Smack or not?

[davidy233]

I agree violence is not always the answer, but there are occasions where a smack is necessary and appropriate. I also agree that smacking some does not work and alternative methods of discipline are required.

Err nope there aren't - bring your kids up well and they'll generally be OK

 

[Alex1975]

Sorry but agree the use of the word "violent" and "violence" isn't right in regards a parent giving their child a small sharp clip

If you and I work together and I walk up behind you and "smack" you across the back of the head I am pretty sure you could have me dismissed for violence! Maybe even GBH or ABH.... Its a word, you might be getting hooked up on it cos it sounds harsh...

 

[Deleted member 15344]

If you and I work together and I walk up behind you and "smack" you across the back of the head I am pretty sure you could have me dismissed for violence! Maybe even GBH or ABH.... Its a word, you might be getting hooked up on it cos it sounds harsh...

Again context - that's not the same as a clip round the ear and a smack on the wrist.

 

[Alex1975]

Again context - that's not the same as a clip round the ear and a smack on the wrist.

Nope, but the OP is about this being outlawed and as such all these words and arguments are going to come up. How hard did I slap you round the back of the head at work... Its not going to matter... I will be getting the sack.

 

[Khamelion]

This is spot on!

Smacking has one use.... it makes the smacker feel better!

What utter garbage, again someone else jumping on the violence bandwagon and not reading the thread. This thread is not to condone violence against children, it is to question one the one hand the right of a parent to smack their child legally and whether that right should be taken away and on the other it is about disciplining a child when all other avenues have failed. In writing that it is not about continual regular smacking which constitutes abuse, but the need to smack a child to reinforce a pertinent point.

In my opinion if I was smacked, someone else was going to get a smack. If I was smacked I was going to do what I did again.... In fact I was going to do whatever I wanted.

So you think that a parent gets enjoyment out of hitting their children, that is some warped logic you have there.

THINK!!!! its so simple, do not teach children to think that violence or physical contact of any sort is the way to get someone to adhere to your will. As a human you are far far far better than that. If you teach your child respect and values there will never be a time you have to use violence to make them behave.

Give your child the time your meant to....

I agree, teaching children that violence is the answer is wrong, but smacking a child to enforce a point to be made for the child's own safety is sometimes the only thing a child will learn from.

So you tell your child that the cooker is hot and do not touch, you explain why it is hot and why they should not touch it, you are a good parent, you are clear concise, detailed and have explained the consequences in a way they understand. Yet the next day you see you child reaching for the hob which is on, you tell them to stop and explain again, this process repeats, one day you might not be there to tell them to stop and the child is badly burned or worse. If after the second scolding the attempts continue a smack on the leg could (yes only could) prevent the child from reaching up, as they know that they may get smacked again and in tis instance a smack to the leg is better than a pan of boiling water.[/quote]

"I was smacked and im alright" says who? On what level... on the level that you think its ok to hit children.... BRAVE! It is the scared people who say things like "goody goodys" and the like. The scared, the unintelligent and likely the people who were smacked.

I was smacked occasionally as a child and I can think of several instances where it was warranted, their after my mam would say I'm going to count to three than then, I knew what would be coming after three as it had happened once before and the threat of being smacked was sufficient. So yes under the right circumstances a parent should have the right to smack their child, it's not brave or clever, but an act that may be necessary due to the child's actions or inaction. Nor am I scared, I've started this thread on the subject and posted several replies. In my eyes, seeing a parent telling a child to stop doing something only for the child to continue and then the parent to repeat the request only for the child to continue is pointless, what is the child learning? If I do something naughty I'll get spoken to in a calm caring voice which lets me carry on what I'm doing, genius, let the child repeatedly pull the dogs tail, let he child continually throw lego blocks at another child and see what happens.

Its ok to do things better.....

Of course it is, but sometimes the need to smack is the last resort and the only action a child will respond to.

 

[c1973]

I suppose it depends on if you class hitting a child as a way of bringing up that child. As the courts (European, English, British, Scottish of even Jedi if you want) can decide if hitting someone is lawful or not.

Jedi have a council......not a court. Just saying like. :ears:

 

[Deleted member 15344]

Nope, but the OP is about this being outlawed and as such all these words and arguments are going to come up. How hard did I slap you round the back of the head at work... Its not going to matter... I will be getting the sack.

Again it's all context and reasoning and the situation between the two people

Someone who clips their son around the ear isn't being "violent" regardless of other situations that are created

 

[hovis]

...and...?

Because some don't think that being smacked didn't affect them - how do they actually know? And what about the child who is smacked and as a result DOES get into fights?

From my personal experience the kids that are prone to violence are the kids that have parents that cant control them. They've got a mentality of "i can do what i want and nothings gonna happen "

 

[Alex1975]

Of course it is, but sometimes the need to smack is the last resort and the only action a child will respond to.

Is there? Or is this about you needing to make a point to your child that you are the big man around the house? Find a better way or risk being seen as not intelligent enough to reason and teach your child. They will not always be a child and one day they will be intelligent enough to know that you thought "the only action a child will respond to"... its on you, not your child.

 

[Rooter]

Jedi have a council......not a court. Just saying like. :ears:

best reply on this thread!

Gonna say my final piece, and while i fully respect alex and the others whom have said they never would/will etc, there is no hard and fast rules on parenting. Most people do what they think is right. I am in no way condoning violence toward kids. Anyway, the use of a smack in my eyes should be very sparse, ie in severe situations like i have outlined in previous posts and should be a slap on the wrist that shocks said child into stopping what they are doing, it should not come up bright red etc!

