Unwelcome playing parners

[rudebhoy]

We had a guy join our club a couple of years ago. He didn’t have anyone to play with so we welcomed him into our roll up group.

It turned out that he was totally obnoxious. Within a couple of months he had managed to antagonise the whole group, and we took a collective decision to tell him he was no longer welcome to play with us.

He disappeared from our radar, and eventually left to join another club.

Moving forward 12 months, he has now rejoined our club, and has now started putting his name down to play with our lads wherever he spots a gap. He first booking is in two weeks time.

It’s a bit of an awkward one, we can’t remove him from our bookings, so are pondering how to deal with this. We could ignore him other than marking his card, but that is going to make a pleasurable game very awkward. We could tell him to stop putting his name down to play with us, but he is likely to complain to the club saying he has a right to put his name down with anyone he pleases.

Thoughts?

 

[Mel Smooth]

Maybe he's changed?

 

[Pin-seeker]

Tell him he’s a knob

 

[rudebhoy]

Maybe he's changed?

Very unlikely!

 

[BrianM]

Could you book the last spot as a guest, I know it’s not the right thing to do as it stops decent people joining the group, but he might get the hint….

 

[Mel Smooth]

Very unlikely!

In that case refer to post #3

 

[Slab]

Someone’s gonna have to have a wee chat with him
Just reference the last experience, lay out how no one really wants a repeat etc and see how he reacts and then how he behaves during the round

Either he can’t/wont change so its same as last time or he can integrate himself better (maybe it lasts maybe it doesn't)

 

[rudebhoy]

Could you book the last spot as a guest, I know it’s not the right thing to do as it stops decent people joining the group, but he might get the hint….

No, we recently introduced a policy where, if you put down a guest, your card gets the guest fee deducted straight away. That was to stop people misusing guests to ensure they had just a 3 ball, 2 ball or even 1 ball.

 

[Arthur Wedge]

unfortunately if it’s tee bookings then you can’t stop him jumping in with your group

You can have a chat with him

And just mark a card for him

 

[irip]

The first time he is due back one of you needs to sit down with him and explain it.
Tell him exactly what he did wrong last time (and right).
And tell him he has one chance or he is out.
It only needs one person rather than a group attacking him as he might then understandably get defensive but explain it is how the whole group feels.
Also give the heads up to your head pro/general manager whoever so they are aware of the situation and agree with them a way out if he causes problems again.
Hopefully it works as sometimes we all need a second chance and maybe there was something going on before that has resolved itself in the back ground.
Good luck it’s a difficult situation but you might even gain a new mate out of it.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Just accept that we are all different and approach golf and life in different ways.

There are some in my rollup ‘squad’ (of around 50) that if they turn up I’m rather hoping I’m not drawn with…there are aspects of their nature; their ‘banter’, and things they talk about to do with the club and course that can irritate me - though mostly not majorly. And so be it.

I take the view that life is too short and worse things happen at sea, so simply try and put my irritations aside and act courteously towards him. If he does irritate I reduce my engaging with him as we play but I am not rude or discourteous…I keep my side of the street clean.

And of course I have to recognise that the same will, I have no doubt, be on the minds of some others about me when I roll up.

 

[Orikoru]

Just accept that we are all different and approach golf and life in different ways.

There are some in my rollup ‘squad’ (of around 50) that if they turn up I’m rather hoping I’m not drawn with…there are aspects of their nature; their ‘banter’, and things they talk about to do with the club and course that can irritate me - though mostly not majorly. And so be it.

I take the view that life is too short and worse things happen at sea, so simply try and put my irritations aside and act courteously towards him. If he does irritate I reduce my engaging with him as we play but I am not rude or discourteous…I keep my side of the street clean.

And of course I have to recognise that the same will, I have no doubt, be on the minds of some others about me when I roll up.

