Rooter
Money List Winner
I am seriously in the dog house. Went out out last night, got home, woke up about 3am and decided to urinate on the sky box in the bedroom proceeding to trip the whole house electrics. Oops.
What's the worst you have done under the influence?
- Thread starter Rooter
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ColchesterFC
Journeyman Pro
I went out for a celebratory drink with my brother when his other half was pregnant and close to her due date. I had a couple too many and fell out of the taxi into a ditch. Brother dragged me out and into his house where I threw up everywhere. He then put me into bed. In my house you come out of the bedroom and turn right to find the bathroom. In his house that's his bedroom. His other half woke up with a scream in the middle of the night to find me drunk, naked and with my gentleman's sausage in my hand about to start seeing on her. I woke up horribly hungover the next day to find that she had gone into Labour and was blaming the shock of the night's events for it.
D
Deleted member 1740
Guest
:rofl: :rofl:
bluewolf
Money List Winner
I got overly drunk in Barcelona, forgot the name of my hotel, got lost, used my mobile to ring the Missus back in Blighty to try and find directions back to the only thing near the Hotel I could remember (A McDonalds). Got told off, took a leak against a wall, got arrested, given a hiding by the Spanish Police, dropped off in the roughest part of town, had bottles and fireworks thrown at me from balconies, bought a Spanish sausage (not a euphemism) from an all night deli, finally flagged down a Taxi and promised him 50 euros if he'd take me back to Las Ramblas, was taken 100 yards round the corner to Las Ramblas :angry:, suffered an attempted mugging by some of the local night workers, finally found the hotel and realized that I was only a few hundred yards away at the start of my "adventure"..
To top it all off, when I got home, I was stung with a £180 mobile phone bill..... Pricey night out....
To top it all off, when I got home, I was stung with a £180 mobile phone bill..... Pricey night out....
Neilds
Assistant Pro
A big local lass in Elgin, love tattooed on her knuckles - had to run in the morning😱
I'd rather not say the worst one, as the forum saints will castigate me to high heaven.
The second worst one was putting a pan of stew on at 2am, then going to bed. The pan actually had a hole burnt through it, and the kitchen was full of smoke when the whole house debunked outside in their jarmies.
Oh, and the worst one. Coming in 3 sheets to the wind, with a full load of Theakston's Old Peculiar. Deciding to take my Dolomite Sprint out for a blast wasn't wise. Pulled onto the A19 and floored it. Just got up to warp factor 7 when I saw blue lights come on behind me.
He shot past me as I sobered up to the fact I would have been bang to rights way over. I came off at the next junction, parked up and called a taxi from the first phone box I found.
37 years ago and not DD'd since.
The second worst one was putting a pan of stew on at 2am, then going to bed. The pan actually had a hole burnt through it, and the kitchen was full of smoke when the whole house debunked outside in their jarmies.
Oh, and the worst one. Coming in 3 sheets to the wind, with a full load of Theakston's Old Peculiar. Deciding to take my Dolomite Sprint out for a blast wasn't wise. Pulled onto the A19 and floored it. Just got up to warp factor 7 when I saw blue lights come on behind me.
He shot past me as I sobered up to the fact I would have been bang to rights way over. I came off at the next junction, parked up and called a taxi from the first phone box I found.
37 years ago and not DD'd since.
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Back in the day, one of my mates from school lived on the Isle of Wight and boarded at the school. Once he left, he worked in town so stayed.
2 other mates, myself and him decided it would be a good idea to have a holiday camping in his back garden in The.
First night we, of course, got completely blathered and started staggering home along the sea front.
One of us, not me, decided it was time for a leak so stood on the sea wall and proceeded to try to increase the volume of water in the Solent.
Now that's a good idea, we all thought so joined him.
30 seconds later we were in the back of a Police van on our way to the station... Someone had complained about the excessive noise and the Boys in Blue were watching us...
Back at the station, the local gave his name and address first followed by one of the others.
As soon as he said High Wycombe the Sergeant just said " Bloody Tourists" slammed the book shut and warned us that if he even saw us in the next week we were in trouble....
I think we got lucky coz we stayed fairly well oiled for the whole week.....:thup::cheers:
2 other mates, myself and him decided it would be a good idea to have a holiday camping in his back garden in The.
First night we, of course, got completely blathered and started staggering home along the sea front.
One of us, not me, decided it was time for a leak so stood on the sea wall and proceeded to try to increase the volume of water in the Solent.
Now that's a good idea, we all thought so joined him.
30 seconds later we were in the back of a Police van on our way to the station... Someone had complained about the excessive noise and the Boys in Blue were watching us...
Back at the station, the local gave his name and address first followed by one of the others.
