Stupid ways to get injured Part 1 - Walking the Dog

My unusual injury, well not the injury the way it happened, was putting on a green and noticed a small stone on my line, really small and on picking it up threw it off the green, I assume with a follow through - and my arm dislocated.

Tears in the eyes and a very painful walk back to the car and off to A & E..... and the resetting...OUCH!!
 
Tripped off the front door step. Shattered my ankle to the point where it was being held on to my leg by tendons, ligaments, muscle and skin.

Severely sprained the other one and couldn't play for almost a year!
Click to expand...

Fcuk me, how high is your front door step?
 
I somehow managed to cut my eyeball on Thursday night while taking out my contact lenses. So instead of enjoying 27 holes of golf at the Southampton meet on Friday, I spent the morning in hospital and the afternoon sat in a darkened room applying eye drops every hour. I also get to enjoy daily hospital visits until it heals... :(
I'm gutted as I'd been looking forward to the forum meet for a couple of months...
 
I've managed a few,
first was 'darn sarth' (Falklands) - going from cab to cab (Sea Harriers) setting IFF codes. hopped onto a cockpit ladder that wasn't latched. accelerated toward me at a rate of knots to be halted by a rung impacting my nose - ruined my secondary career as a gigolo!

second also involved my nose - took a bunch of scouts swimming in Wales (no not those, this one has hugely sympathetic doctors - not!). 'how do you swim butterfly?' asked one oik. short answer is not the way I showed them - it's much better to have your arms <u>forward</u> when you get to the wall.

third one was the dog's fault on the grounds that I wouldn't have been there if we didn't have the dog. took it for a walk before work, grotty miserable morning so hardly anyone around (this was significant). stepped in a puddle (I was wearing wellies), turned to step out and . . . my foot stayed where it was. just this disconcerting graunching noise, but strangely not much pain. at first I thought it was sprained but after I had hopped/crawled to a fence post and watched my foot rotating to an odd angle I guessed it was worse - did the fibula near the knee, the tibia in two places just above the ankle, the 'stirrup' (whatever that's called) in two places - plus ripping all the muscle between.
I could see my house - across a couple of barbed wire fences, and half a mile of cow field.
 
I could see my house - across a couple of barbed wire fences, and half a mile of cow field.
Click to expand...

LOL, I know that feeling. Had a back spasm once 50yds from my front door, dropped me like a sack of spuds, one minute just walking along and the next I'm lying on the floor paralysed wondering WTF happened! (trapped a nerve apparently). I had to phone the missus and ask her to come outside and pick me up as I literally couldn't move! Was kinda weird seeing my house and knowing that from 50yds it was 50yds too many
 
back in april i was crossing the 9th tee box to get to the 18th, as they were repairing the pathways, fella behind me on the 17th 150 yard par 3 slices his shot with his 3 wood doesn't call fore, i hear the ball wizz past my ear and embed between 2 branches right in front of me, i turned to ... well dont know probably shout abuse at him, then i slipped obvious reaction is to lower your arm to stop, but down i went, 3 hours in a&e 2 fractures in my wrist, and about 2 hours of nausea n dizziness

im that paranoid about falling i regularly brush the studs of my golf shoes every few holes

plus being 18 stone probably didnt help my case :S
 
HawkeyeMS said:
There I was, happily walking one of my dogs last night, minding my own business and totally oblivious to the cat under a bush about 10 yards away.

Unfortunately for me, my dog wasn't so oblivious to the cat and made a sudden lunge towards it. To make matters worse, my dog is a 47kg Bernese Mountain Dog and let me tell you, if one of those changes direction without warning there isn't much you can do about it.
Click to expand...

You need Cesar Milan my friend :D Lovely dogs though.
 
ouch that sounds painfall


i have a few of these most painfall was breaking my ankle from attempting to use a skateboard as a step ladder to break into my own house
 
Once when taking part in a relay race where the baton was a football and the track was over a assault course scramble net and back. I was on the anchor leg. Teams were neck and neck. I decided I was going to win and jumped onto the net, landed my foot perfectly but failed to grab the net with the one free hand. I fell off backwards, flat onto the ground, which was very rough with a rock sticking out. No idea how I did not do some serious damage to my spine. Extremely bad bruising but struggled to get up and down from chairs.
 
about to start the first football match of the season, doing a warmup and put my foot down a rabbit hole whilst running and turned it. Had a couple of mins before kick off so heavily strapped it up and played every game, didnt get a chance to rest it.. now its fecked lol
 
Also, same ankle... At the PYB Final in Gainsborough, Rick and Danny will remember, walking back after the Ryder Cup win, after a few whiskeys, tripped over the curb into the road. Woke up in the morning with a heavily brusied ankle and dried blood on my trousers!! uh oh.. Ankle is still buggered, but i won lol
 
StrangelyBrown said:
I sneezed and headbutted the steering wheel of my car.
Click to expand...
I nearly wet myself picturing the scene.

Stupidest for me was using a toilet with a dodgy seat. Stood at it having a wee and it fell smacking my dangly bits like a punch bag. Left me in a crumpled heap unable to speak. Thankfully the flow had just finished.
 
palindromicbob said:
I nearly wet myself picturing the scene.

Stupidest for me was using a toilet with a dodgy seat. Stood at it having a wee and it fell smacking my dangly bits like a punch bag. Left me in a crumpled heap unable to speak. Thankfully the flow had just finished.
Click to expand...

:rofl::rofl:

Buncrana last year?
 
When i was 14 i decided to find out what was inside a titleist tour 90 balata with a pair of scissors. First few incisions went fine. On seeing the tightly wound rubber bands i got too excited and rammed the scissors straight into and up the length of my index finder. On retrieving the scissors from said finger under a fair bit of shock, a rather large jet of blood spurted over the wall and i collapsed onto the floor like a drunk at closing time. Still have no feeling in that half of my finger. And it was a wee rubber ball in the middle by the way. I finished the job later on
 
Stupidest golfing injury: got out of bunker and tried to do the Pro-thing of knocking the sand off your wedge and shoe by hitting the heel of the shoe with the club - swung and hit my ankle bone instead. Much pain and hobbling.

Stupidest injury: sneezed while shaving; spasm in back, collapsed in heap on bathroom floor.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

S
Dog attacks
2
Replies
35
Views
3K
ExRabbit
E
Tashyboy
Electric mountain bike
2 3 4
Replies
73
Views
5K
clubchamp98
clubchamp98
rudebhoy
Dog Walking and your "Exercise" quota
2
Replies
27
Views
2K
Deleted member 16999
D
Mudball
Many ways to get in the hole..
Replies
10
Views
921
Mudball
Mudball
Tashyboy
Dog poo bags.
Replies
7
Views
2K
Fish
F
Top