Very angry newbie

Fish

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I think you showed great restraint, something I don't think I would have done with such a bombardment of abuse. A formal letter to the secretary is a must and request you are informed of the outcome and any defence they think they can offer, not sure I'd want an apology off them, if their like that it wouldn't be a true one IMO and they'd be only offering it because they were told to. I bet you felt like a thorn between 2 (put your own word in)
 

pokerjoke

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To the OP:

It is terrible to have to suffer the total lack of etiquette and ignorance that you had to deal with, but even worse is the abusive response when you questioned them. My question however would be as to what could be achieved with a formal complaint?

If you were to complain to the committee this will only result in the offenders being brought in front of the committee to answer and no doubt deny, leading to a slanging match with you against them. This will only have an ending with them and their friends and you/ your friends being at loggerheads and nothing ever really improving. In fact I can only imagine things getting worse.

I don't know what the answer is, but if me I think I could walk into the clubhouse with my head held high from standing up to them and leave it at that. With any luck at some point they may realise their error, and feel embarrassed to the point of an apology.

Whatever happens, don't let it affect your golf! Hope it works out.

I agree with this.
It should not have happened,but imo move on.
All these situations can just turn into worse situations.
Enjoy your golf.

I have had a few slow days on my course lately,yes it can be frustrating.
However I always stop the offenders and ask if we can play through,ask
nicely and politely and they will usually oblige.
If they don't ring the pro shop and get someone to come out and resolve the situation.
It doesn't have to get nasty.
 

Fish

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If you were to complain to the committee this will only result in the offenders being brought in front of the committee to answer and no doubt deny, leading to a slanging match with you against them. This will only have an ending with them and their friends and you/ your friends being at loggerheads and nothing ever really improving. In fact I can only imagine things getting worse.

I don't know what the answer is, but if me I think I could walk into the clubhouse with my head held high from standing up to them and leave it at that.

I agree with this.
It should not have happened,but imo move on.
All these situations can just turn into worse situations.

I disagree.

If you don't complain clubs don't know and can't deal with what may be serial offenders and it may be that other instances have taken place and that this tips the balance and their blackballed, or, it may give confidence once its out in the open that others have suffered the same fate and then they come forward also, at the end of the day it's only their own fault, it was hardly a trivial matter after-all!

Why should situations like this go unreported for the fear of more retribution, clubs cannot deal with matters if they go unreported which in-turn could lead to members leaving or not playing as much as they'd like due to idiots like these 2 wandering the course doing what they want to do without being accountable.
 

CMAC

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I disagree.

If you don't complain clubs don't know and can't deal with what may be serial offenders and it may be that other instances have taken place and that this tips the balance and their blackballed, or, it may give confidence once its out in the open that others have suffered the same fate and then they come forward also, at the end of the day it's only their own fault, it was hardly a trivial matter after-all!

Why should situations like this go unreported for the fear of more retribution, clubs cannot deal with matters if they go unreported which in-turn could lead to members leaving or not playing as much as they'd like due to idiots like these 2 wandering the course doing what they want to do without being accountable.

Where's the 'Like' button :thup:
 

Scooby999

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Fair play, you kept your cool which I know wouldn't have been the same from me! I enjoy a practice round on my own, gives a bit of time to concentrate and chill. If I know I am behind a chain of 2/3/4 balls then I just bear with it and enjoy the piece and quiet and crack on. If there is a random 2\3/4 then I would expect a call through or where possible jump a hole.

I would complain about them especially there attitude about membership of the "likes of you", I am sure the committee/management team would be well impressed that this has made the WWW. Not a great advert for,clubs who are struggling for full membership.

This old fashioned, I have been here 30 years attitude really grinds me, print out this thread with your complaint letter, would be great racing in the committee meeting, shame you have not named the course !
 

Tashyboy

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Year before last when I started playing again, I was shopping around for courses in my area, rufford, norwood, Mansfield, rams dale, Spingwater, college pines norwood etc etc,

Anyway I got to the first tee and was 2 mins late. And there was 6 guys waiting to tee off. So one of the guys gets on the tee and tees off. Now at this point I never had an issue coz I was late end of. The first hole was a dogleg left and you could see all the way to the green. The first 3 ball gets down the fairway plays there second shots and gets on the green and putts out.

