Wedding present, what is acceptable

[Lord Tyrion]

I'm going to a wedding in a few weeks. Couple are in their early 60's, small numbers going, specifically stated no presents. Now, no presents means nothing for the house or the like but it would be like turning up to a party without a bottle, we have to take something.

The link to the couple is the bloke, he likes a specific beer from a micro brewery. His partner likes Sauvignon Blanc. Simple, I'll get a few bottles of each, will give them to the couple on the quiet, no fuss.

Here comes the question. How many do I get? What would be acceptable? Too many would be as awkward as too few.

Initial thoughts are 10 x 500ml beer, 3 x White wine. Have I gone too big, is that too few?

Thoughts please.

 

[Orikoru]

We usually just stick 50 quid in an envelope for every wedding we attend. (Maybe less if there's no meal / free bar. )

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Knowing the guy, he will appreciate the beer . The fact that I've remembered his favourite beer will add a personal touch. I did think about cash but this will be better on this occasion.

 

[JT.]

I'm going to a wedding in a few weeks. Couple are in their early 60's, small numbers going, specifically stated no presents. Now, no presents means nothing for the house or the like but it would be like turning up to a party without a bottle, we have to take something.

The link to the couple is the bloke, he likes a specific beer from a micro brewery. His partner likes Sauvignon Blanc. Simple, I'll get a few bottles of each, will give them to the couple on the quiet, no fuss.

Here comes the question. How many do I get? What would be acceptable? Too many would be as awkward as too few.

Initial thoughts are 10 x 500ml beer, 3 x White wine. Have I gone too big, is that too few?

Thoughts please.

Sounds good to me, tells the happy couple that you know them and sounds like something they’re going to enjoy

 

[Backache]

Could you get a voucher for a trip to the microbrewery and attach it to a couple of decent bottles of Sauv Blanc?

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Could you get a voucher for a trip to the microbrewery and attach it to a couple of decent bottles of Sauv Blanc?

Nice thought, I did look at that, but it's a bit of a trek so I decided that was taking things too far.

 

[patricks148]

what you have done sounds more than reasonable. though wine wise i would plump for one really nice Sancerre rather than 3 bottles of ord Sov

 

[Voyager EMH]

We stated no presents for our wedding in 2012.
We had been a couple since 1979, mortgage was paid off, we did not need anything.
One person broke the rule and made us a cake. That was lovely.

They have said no presents and I would do as they say.
One bottle of wine, if you must. But don't embarrass them by spending lots of cash, if that is exactly what they don't want people to do.
Maybe have a discrete word first, if you know them very well.
It seems they are not setting great store in present buying, so I imagine they will be quite happy to converse about it and come to an agreement with you.
Better that than you imposing your decision on them.

 

[BrianM]

I’d go with one good bottle of white (Sancerre or Chablis) with the beer

 

[williamalex1]

A £ 50 voucher for a nice restaurant.

 

[AmandaJR]

Is there a reception? Is it possible to ask the venue to stock some of his favourite beer and he can be surprised when he finds it available?

To be honest - they state no presents and I'd be honouring that request and not feel bad about it.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

A £ 50 voucher for a nice restaurant.

It would be wasted on him, he'd be the first to say that

 

[Swango1980]

We usually just stick 50 quid in an envelope for every wedding we attend. (Maybe less if there's no meal / free bar. )

I went to a wedding of one of my golf mates a while back, and a couple of guests (man and wife) who were going gave me a lift. On the way there, they were discussing how much money they should put in their joint wedding card to the happy couple. In the end, they decided to stick a £5 note in the card.

That went down like a lead balloon. It is a funny story, but I think they'd have been given more respect if they just gave them a card with no money in it at all.

 

[Orikoru]

I went to a wedding of one of my golf mates a while back, and a couple of guests (man and wife) who were going gave me a lift. On the way there, they were discussing how much money they should put in their joint wedding card to the happy couple. In the end, they decided to stick a £5 note in the card.

That went down like a lead balloon. It is a funny story, but I think they'd have been given more respect if they just gave them a card with no money in it at all.

The fact that it was a debate and they compromised on £5 makes me think one of them was arguing for less? £5 is what your nan puts in your card when you're like 12 years old.

£50 maybe sounds like a lot but it's not at all when there's two of you getting a free meal and a few drinks out of it. If I was only an evening guest rather than a main guest then we'd lower that considerably, maybe to around £20-30 though, not a fiver. As you say, hardly worth bothering!

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Is there a reception? Is it possible to ask the venue to stock some of his favourite beer and he can be surprised when he finds it available?

To be honest - they state no presents and I'd be honouring that request and not feel bad about it.

The reception is in a pub that is tied, I would not ask them to do this, it would not be fair.

 

[Norrin Radd]

Sounds like you have answered your own question LT.
The amount you are talking I think would be fine .

 

[Neilds]

In my opinion, no presents means no presents so that is what I would take

 

[Imurg]

Sounds like the present is your presence.......

 

[Hobbit]

Sounds like a good plan

 

[srixon 1]

I'm going to a wedding in a few weeks. Couple are in their early 60's, small numbers going, specifically stated no presents. Now, no presents means nothing for the house or the like but it would be like turning up to a party without a bottle, we have to take something.

The link to the couple is the bloke, he likes a specific beer from a micro brewery. His partner likes Sauvignon Blanc. Simple, I'll get a few bottles of each, will give them to the couple on the quiet, no fuss.

Here comes the question. How many do I get? What would be acceptable? Too many would be as awkward as too few.

Initial thoughts are 10 x 500ml beer, 3 x White wine. Have I gone too big, is that too few?

Thoughts please.

If I’m anything to go by at the same age as them I’d suggest a years supply of pain killers and their own parking spot at the doctors

On a serious note I would do as they request and just take yourselves. Then buy the happy couple some drinks during the reception.