Parents that regularly smack their kids for the most menial of things deserve a slap back from an adult, preferably in the nose from a closed fist!

I said it earlier today, I want my kids to respect me, but moreover themselves.

I'm oot.

 

[Deleted member 15344]

best reply on this thread!

Gonna say my final piece, and while i fully respect alex and the others whom have said they never would/will etc, there is no hard and fast rules on parenting. Most people do what they think is right. I am in no way condoning violence toward kids. Anyway, the use of a smack in my eyes should be very sparse, ie in severe situations like i have outlined in previous posts and should be a slap on the wrist that shocks said child into stopping what they are doing, it should not come up bright red etc!

Parents that regularly smack their kids for the most menial of things deserve a slap back from an adult, preferably in the nose from a closed fist!

I said it earlier today, I want my kids to respect me, but moreover themselves.

I'm oot.

Summed up perfectly

 

[c1973]

https://m.youtube.com/?gl=GB#/watch?v=Rx_lTgUSyB4

A wee 'nip' seems to be the way to go.

 

[hovis]

Is there? Or is this about you needing to make a point to your child that you are the big man around the house? Find a better way or risk being seen as not intelligent enough to reason and teach your child. They will not always be a child and one day they will be intelligent enough to know that you thought "the only action a child will respond to"... its on you, not your child.

I think you have to be sick in the head to want to smack a child because it makes you feel better or prove your the man of the house. I smaked my daughter on the back of the hand last month and it broke my heart to see her upset. however, she seemed to have learned that hitting and bitting is not acceptable and hasn't done it since. So as much as it hurt me to do it i hope its made her a better person for the future .

As for alternative methods, kids are stupid . Look at the animal Kingdom . How many lions put their cubs on a naughty step?

 

[Khamelion]

As with Hovis, I got the occasional smack as a child, but I've not once raised my fists in anger, never had a fight in 46yrs on this planet.

To a degree it is all semantics regarding the words violence, violent, smacking, people will spin them to however they see necessary to make their point. The point in question is whether smacking a child should be illegal, but there is more to it than that, smacking a child to shock them out of an action may be necessary, but the action of smacking must not leave a mark on the child, if it does then it becomes a violent act.

Leaving you handprint on a child's leg is wrong, a parent that does that needs to take a look in the mirror, that is abuse.

The purpose of smacking a child is not to harm or maim, leave a mark, but to protect, to induce a shock that breaks a repeated pattern, to stop them from doing something that may harm them if they continued.

 

[Pin-seeker]

If you reguluarly feel the need to give your children a slap then something is wrong.
However in certain situations a slap does no harm.
If you believe this will make them violent you're living in cuckoo land.

 

[hovis]

As with Hovis, I got the occasional smack as a child, but I've not once raised my fists in anger, never had a fight in 46yrs on this planet.

To a degree it is all semantics regarding the words violence, violent, smacking, people will spin them to however they see necessary to make their point. The point in question is whether smacking a child should be illegal, but there is more to it than that, smacking a child to shock them out of an action may be necessary, but the action of smacking must not leave a mark on the child, if it does then it becomes a violent act.

Leaving you handprint on a child's leg is wrong, a parent that does that needs to take a look in the mirror, that is abuse.

The purpose of smacking a child is not to harm or maim, leave a mark, but to protect, to induce a shock that breaks a repeated pattern, to stop them from doing something that may harm them if they continued.

Could have written that myself

 

[Khamelion]

Is there? Or is this about you needing to make a point to your child that you are the big man around the house? Find a better way or risk being seen as not intelligent enough to reason and teach your child. They will not always be a child and one day they will be intelligent enough to know that you thought "the only action a child will respond to"... its on you, not your child.

In any household, if a parent feels the need to repeatedly smack their child to make themselves feel good, then there is something wrong with them. I agree if there are alternative ways to get the point across then they should be explored first, no parent ever should want to smack their child. Any parent who does, just for the sheer hell of it, most likely does lack the intelligence or imagination to explain what it is the child is doing wrong and why they should not do it.

But that written there are still times when a sharp smack is what is required, you can tell a child not to do something till you're blue in the face and they'll still do it, sometimes a good talking to just does not cut it. Other posters have given several examples, but either way you have your opinion and I have mine.

 

[Alex1975]

As with Hovis, I got the occasional smack as a child, but I've not once raised my fists in anger, never had a fight in 46yrs on this planet.

To a degree it is all semantics regarding the words violence, violent, smacking, people will spin them to however they see necessary to make their point. The point in question is whether smacking a child should be illegal, but there is more to it than that, smacking a child to shock them out of an action may be necessary, but the action of smacking must not leave a mark on the child, if it does then it becomes a violent act.

Leaving you handprint on a child's leg is wrong, a parent that does that needs to take a look in the mirror, that is abuse.

The purpose of smacking a child is not to harm or maim, leave a mark, but to protect, to induce a shock that breaks a repeated pattern, to stop them from doing something that may harm them if they continued.

The trouble is, your a reasonable human being and have limits. The world or even just the country has many people who are not reasonable and do not give them self a remit.

I was caned and slipper`d at school... that's violence in my opinion.

To answer your questions directly on should it be made illegal.. I really do not know. Should we protect those children who`s parents take things too far, or educate them... Its genuinely an interesting and difficult topic.

 

[c1973]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/hea...-no-harm-if-they-feel-loved-study-claims.html

 

[G.U.R]

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of how one disciplines their children, is this going to be one of those Laws impossible to police and open to allsorts of witch hunts and vendetta calls?