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What's the worst you have done under the influence?

Was in Spain and took my boss’s Merc and opened it up among traffic, who’d a thunk it I only went and hit another Mercedes!

Managed to shift most of the blame onto the other bloke though :thup:

Always hilarious to take too much drink and then recklessly drive a car causing an accident. Did you consider also running someone over just to put the cherry on it? Maybe you would have got away with that too?

Oops no offense intended. Didn't think anyone was actually talking any of the posts on this thread seriously

Missed the grand prix then did ya! ;)
 
On the subject of jumping into bed when under the influence.....did it on my 30th birthday party(which I think was a really good night) as went out for a meal with the then wife and then back home for a surprise party with all sorts of folk there,anyway lots of lager and a few whiskies were taken,stumbled upstairs to bed .....only problem was the mother-in -law was in it!!!!Had went to toilet and taken wrong turning being slightly disorientated.....Lets just say that she soon woke up.
There was a rather embarrassed silence at breakfast next morning!!!

Jimbo
 
1995, Centenary year at Crowborough Beacon.
Played in a big competition during the week, had arranged for my then missus to come and pick me up at midnight.
Got absolutely legless and went outside to wait for her.
The ladies at the club had made two beautiful flower arrangements in two troughs outside the clubhouse, one said 1895 the other 1995.
I needed to sit down and without thinking plonked myself down right in the middle of 1995 completely wrecking the display.
Unfortunately somebody saw me do it, and I got a right telling off a few days later from the Captain........:o:o:o
 
Me and a friend when we had just turned 18 went out in Manchester.

We got a taxi back knowing we had no money, gave a fake name, fake number the lot.

Planned our escape route running away (another friend had a good garden that backed on to the main road).

Thought we'd gotten away with it the next day until I checked my phone and had 20 odd missed calls - I clearly booked the taxi off my own mobile number and totally forgotten.

Taxi driver demanded triple the pay or he'll report us to the police...
 
Me and a friend when we had just turned 18 went out in Manchester.

We got a taxi back knowing we had no money, gave a fake name, fake number the lot.

Planned our escape route running away (another friend had a good garden that backed on to the main road).

Thought we'd gotten away with it the next day until I checked my phone and had 20 odd missed calls - I clearly booked the taxi off my own mobile number and totally forgotten.

Taxi driver demanded triple the pay or he'll report us to the police...

Two of my mates tried the same, however mate #1 didnt realise that mate #2 had fallen asleep by the time they got to their exit point and just opened the door and legged it leaving his fast asleep in the back!
 
Two of my mates tried the same, however mate #1 didnt realise that mate #2 had fallen asleep by the time they got to their exit point and just opened the door and legged it leaving his fast asleep in the back!

brilliant :rofl:
it's safe to say I wasn't the cleverest drunk 5 years ago.

I'm still not now tbh...
 
My worst experience was when I went out with the wife and some mutual friends. I decided that I would drink red wine instead of beer and thought buying a bottle would be easier as i wouldn't have to keep going to the bar. Drinking at a similar pace to when drinking beer, 3/4's of the bottle was done before wifey had finished her glass of white.

A mate then entered the pub a bought me two shots of tequila.

We then carried on into a local bar with music and coloured lights where i got on the shorts. Before long i was dancing gangnam style in the doorway of the bar, for about 10 minutes.

Once we left, the taxi was taking some of our group home first and I began to feel queezy. Asked the driver to stop and get me on the way back. Proceeded to vomit outside of the school gates and await the taxi's return. When he returned one of our friends had given my wife a bright pink bucket for me just in case.
 
I am seriously in the dog house. Went out out last night, got home, woke up about 3am and decided to urinate on the sky box in the bedroom proceeding to trip the whole house electrics. Oops.


This is funny as hell!!

I shall not be telling you the worst thing as it might get me locked up but:

I was on a French exchange as a child. Could not speak a word of French. Was staying in a high rise block of flats with a family. It was HARD work as we could not converse. Long story short, they got me drunk on red wine and that night I was sick out the window. Thank god the next day was the day we were going home. As we drove away I looked out the back window of the car and there was a red wine stain running from my window about 6 stories to the ground.... Oooops.
 
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