Golf - The unwritten rules....

[Marshy77]

When playing poorly try changing your ball - that is probably the problem.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

If you use Lake Balls but decide to use a genuinely new and expensive ball for a change and a treat then you will lose that ball on the first hole of use so realising why you used Lake Balls in the first place.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Ill start off:

1. Your Club web page must describe your course as a "hidden gem".

2. The only food allowed before golf is a "bacon bap on arrival".

3. Every time someone gets out of a bunker you must shout "well out".

4. When practicing putting you must use three balls, no other number is permitted.

1. Yup
2. 'Bap' is a horrid word
3. They don't for my pathetic efforts - more likely to say 'never mind'
4. I use one - occasionally two if I am feeling enthusiastic

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Aren't you supposed to stand in a certain place while someone addresses the ball and plays their shot

Yes - at the HNSP whenever and whenever possible

 

[Fyldewhite]

Even on the hottest day of the year, a red hot bowl of Tomato and Basil soup will be on the lunch menu of every 27 hole society day.

 

[Doh]

You must be playing rubbish to book a lesson.

 

[Crawfy]

A post game bag of crisps must be opened laid out on the table and shared 'buffet' style with your playing partners...with the words "Help yourself"

 

[StrangelyBrown]

A post game bag of crisps must be opened laid out on the table and shared 'buffet' style with your playing partners...with the words "Help yourself"

A bowl of chips is also permissible.

 

[Jimaroid]

It is impossible to fat or thin a tight lie in a practice swing. Your subsequent shot will be fat or thin irrespective of how many practice swings you take.

When at the teeing ground and observing a player's ball fall from a tee, you must declare "One!" as if you are the first person on Earth to have conceived such merriment.

 

[jdpjamesp]

No idea if this has been posted yet sorry.

A provisional ball will always fly straight and true.

 

[bobmac]

Any changes I make to a pupils swing only lasts 3 holes

 

[Duckster]

No idea if this has been posted yet sorry.

A provisional ball will always fly straight and true.

Once it has flown straight and true you will guarantee that you'll find your original ball. And boy it won't be sitting pretty, normally behind a tree.

 

[Spear-Chucker]

Explaining you are a golfer to the uninitiated always results in the question "have you ever had a hole in one?"

 

[bobmac]

Tree trunks are not 90% air

 

[Lord Tyrion]

1. Yup
2. 'Bap' is a horrid word
3. They don't for my pathetic efforts - more likely to say 'never mind'
4. I use one - occasionally two if I am feeling enthusiastic

You, sir are breaking some of the unwritten rules. Shame on you.

 

[daymond]

All courses are a CAMPIONSHIP COURSE.

 

[Break90]

The quickest way to stop a rain shower mid-round is to put your waterproofs on.

The quickest way to ensure said shower sticks around is to not put your waterproofs on.

 

[MadAdey]

the person on the tee with a matching set of shiny clubs, with the matching bag is not a low handicapper.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

You must miss the 18"-24" putt every time you do not go through your putting routine even although you will still concentrate on holing it - mandatory.

 

[hovis]

When a player knocks his ball off the tee a member of the group must say "ONE"