At this stage me and my playing partner are wondering why the other 3 have not teed off. One of the guys says what time did you tell ?john or whatever his name was to get here for. He replies 15 mins ago. At that point. The first guy said oh here's john.

at that point I realised they were playing a fourball and not a three ball. I said to the 4 guys. " I know we were a couple of mins late which is why I had no complaints about you 2x threesomes playing before us, but your playing partner is 10 mins late and we will now be stuck behind a fourball for 4 1/2 hours, would you mind if we went before You.

at this point one of the guys waves his driver in my face and spends the next 30 seconds effing and blinding at me saying if it means that much to me then play on. I very politely declined his offer and said "if it upsets you that much then they can play on".

his playing partner who was late arriving said "listen pal, you are right in what you say, I am late and please play on and apologised". I then walked onto the 1st tee and smashed one straight down the middle, as did my playing partner.

for the next 18 holes I had steam coming out of my ears, I was raging. Best bit is I shot my lowest ever score that day a big up respectful 86. Playing off 24.

Anyway, the day after I was talking to one of the lads at work who knows the then club captain and mentioned it to him. He collared me and asked for my version of events. He was gutted to hear what I had to say, and said he would look into it. I told him to also ask my mate re his version.

a day or two later the club captain collared me at work re the events and said that the member had been asked for his version of events. guess what, they were different to mine.

i told the captain I had no reason to lie. That was and will be the last time I ever golf there again.

it was a massive learning curve for me, and was the main reason I did not join that club.
 

GB72

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I have never understood why clubs do not emphasise more to members that they are a walking advertisement for the club when they are on club grounds. At a time when clubs are struggling for members, it never ceases to amaze me that people act in such a way on the course or in the clubhouse that could easily upset or dissuade potential new members from joining. When I played rugby it was often pointed out that the actions of players on the pitch, in the bar or anywhere that we were wearing club colours reflected on the club as a whole and that should always be remembered. Surely clubs should be emphasising more to their members that guests, pay and players, societies, in fact everyone who uses the club and its facilities should be seen as a potential new member and should be treated with respect and courtesy.

I know that these are things that should be taken for granted but clearly that is not the case with everyone.
 

JCW

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Regardless of club rules on single players they are still out of order, Report them even if you have to say you will forward the names later as you only know the faces , if they treat members in this manner , I hate to think how they treat guest at the club ..................................EYG
 

London mike 61

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Welcome to the forum mate!

The fact that you spoke to them politely and didn't lose your rag is to your credit, if you achieve nothing else you would have made them think about their behaviour and the next time they act like this ( as I'm sure they will ) they will soon see from others reactions that taking extra putts while someone is waiting is unacceptable.

Put your complaint in writing and keep the content factual without too much emotion because the powers that be can't take any action if they don't have a documented history of the offenders antics.

EYG
 

Foxholer

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I disagree.

If you don't complain clubs don't know and can't deal with what may be serial offenders and it may be that other instances have taken place and that this tips the balance and their blackballed, or, it may give confidence once its out in the open that others have suffered the same fate and then they come forward also, at the end of the day it's only their own fault, it was hardly a trivial matter after-all!

Why should situations like this go unreported for the fear of more retribution, clubs cannot deal with matters if they go unreported which in-turn could lead to members leaving or not playing as much as they'd like due to idiots like these 2 wandering the course doing what they want to do without being accountable.

Totally agree with this.

Simply state the facts and how it made you feel.

Then let the Club determine what action to take. Their action might influence your subsequent relationship with the Club, but is not actually related to this incident - just triggered by it.

But I'd suggest next time you play through a group, you simply thank them and move on!

@Jason/Pokerjoke Would you similarly do nothing in a Restaurant if your Steak ordered 'Rare' came out 'Well Done'? Or the cutlery hadn't been cleaned properly? Or the Beer cloudy when it should sparkle, or the Wine that should be chilled was room temperature? Or equivalent when you received your car back from a service?
 
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Tashyboy

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I have never understood why clubs do not emphasise more to members that they are a walking advertisement for the club when they are on club grounds. At a time when clubs are struggling for members, it never ceases to amaze me that people act in such a way on the course or in the clubhouse that could easily upset or dissuade potential new members from joining. When I played rugby it was often pointed out that the actions of players on the pitch, in the bar or anywhere that we were wearing club colours reflected on the club as a whole and that should always be remembered. Surely clubs should be emphasising more to their members that guests, pay and players, societies, in fact everyone who uses the club and its facilities should be seen as a potential new member and should be treated with respect and courtesy.

I know that these are things that should be taken for granted but clearly that is not the case with everyone.


Good point/s well put.

there were loads I missed out on my altercation, but I dint mention them coz it would of gone on and on. But I didn't know who they were. My playing partner knew Gobby and the polite late one, from work 20 years earlier. He said that they have not changed in personalities in that time. In essence they are the same on a golf course as they are off it. One is the big i am, the other is quite a gentleman.
 

