Golf - The unwritten rules....

[Swingalot]

Your best round of the season will then be followed with your worse round and you will then be stuck in a rut of poor golf for the foreseeable future.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

after hitting a hook/slice tee shot you must exclaim to all and sundry that 'I just don't play that shot' - having hit the same tee shot on the previous 5 holes.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

The player whose honour it is on the tee is that player most unprepared to play

 

[bladeplayer]

The extreme furthest you have ever hit any club, even down wind on concrete hard fairways is now your average ..

You must tell your PP regularly about the day you played a certain hole in a good way , even if it was once 8 yr ago & youve scratched it ever since ..


You must admit to never having played this well ever before when you hand some guy his rear end on a plate when your 2 over through 12 off 22 handicap

If you shoot -1 you will be pipped by a cat4 player with Double bogey for 2 Double bogey for 2 ..Double bogey for 2 , par for 5


EDIT . apologies to high handicappers for last 2 , but its often true , esp in our place

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

You must miss the 18"-24" putt every time you do not go through your putting routine even although you will still concentrate on holing it - mandatory.

With the complementary rule being that you will always knock in the 6 footer when it doesn't matter; you can be bothered, and just waft your putter at the ball.

 

[bladeplayer]

the person on the tee with a matching set of shiny clubs, with the matching bag is not a low handicapper.

:rofl::clap:

 

[drewster]

At least once a round someone will say " i'd be a rich man if i could sell provisionall bals" and "does your husband play" when you leave a putt short.

 

[bobmac]

To win on tour, you have to have a beard

 

[Crawfy]

A bowl of chips is also permissible.

Agreed. However Tomato sauce/brown sauce / Mayo application must be negotiated.

 

[ADB]

To win on tour, you have to have a beard

The greens will always be verti-drained and sanded if you have just started to putt well.

 

[Crawfy]

One must use a discarded broken tee on each Par 3. But only after throwing grass in the air to check wind speed/direction.

 

[MadAdey]

When you've hit a shot that is clearly 20 yards into a lake, you still go and look on the off chance of finding it.

 

[MadAdey]

If you play a PROV1, then you can guarantee to find a TOP FLITE when searching for your ball.

The same applies, but vice versa for the TOP FLITE player.

 

[jamielaing]

On a reachable par 4 you should let all your playing partners play before you announcing you are going for the green. Wait 5 minutes for the green to clear then snap hook it into the trees.

 

[ADB]

If someone asks you how you played, they weren't asking for a hole-by-hole recap of your round

 

[Crawfy]

Even from the rough, every approach shot distance must equate to the best ever shot you have hit with that club from a perfect lie on the driving range.

 

[williamalex1]

You must always say hard luck to your FC when his ball horseshoes out for a half , while laughing like Muttley under your breath.:smirk:

 

[bobmac]

If you miss a putt, you must immediately tap down the invisible spike mark that your ball didn't hit.

 

[jamielaing]

Every par 72 course you will ever come across is a 'true test of golf'

When playing a famous or prestigious course the starter will ask you to help yourself to what you will need for your round from the box provided. You should take no less than 50 pencils, 100 tees and try and get 20 pitch repairers.

When the missus drags you to Ikea you are secretly excited about all the free pencils for your golf.

 

[virtuocity]

The highest handicapper MUST tee off first.