Golf is very similar to my first relationship.

[Bamberdele21]

Last few rounds I’ve gone from hero to zero. Shot 83 a week ago to just being mid 90’s the last few rounds. It’s demoralising. Almost as if this honeymoon period has come to a sudden crash. The high I hit at the start of last week was on par with losing my virginity. I now feel as tho I can’t function without the help of those little blue Pfizer pills. It’s almost as if I’m going through a heart break and all I want is for us to get back to how we used to be.

With my first relationship I was blinded by love and lust. I had blinkers on. It had serious flaws but I just couldn’t pull away and the power of that p*ssy was just too much to resist so I kept coming back for more. Bit like golf.

Now I think I need a break. I’ve been playing a lot. My best rounds came when I was ‘zoned’ in and had an ‘easy’ day at life. My worst rounds seemed to have come when I’m tired and not really in the mood.

Winter feels like it’s fast approaching. Maybe it’s the weather changes and the shorter cooler nights. I’m struggling to find my balls in the leaves. I’m not enjoying it. Saying that I’m currently scanning the weather forecasts looking to go again. I’m off tomorrow at 15.16. The power of that p*ssy is just too good to say no right now. Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading

 

[Miller]

My balls end up in the rough most of the time.

 

[evemccc]

Never stop posting

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Golf is like a capricious lover - but we stick with that lover…often for too long

 

[garyinderry]

Never stop posting

Hahaha

 

[Voyager EMH]

The golf bug.
You've got a severe case my son.
We all understand it on here.
You're one of us now.
Complete loony at times.
Hooked for life.
There's no turning back.
Complete abstinence is not even a cure.

Learn to live with it.

 

[Bdill93]

The golf bug.
You've got a severe case my son.
We all understand it on here.
You're one of us now.
Complete loony at times.
Hooked for life.
There's no turning back.
Complete abstinence is not even a cure.

Learn to live with it.

Facts.

 

[Voyager EMH]

Nah, quite definitely very opinionated stuff by me this time. A feeble attempt at humour - not to be taken seriously. Many a true word etc... - perhaps?

 

[sunshine]

Tell us more about your first relationship...

Did you play really well on your own but struggle to perform in front of a crowd?
What did your regular partner say when you got 4 mates round for a foursome?
Did you find everything a bit tight at first but then relaxed after a few holes and really enjoyed the back nine?
Did you enjoy watching the pros on tv late at night? They make it look so easy don't they, but when you try and copy them it never works.
Did you ask complete strangers on the internet for advice on how to improve your technique, what specialist equipment to buy, and how much to pay for new experiences?

 

[Orikoru]

I've often thought golf is like an abusive spouse. You get knocked about and spat upon every week, but you only remember the good times, and the promise that it will be good again so you keep going back for more.

 

[Deleted member 1147]

Are the shanks the golfing equivalent of the clap?

 

[Deleted member 3432]

Are the shanks the golfing equivalent of the clap?

Clap is treatable, shanks can be terminal....

 

[HeftyHacker]

Are the shanks the golfing equivalent of the clap?

Herpes... life is great when its not flared up. A bloody nightmare when they are though... much like the shanks!

 

[SaintHacker]

Are the shanks the golfing equivalent of the clap?

Most of us would probably choose the clap...

 

[SaintHacker]

I've often thought golf is like an abusive spouse. You get knocked about and spat upon every week, but you only remember the good times, and the promise that it will be good again so you keep going back for more.

Are you actually comparing golf to domestic violence? Dear God...

 

[Bamberdele21]

3 putts + : Gonorrhoea

In the drink : Syphilis

Heavy downpour mid round: Hepatitis

A great shot followed by the ball disappearing into thin air and never to be found: HIV

Someone picking up your ball: Full blown AIDS

Shooting 20+ strokes over your best: This is that woman you thought loved you but really only wanted you for your money. She gave you all of the above.

Tell us more about your first relationship...

Did you play really well on your own but struggle to perform in front of a crowd?
What did your regular partner say when you got 4 mates round for a foursome?
Did you find everything a bit tight at first but then relaxed after a few holes and really enjoyed the back nine?
Did you enjoy watching the pros on tv late at night? They make it look so easy don't they, but when you try and copy them it never works.
Did you ask complete strangers on the internet for advice on how to improve your technique, what specialist equipment to buy, and how much to pay for new experiences?

Excellent sir

I've often thought golf is like an abusive spouse. You get knocked about and spat upon every week, but you only remember the good times, and the promise that it will be good again so you keep going back for more.

?

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Clap is treatable, shanks can be terminal....

Though with the shanks you can press the reset button and start again…

 

[Jimaroid]

Wow this thread is misogyny personified.

 

[essexguy194]

Did Donald Trump write this?