Smack or not?

[freddielong]

Violence is never the answer I cannot think of a situation were it would be acceptable. One thing I bet as well, the line that governs were the smack is acceptable moves depending on the mood of the parent.

 

[Fyldewhite]

I don't see the harm in the odd smack on the leg. I don't see it as a punishment.....I think that is a misconception. It should be a tool to get the child's attention to then explain why they are being told off. I don't think banning it will result in some sort of Utopian violence free society either. As others have said, there's a world of difference between this and "abuse". I think using smacking as a punishment, with the clear intention of hurting the child clearly falls into this category. Isn't yelling at children a form of abuse? Isn't grabbing a child by the shoulders to make it listen a form of abuse? All a question of degree and may be simple to legislate but difficult to enforce.

 

[guest100718]

not

 

[Rooter]

I don't see the harm in the odd smack on the leg. I don't see it as a punishment.....I think that is a misconception. It should be a tool to get the child's attention to then explain why they are being told off. I don't think banning it will result in some sort of Utopian violence free society either. As others have said, there's a world of difference between this and "abuse". I think using smacking as a punishment, with the clear intention of hurting the child clearly falls into this category. Isn't yelling at children a form of abuse? Isn't grabbing a child by the shoulders to make it listen a form of abuse? All a question of degree and may be simple to legislate but difficult to enforce.

Rooter Likes this :thup:

 

[BoadieBroadus]

before i had kids i was of the "little smack wouldn't do any harm" school. now that I have them I could never see the possibility of smacking them.

i can't ever forsee a situation where making the kids afraid of me striking them would be a positive step in my parenting approach.

 

[Alex1975]

The way i define a 'smack' on a child is not violent in my opinion, it is done as a shock tactic to break the behavior that is happening. Now other people obviously have a different concept of smacking, I again would use as a last resort to stop a situation that talking or even shouting wouldn't sort,

For example a toddler biting, it has to be pretty major in my opinion, not because they don't tidy their toys away or answer back etc. Often i find a really loud clap can work in a similar manner in creating that pause or stop of behavior.

You show that toddler that if he bites he gets a smack.... violence begets violence and the cycle begins. If I am violent with daddy he will be violent with me.... Its normal....

 

[hovis]

I always remember telling my mom to 'f' off when i was 13. She said right "I'm calling your dad"
The 4 hour wait for my dad to get home from work was like a prison sentence. I thought i was gonna get battered. When my dad got home he said "COME HERE" as i walked over i tensed up in anticipation for a whallop!!!! It never happened.

20 years later i got onto this subject with my dad and I said " why didn't you hit me"? He said. "son, i didn't need to! your face told me you had regretted your actions "

 

[Rooter]

You show that toddler that if he bites he gets a smack.... violence begets violence and the cycle begins. If I am violent with daddy he will be violent with me.... Its normal....

I disagree, he gets a tap, smack, whatever you want to call it, but i need to clarify, it is not done to inflict pain, it is there to very quickly stop what is happening.

My eldest bit my wife once, got a 'smack' and never did it again, same with my 2nd.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

]I don't see the harm in the odd smack on the leg.[/B] I don't see it as a punishment.....I think that is a misconception. It should be a tool to get the child's attention to then explain why they are being told off. I don't think banning it will result in some sort of Utopian violence free society either. As others have said, there's a world of difference between this and "abuse". I think using smacking as a punishment, with the clear intention of hurting the child clearly falls into this category. Isn't yelling at children a form of abuse? Isn't grabbing a child by the shoulders to make it listen a form of abuse? All a question of degree and may be simple to legislate but difficult to enforce.

BiB You don't - but do you know what the child really thinks about it? Well of course you don't. After a smack the child may scream at you 'I HATE you' - and I'll be guessing that most parents will dismiss such outbursts as being no more than that - an emotional outburst.

But many adults build and hold resentments that affect their life quite significantly - why then would not a child? Yes of course depriving a child of a favourite toy may generate similar outbursts but are the same sort of resentments built up as are built up through physical pain. I don't know. But why risk it.

 

[Alex1975]

I disagree, he gets a tap, smack, whatever you want to call it, but i need to clarify, it is not done to inflict pain, it is there to very quickly stop what is happening.