As soon as he said High Wycombe the Sergeant just said " Bloody Tourists" slammed the book shut and warned us that if he even saw us in the next week we were in trouble....
I think we got lucky coz we stayed fairly well oiled for the whole week.....:thup::cheers:
FairwayDodger
Money List Winner
Got on a train from Glasgow central to East Kilbride and fell asleep. Woke up and the train was still on the platform at central. Only problem was that I'd been to EK and back again, slept through the whole journey.
Doon frae Troon
Ryder Cup Winner
Around midnight on a freezing cold beautiful frosty full moon night, I fancied walking the six miles home along the beach.
Even worse idea as it was a full tide, I was not wearing a coat and the shoes were thin winkle pickers
Scrambling over iced over rocks was not for the faint hearted so after 2 miles I gave up and re-traced my steps back to a sobering eight mile walk home.
Even worse idea as it was a full tide, I was not wearing a coat and the shoes were thin winkle pickers
Scrambling over iced over rocks was not for the faint hearted so after 2 miles I gave up and re-traced my steps back to a sobering eight mile walk home.
Pathetic Shark
Tour Rookie
Took Gary Imlach, then of Channel 4, now of Tour de France fame, into the legendary Mons Venus strip club in Tampa in 1997 and paid for him to have a lap dance. All I could see were his hands round her arse and a comment of "you b*****d, I've got to be on a plane to Atlanta in three hours!" The rest of the night was a drunken haze.
Joff
Challenge Tour Pro
Managed 5 pints, a double vodka and a jagerbomb before teeing off on our Easter Sunday Stableford. I can remember teeing off on the first (nailed it), and the approach (2nd) flying over the green by 20 yards. That's it. 17 points.
How long you got.....😳
USER1999
Grand Slam Winner
On a bender in Southsea, broke into the castle, trashed a cafe, and then got arrested for letting down coach tyres in the car park. Eejit. Especially for hiring under a rapidly deflating coach.
Banged up over night by the Portsmouth Police for D and D when found sleeping in the middle of a round about.
Walking home from the golf club in December, in the dark, taking a short cut through the woods. All was going well, until I stuck my foot down a rabbit hole. I fell over, stood up, fell over, and found out I couldn't put any weight on my left ankle. I'm in the middle of the woods, in a suit, it's minus 2, and I'm bladdered.
Eventually gimped home, freezing cold, and woke up in the morning, front door wide open, muddy foot prints through the house, me on top of the duvet, in my suit, coated in mud, with the knees ripped out. Luckily, Mrs mogs was visiting the parents. She will never know!
Banged up over night by the Portsmouth Police for D and D when found sleeping in the middle of a round about.
Walking home from the golf club in December, in the dark, taking a short cut through the woods. All was going well, until I stuck my foot down a rabbit hole. I fell over, stood up, fell over, and found out I couldn't put any weight on my left ankle. I'm in the middle of the woods, in a suit, it's minus 2, and I'm bladdered.
Eventually gimped home, freezing cold, and woke up in the morning, front door wide open, muddy foot prints through the house, me on top of the duvet, in my suit, coated in mud, with the knees ripped out. Luckily, Mrs mogs was visiting the parents. She will never know!
HomerJSimpson
Hall of Famer
On a walk home from a big night out it started lashing down. Saw a glass porch with all the lights in the house off so decided to quietly try the door and wait for the rain to stop. Fell asleep and decided to make a hasty exit in broad daylight about 6.00am wondering how many people had seen me. Mate of mine urinated in a filing cabinet at a staff office party in the 80's
SaintHacker
Journeyman Pro
Mrs had her sister stay over one night a few years ago. I came in from pub bladdered, apparently I stripped off to go to bed, naked, but got in the wrong bed. Sis in law extremely embarrassed, wife extremely angry!
Took a bit of grovelling to be forgiven for that one!
Took a bit of grovelling to be forgiven for that one!
USER1999
Grand Slam Winner
Mrs had her sister stay over one night a few years ago. I came in from pub bladdered, apparently I stripped off to go to bed, naked, but got in the wrong bed. Sis in law extremely embarrassed, wife extremely angry!
Took a bit of grovelling to be forgiven for that one!
Are you sure that was a mistake?
SaintHacker
Journeyman Pro
Very sure!
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
Mrs had her sister stay over one night a few years ago. I came in from pub bladdered, apparently I stripped off to go to bed, naked, but got in the wrong bed. Sis in law extremely embarrassed, wife extremely angry!
Took a bit of grovelling to be forgiven for that one!
Oh well! at least it wasn't the Mother in Law
chippa1909
Head Pro
Had a **** in the bidet.
SaintHacker
Journeyman Pro
Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner! :rofl:
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