I actually agree with this. It takes all sorts to make a world. This guy may not be everyone's cup of tea, but when I'm playing with someone whose company I don't enjoy, I just let them crack on and chat to the other two players. And hope we don't get him next time.

And I'm perfectly willing to admit that I might be that person sometimes if there is a clash of personalities, that's how I'd want to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot. Just let me play my golf and keep the chat to a minimum if need be.

 

[Oops!]

The first time he is due back one of you needs to sit down with him and explain it.
Tell him exactly what he did wrong last time (and right).
And tell him he has one chance or he is out.
It only needs one person rather than a group attacking him as he might then understandably get defensive but explain it is how the whole group feels.
Also give the heads up to your head pro/general manager whoever so they are aware of the situation and agree with them a way out if he causes problems again.
Hopefully it works as sometimes we all need a second chance and maybe there was something going on before that has resolved itself in the back ground.
Good luck it’s a difficult situation but you might even gain a new mate out of it.

… and if that doesn‘t work out, you can always cancel your booking - maybe he‘ll get it better that way !

 

[Reemul]

I actually agree with this. It takes all sorts to make a world. This guy may not be everyone's cup of tea, but when I'm playing with someone whose company I don't enjoy, I just let them crack on and chat to the other two players. And hope we don't get him next time.

And I'm perfectly willing to admit that I might be that person sometimes if there is a clash of personalities, that's how I'd want to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot. Just let me play my golf and keep the chat to a minimum if need be.

Yep, I totally disagree, there are far too many aholes and my enjoyment time is limited so I have zero intention of doing anything with anyone that is an ahole. I agree though there are many types of people and it is why most of hang around with some and not others, it's bad enough at work where you have no choice let alone in your free time. Tell him politely to get lost as he behaves in apoor way you have no intention of putting up with, just like the last time. You can of course give him anotehr chance but given his age it's unlikely that his character will change that much.

 

[PaulMdj]

Yep, I totally disagree, there are far too many aholes and my enjoyment time is limited so I have zero intention of doing anything with anyone that is an ahole. I agree though there are many types of people and it is why most of hang around with some and not others, it's bad enough at work where you have no choice let alone in your free time. Tell him politely to get lost as he behaves in apoor way you have no intention of putting up with, just like the last time. You can of course give him anotehr chance but given his age it's unlikely that his character will change that much.

I agree with what you suggest, but you can’t make him “get lost” especially if he is such ahole.

It may look as if he’s winning, but I’d move slots or day or whatever if he was that bad to be around.

 

[rudebhoy]

I actually agree with this. It takes all sorts to make a world. This guy may not be everyone's cup of tea, but when I'm playing with someone whose company I don't enjoy, I just let them crack on and chat to the other two players. And hope we don't get him next time.

And I'm perfectly willing to admit that I might be that person sometimes if there is a clash of personalities, that's how I'd want to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot. Just let me play my golf and keep the chat to a minimum if need be.

This guy is a real one off. There are 30 in the group and he managed to alienate every single of them!

 

[Backache]

If he is this bad I would collect written examples of poor behaviour and make a formal complaint to the commitee.

 

[Lucifer MorningStar]

This guy is a real one off. There are 30 in the group and he managed to alienate every single of them!

I mean thats impressive to have a group of30 people and not even 1 person can tolerate the geezer.

If I were you I’d take him aside and politely lay out the issues and what can be done to rectify them, acknowledge you’re a decent person and willing to give him a chance with assurances he won’t behave the same way again. Let him know though the first instance of any such behaviour will be the last.

If it then continues approach the club committee with the concerns and that way give some everything as a person and as a concerned member that you can and that way no accusations can be levied at your group for alienating a fellow member.

 

[Oops!]

To be honest, I don't get the problem: If I don't want to play with someone, I just don't! No one can force me to!

 

[mister v]

If he is this bad I would collect written examples of poor behavior and make a formal complaint to the committee.

I think that this is a good idea, either this or post #3.