1sttimelucky

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Really unfortunate situation that the OP had... (& the outsider in me thinks it would be fascinating to hear from the others involved to know how they viewed events)

Not having a go in anyway but... I’d love to know if they thought you were laughing at them on the 3rd temp tee when you were actually laughing to yourself (easy to mix up I guess) and also three holes later when you queried why you weren’t let through sooner, I wonder if they thought that was a touch unnecessary given they might have thought they were quite gracious given the club rule on singles. Who knows, but as I say I think it would be fascinating to know

Re their on course actions its very hard to find an excuse for not replacing divots, very poor behavior along with the extra practice putting while you were waiting (notwithstanding a singles standing)

I don’t really think a formal complaint will get the desired outcome but anyway I just hope there’s no repeat

And totally unrelated but the if the guess at your location is correct it’s a big well done to the greens staff there as it appears to have gone from requiring temp tee’s & mats etc yesterday to Status A today with no course restrictions so at least you can look forward to your next round

Totally agree there is always two sides to every story but I'm 100% sure regarding the laugh as it was one of those you do internally I didn't laugh in their faces as they walked past. I play of a low category 1 handicap but play with a 22 handicapper in my regular fourball so never judge anyone let alone laugh at someone, would not like to tee off in front of a scratch or plus handicapper and for them to laugh at me, I'm a firm believer in no matter how good you think you are always remember there is someone better.

On them being gracious and eventually calling me through despite our club rule regarding single players, as I stated in previous post I think the rule is good at certain times such as busy weekends and silly at quieter weekday periods such as yesterday. I know it can't be enforced in such a way it's either the rule or it's not but I feel it's more an etiquette thing and just manners to always call a faster group through even if it's a single, personally it's how I always operate.

Course status has no bearing on winter rules regarding playing from fairways without mats or playing from main tee boxes which are closed,they don't even have tee markers set out on them. These 2 gents were happy to enforce the single player rule but break other rules regarding where they played from!!

I'm making a complaint to ensure the club know what happened so if the other 2 decide to do likewise they have both versions. Think they should be spoke to regarding playing of fairways, main tee boxes not replacing divots and practicing on the course (another rule at our club no practicing on the course at anytime ie multiple balls in play or multiple putts after holing out) don't see why they should have better playing conditions during winter months than the rest of membership.
 

1sttimelucky

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I agree with this.
It should not have happened,but imo move on.
All these situations can just turn into worse situations.
Enjoy your golf.

I have had a few slow days on my course lately,yes it can be frustrating.
However I always stop the offenders and ask if we can play through,ask
nicely and politely and they will usually oblige.
If they don't ring the pro shop and get someone to come out and resolve the situation.
It doesn't have to get nasty.

Morning after day before and having calmed down I think looking back it was the fact of their general attitude to the course ie no fairway mats, not replacing divots, playing from main tee boxes and practice putting etc which was the main cause of my anger. Bad enough being held up by people with respect for the course but to be held up by people with no respect for course or fellow members is very annoying.
For them to then quote our local rule regarding single players while at same time break numerous other rules shows mentality of people I was up against.
 

1sttimelucky

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Good point/s well put.

there were loads I missed out on my altercation, but I dint mention them coz it would of gone on and on. But I didn't know who they were. My playing partner knew Gobby and the polite late one, from work 20 years earlier. He said that they have not changed in personalities in that time. In essence they are the same on a golf course as they are off it. One is the big i am, the other is quite a gentleman.

Sorry to hear about your experience and the fact it put you of joining. Thankfully this type of attitude is very rare at my club and it will not have an adverse effect on my future participation at the club.
 

Hammertoe

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Really well done on keeping your cool whilst being spoken to like that, I would have lost it, I cannot abide disrespect, please do report it to the club, let them deal with it. Unfortunately we come across pricks in all walks of life and golf seems to have a large share of them.
 

pokerjoke

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Totally agree with this.

Simply state the facts and how it made you feel.

Then let the Club determine what action to take. Their action might influence your subsequent relationship with the Club, but is not actually related to this incident - just triggered by it.

But I'd suggest next time you play through a group, you simply thank them and move on!

@Jason/Pokerjoke Would you similarly do nothing in a Restaurant if your Steak ordered 'Rare' came out 'Well Done'? Or the cutlery hadn't been cleaned properly? Or the Beer cloudy when it should sparkle, or the Wine that should be chilled was room temperature? Or equivalent when you received your car back from a service?

