to say "well out"

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Someone will say "unlucky" as you launch it into a different post code and time zone.
It's always a "tough lie" when you nobble it three foot in the rough.
Someone must always forget to sign into PSI/pick up their scorecard/have a pencil

 

[AMcC]

One must use a discarded broken tee on each Par 3. But only after throwing grass in the air to check wind speed/direction.

You also must rake the tee bin for said broken tee