Your favourite golfing story

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Mr_T

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What is everyones favourite or best golfing story?

For me it has to a lunch break last year. A load of us lads were having a kickabout in our lunchbreak and our ball landed in a skip, as we got it out we noticed a properly ancient set of golf clubs in there (the woods were wooden) so anyway a few of us picked up a club each and found some golf balls, a mate of mine picked up a 6 iron and hit an absolute beauty, like seriously a superb shot, as we all cheered and laughed to our horror we noticed the ball on target for our headteacher who had just walked round the corner, it missed, quite how i dont know, but it gave him one hell of a fright. Suprisingly my mate only got a weeks detention considering he very nearly killed the headteacher... anyway over to you guys :)
 
Coming out of a clubhouse in the pitch black, walking along chatting with my rather snobby (but drunk) mate... (think Snelly ;)) and I'd finished what I was saying and he'd gone, completely disappeared!

I back tracked in the dark and saw him... he'd fallen off a bridge!

He was lying flat on his back 10ft down in the muddiest crap you've ever seen in your life... it was so hilarious I let out wee :p

He was amazingly lucky that he didn't land on something more sinister.
 
I've been playing a year and no really got many. Both involve my colleague Anthony.

First - playing garstang gc, my mate Anthony is having a bit of a dodgy opening 9. The tenth is a long par 4 with a small bunker off to the right of the fairway where you shouldn't really be aimingd anyway. He drives it into that bunker off the tee! He then drills it out of the bunker straight onto the green!! Leaving myself and our playing partner gob smacked with still 30 yards to go after our second shot!

Next, playing poulton le fylde gc, Anthony hooks his first drive into rough about 100 yards off the tee, he hits it out of the rough, and 100 yards short of the hole. He then creams his next shot onto the hard green and we don't see it bounce...as we approach, it's not there...it's gone straight into the hole and wedged itself between the flag!
 
I guess not the funniest to write about but bloody priceless to see in the flesh. Watched someone fall backwards into a bunker while lining up a putt.

JJF69 shanking two ob on the first at Boat of Garten! That was priceless.
 
Some years ago we supplied mobile terminals and Wireless Network to the European Tour. I spent some weekends supporting the equipment so got to see some golf up and down the country, Ireland too.

I remember travelling once to Jerez, Spain for the Volvo masters and a friend travelled out with me. He wasnt interested in the golf just getting away for a bit , for drink and a laugh. I was working at the course in the day so we did our own thing and went out on the town at night.

Anyway, we went to this club/hotel with a difference , better described as a brothel :o called Hotel Fahi or something like it. We had a good time and the next morning I went to the course early and my mate remained in the place we were staying. I called him sometime later that morning from the course but the phone did not answer, it rang out and eventually went to voicemail. I left a message that went something along the lines of "Alright mate we had a good night last night hope all is OK , bring your money we'll have another good one tonight".

He called me soon after going off a bit, "what did you say on my voicemail?" I asked why did you not listen to it? "no" he replied "wife just called me from home going and she's going into one". Apparently his mobile diverted to his HOME number!

Luckily we managed to bluff our way out of it but let me tell you, the message I left for my mate could have been a hell of a lot worse - good job I didnt go into any details or that would of been that.

They are divorced now but I dont think that was anything to do with my gaff!!
 
sawtooth said:
He called me soon after going off a bit, "what did you say on my voicemail?" I asked why did you not listen to it? "no" he replied "wife just called me from home going and she's going into one". Apparently his mobile diverted to his HOME number!

Luckily we managed to bluff our way out of it but let me tell you, the message I left for my mate could have been a hell of a lot worse - good job I didnt go into any details or that would of been that.

They are divorced now but I dont think that was anything to do with my gaff!!
Click to expand...

LOL! that would have been a nasty one to have on your conscience!
 
Playing in the 3rd round of a comp up in Scotland I'm 2pts behind the leader as we both tee off on the par 5 16th. He hits relatively short down the middle but I stick mine down the right, about 4" from a dry stone wall running parallel with the hole. Do I knock it out into the middle about wedge distance from the green or do I pull out the 5 wood and go for the green? Go on you big girl, go for it!

I make solid contact with the ball, and as my head comes up SMACK, it hits me just above the right eye. The ball bounces off my head OOB, and I spend 5 mins talking to the pixies. When I come round I drop a ball and finish the round, badly.

I finish the round with the mother and father of all headaches, and go into the bar for a beer. Two steps into the bar I pass out and face plant the floor. An ambulance is called and I get put in the back BUT the ambulance won't start. As there's only one ambulance on the island its a call to the local Police and the stretcher ends up in the back of a meat wagon for the trip down to the hospital. Hospital in this case turns out to be about the size of a small garden shed, and the Doc is used to dealing with the odd cut and sprain.

The Doc decides this is something he can't deal with and a call is made to the harbour to stop the ferry from sailing till they can get me down there. Queue the repaired ambulance... oh no! I'm in the back of said ambulance in the hospital yard whilst it does the whirrr whirrr noise of a dead ambulance.

And back in the meatwagon and down to the ferry for a trip to the mainland, and onto Glasgow.

After a couple of nights in a proper hospital I make it home but does the week of pain end there? Oh no it doesn't. The following weekend I decide to play, and as I leave the 12th tee there is a shout of FORE from the 11th tee. The ball took one bounce before trapping my right bo!!ock against my thigh, and I go down like I've been hit by a Jap sniper.
 