Morning Foxholer.
Of course we don't know each other,but trust me when I say this,I am the most argumentative
person you will meet sometimes.
I will call a spade a spade,in fact I do.
I will tell people how it is,I absolutely hate people who talk behind peoples backs,but
wont have the balls to say it to their face.
However in the past this has got me into lots of trouble.
Now im older and wiser I have mellowed.
These type of situations from the op can nearly always be resolved by talking to
other players politely.
Too many players get behind slow players and just put up with it.
My solution is make people aware you are there,give them a hole or two to speed up,
then if the situation doesn't change then ask to play through.
If they don't let you ring the pro shop.
I totally agree the op should not have to take the abuse he received.
However because none of us were there,how can we honestly say what really went on,and
what made these 2 players blow there tops.
I think it really does come down to the pro shop to make people aware to golfers that
other players are on the course and if they are faster let them through.
No one likes to be behind slow players,but also players hate being pressured too.
 

Foxholer

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Morning Foxholer.
Of course we don't know each other,but trust me when I say this,I am the most argumentative
person you will meet sometimes.
I will call a spade a spade,in fact I do.
I will tell people how it is,I absolutely hate people who talk behind peoples backs,but
wont have the balls to say it to their face.
However in the past this has got me into lots of trouble.
Now im older and wiser I have mellowed......
No problem with that.

However, I'd attempt to avoid the problem altogether, by simply accepting their offer, making no comment on whether it was kind or not, should have happened 2 holes ago or maybe even 5. That's not what I'm on the Golf Course for!

I'd simply play down the hole, thank them (as I really am genuinely grateful) and play on - even though I'd likely be thinking thoughts with multiple expletives!

Back in the Clubhouse would quite possibly be a completely different matter though!

And if (and only if) I was appropriately confident, I'd have rung the Pro Shop/Secretary or whoever - apologising for/explaining the use of a mobile - to get a 'proper authority' to sort them out!
 

clubchamp98

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Totally agree there is always two sides to every story but I'm 100% sure regarding the laugh as it was one of those you do internally I didn't laugh in their faces as they walked past. I play of a low category 1 handicap but play with a 22 handicapper in my regular fourball so never judge anyone let alone laugh at someone, would not like to tee off in front of a scratch or plus handicapper and for them to laugh at me, I'm a firm believer in no matter how good you think you are always remember there is someone better.

On them being gracious and eventually calling me through despite our club rule regarding single players, as I stated in previous post I think the rule is good at certain times such as busy weekends and silly at quieter weekday periods such as yesterday. I know it can't be enforced in such a way it's either the rule or it's not but I feel it's more an etiquette thing and just manners to always call a faster group through even if it's a single, personally it's how I always operate.

Course status has no bearing on winter rules regarding playing from fairways without mats or playing from main tee boxes which are closed,they don't even have tee markers set out on them. These 2 gents were happy to enforce the single player rule but break other rules regarding where they played from!!

I'm making a complaint to ensure the club know what happened so if the other 2 decide to do likewise they have both versions. Think they should be spoke to regarding playing of fairways, main tee boxes not replacing divots and practicing on the course (another rule at our club no practicing on the course at anytime ie multiple balls in play or multiple putts after holing out) don't see why they should have better playing conditions during winter months than the rest of membership.
See my post" HAVE MANNERS GONE FROM GAME" for a similar scenario . The verbal abuse is very poor and nothing to do with golf its just how they are and you should not put up with it. My problem was just the opposite silence when we confronted them.
 

1sttimelucky

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Morning Foxholer.
Of course we don't know each other,but trust me when I say this,I am the most argumentative
person you will meet sometimes.
I will call a spade a spade,in fact I do.
I will tell people how it is,I absolutely hate people who talk behind peoples backs,but
wont have the balls to say it to their face.
However in the past this has got me into lots of trouble.
Now im older and wiser I have mellowed.
These type of situations from the op can nearly always be resolved by talking to
other players politely.
Too many players get behind slow players and just put up with it.
My solution is make people aware you are there,give them a hole or two to speed up,
then if the situation doesn't change then ask to play through.
If they don't let you ring the pro shop.
I totally agree the op should not have to take the abuse he received.
However because none of us were there,how can we honestly say what really went on,and
what made these 2 players blow there tops.
I think it really does come down to the pro shop to make people aware to golfers that
other players are on the course and if they are faster let them through.
No one likes to be behind slow players,but also players hate being pressured too.

Surely on an empty course a two ball will always feel pressured by a single player behind them?? Call single player through at first opportunity problem solved, two ball not feeling pressured single player not unduly getting delayed everyone happy!!!
 
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