My eldest bit my wife once, got a 'smack' and never did it again, same with my 2nd.

Is there a way that situation could have had the same outcome without violence?

 

[Rooter]

Is there a way that situation could have had the same outcome without violence?

Sorry to be a pedant Alex, but i think you are missing something i have been quite clear on:

violence
ˈvʌɪəl(&#601ns/Submit
noun
1.
behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something


The 'smack' would be there with the intention to shock, as i have said all the way through, there is not the force or intention there to hurt, its there to shock.

Think we may have to agree to disagree!! ;-)

 

[Hacker Khan]

I'd like to see any clinical studies you can provide to prove that smacking has detrimental effects?

I don't have any 'proof' to which method is better but I do know a few simple things. I could walk home from the pub quite safely when I was younger, very much doubt that is the case now. Not very scientific but a pretty clear indication to me.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...ly-make-aggressive-trigger-bad-behaviour.html

OMG, I'm using The Daily mail as evidence to back up my point in a discussion. Oh the irony....

 

[hovis]

People who say kids will think violence is normal if you get smacked are on another planet. I was smacked and never been in a fight in my life.

A child needs to understand that there are consequences for bad behaviour. Standing on a naughty step or having a time out is a pathetic method. I've spent many hours in childs soft play area and it is easy to see what kids belong to what parents. Take control of your children and do what you need to do so they don't rob my house when they're older


Waaaaay too many do gooders about that cant control their children and hide behind stupid medical conditions

 

[hovis]

Sorry to be a pedant Alex, but i think you are missing something i have been quite clear on:

violence
ˈvʌɪəl(&#601ns/Submit
noun
1.
behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something


The 'smack' would be there with the intention to shock, as i have said all the way through, there is not the force or intention there to hurt, its there to shock.

Think we may have to agree to disagree!! ;-)

I'm with Rooter. i wouldn't call a smack on the hand violence. A punch in the face? Yes

 

[Deleted member 15344]

Sorry but agree the use of the word "violent" and "violence" isn't right in regards a parent giving their child a small sharp clip

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...ly-make-aggressive-trigger-bad-behaviour.html

OMG, I'm using The Daily mail as evidence to back up my point in a discussion. Oh the irony....

Yeah...and I'm sure I could use google to find something that says the opposite of whatever is in that link

 

[Hobbit]

More of a rhetorical musing rather than a question. Once upon a time, not that long ago, pretty much all parents smacked their children. And back then, pretty much all schools resorted to corporal punishment if a pupil transgressed. And of course, back then there were millions of children that grew up to become dysfunctional adults. Wonder what were the levels of street crime or disruptive classrooms... would also be interested to know if there were no-go areas in towns and schools as there are now. Wonder how many teachers left the profession, or were stabbed to death 50yrs ago?

Thank goodness the UK has become more enlightened. We no longer have any major crimes etc, and we no longer go to war and shoot/bomb people.

 

[Alex1975]

Sorry to be a pedant Alex, but i think you are missing something i have been quite clear on:

violence
ˈvʌɪəl(&#601ns/Submit
noun
1.
behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something

No problem buddy, this is not at you and I am aware I am being idealistic. I am using the word "violence" on purpose as everyone is not you. If these were a court of law I am sure I could get "an expert" to prove that "smacking" what ever way you slice it is an act of violence.

Again, not at you or at anyone. I think its an interesting debate and that I have a strong view on it does not automatically mean I am right... even though I am

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

People who say kids will think violence is normal if you get smacked are on another planet. I was smacked and never been in a fight in my life.

A child needs to understand that there are consequences for bad behaviour. Standing on a naughty step or having a time out is a pathetic method. I've spent many hours in childs soft play area and it is easy to see what kids belong to what parents. Take control of your children and do what you need to do so they don't rob my house when they're older


Waaaaay too many do gooders about that cant control their children and hide behind stupid medical conditions

I'm with Rooter. i wouldn't call a smack on the hand violence. A punch in the face? Yes

Good posts :thup:


Oh bugger.....I said I'd said my last word on this thread...............

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

...I was smacked and never been in a fight in my life.

...and...?

Because some don't think that being smacked didn't affect them - how do they actually know? And what about the child who is smacked and as a result DOES get into fights?