Par 3 11th tee is directly behind 10th green. Waiting for green to clear, we watched group behind playing approaches to 10th. One of the players is concentrating so hard on his shot that he doesn't notice he's left his electric trolley not quite switched off. We were all in stitches as it slowly disappeared into the woods. The expression on his face when he turned round to put his club away and there was no trolley in sight was priceless.
 
Hobbit said:
After a couple of nights in a proper hospital I make it home but does the week of pain end there? Oh no it doesn't. The following weekend I decide to play, and as I leave the 12th tee there is a shout of FORE from the 11th tee. The ball took one bounce before trapping my right bo!!ock against my thigh, and I go down like I've been hit by a Jap sniper.
Click to expand...

^ This bit made me laugh properly, sorry for your pain :D :D :D
 
Wayman said:
im in absoulute stitches at hobbits story
Click to expand...

You're welcome.

If you get down to Cleveland I might tell you of the time I fell asleep on my motorbike... and the bus load of (disembarking) pensioners I had to avoid when I woke up - queue broken bones.
 
Hobbit said:
Playing in the 3rd round of a comp up in Scotland I'm 2pts behind the leader as we both tee off on the par 5 16th. He hits relatively short down the middle but I stick mine down the right, about 4" from a dry stone wall running parallel with the hole. Do I knock it out into the middle about wedge distance from the green or do I pull out the 5 wood and go for the green? Go on you big girl, go for it!

I make solid contact with the ball, and as my head comes up SMACK, it hits me just above the right eye. The ball bounces off my head OOB, and I spend 5 mins talking to the pixies. When I come round I drop a ball and finish the round, badly.

I finish the round with the mother and father of all headaches, and go into the bar for a beer. Two steps into the bar I pass out and face plant the floor. An ambulance is called and I get put in the back BUT the ambulance won't start. As there's only one ambulance on the island its a call to the local Police and the stretcher ends up in the back of a meat wagon for the trip down to the hospital. Hospital in this case turns out to be about the size of a small garden shed, and the Doc is used to dealing with the odd cut and sprain.

The Doc decides this is something he can't deal with and a call is made to the harbour to stop the ferry from sailing till they can get me down there. Queue the repaired ambulance... oh no! I'm in the back of said ambulance in the hospital yard whilst it does the whirrr whirrr noise of a dead ambulance.

And back in the meatwagon and down to the ferry for a trip to the mainland, and onto Glasgow.

After a couple of nights in a proper hospital I make it home but does the week of pain end there? Oh no it doesn't. The following weekend I decide to play, and as I leave the 12th tee there is a shout of FORE from the 11th tee. The ball took one bounce before trapping my right bo!!ock against my thigh, and I go down like I've been hit by a Jap sniper.
Click to expand...

Where was this?Not Rothesay by any chance?
 
A club that is very very very close to going down the tubes and they have lost their best asset in Mr Dougal.

Really sad state of affairs.
 
Hobbit said:
Bl00dy 'ell Dodger!... That was 1986(?) on Rothesay.

Where you there? Were you one of the IBM crowd up there then?..
Click to expand...

Dodger said:
Played the hole many a time so it fitted the description!

Did you par the last and do I win a special prize?:rofl:
Click to expand...

Scored nowt, Won nowt! But got a 'ell of a welcome the following year - the only time I've had celeb treatment.
 
Not mine but one my Dad told me about that really makes me laugh.

Him and his mate had a 'trial period' at a club before joining back in the days when you only got to use a trolley if you were a full member.

They joined and first game as full members his mate had a spanking new trolley for their first medal they played in.

A crowd watching everyone go off the first so they were a bit nervous but managed to get decent drives away. Happy as Larry they headed off down the fairway - Dad's mate forgetting he had a new trolley picked up his bag (trolley and all) and proceeded off down the fairway with it sticking out from his bag like a dead insect in front of everyone. Dad didn't have the heart to tell him till they reached their balls but there was a bit of wind up going on every time they played after that :)
 
A couple of years ago on our society golf weekend one of our less regular golfers (He only plays a couple of times a year and is known as binary Clive because of his points on each hole :D) gets his ball to the fringe of the tenth green. It's his turn but he is standing looking rather perplexed at his ball. After what seems like a few minutes but was in reality about 30seconds the conversation went something like this...

"Are you gonna play your shot or stand there staring at it."
"I can't, it's on the sprinkler head"
"Well move it then"

This is the best bit, and poor old Clive wasn't joking...

"I can't, it's cemented in"
 
I still love my mate turning a par 3 180 yard uphiller into a 400 + hole and is playing his second 200 yards behind his first shot. He thinned his three ironinto the concrete marker post on the ladies tee box. Straight past us all at head high and travelling fast enough to have probably killed us had it hit and all the way back across the adjacent fairway into the trees on the far side. We told him we could still see it and so he couldn't declare it lost because we just wanted to see him walk all the way over, explaining to the perplexed golfers coming up behind what had happened and watch him play back towards us. It took him four more to get just past the tee box (5 in total) another into a bunker, three to get out but he did hole out for a sand save and a 10. I'm glad I'd gone first and hit the green because my stomach was killing me from laughing so much and I couldn't see the line of the putt because of the tears of laughter
 
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