Played With Know-It-All American....Horrible.

[craigstardis1976]

Fun times last night as I ventured out for a quick nine holes. After a nice warm day, the sky was turning from blue to pink to purple and into a comforting darkness as the sun set over the snow capped Rocky Mountains on a beautiful Colorado evening.

I was paired with Andrew who told me he was an investment banker (is banker rhyming slang?) who gave me advice on every bloody shot for the entire nine holes....

Example: I would be lining up my tee shot...not a long procedure, pick an aimpoint, club behind ball, body lined up, quick waggle..."Youze needs to drah it." (my attempt at his accent)

When in a bunker and I hit (for me) an okay shot, ball out of the bunker fifteen feet away..."Youze need to learnz da sand shot."

When putting and the putt has a left to right break, I line up, couple of practice stroke, quickly settle over the ball, about to stroke it: "Goze to da rite."

My dog was with me for the walk and he even had advice on dog walking. My dog is a beagle/jack russell mix of ornery temperament (we are very close though and although he did not growl I could tell even he was getting fed up)..."Day dawg shouldn't be on da fairwayz."

He was kind enough to proffer his wisdom on my equipment: "Youz needz some ironz wit da mawden tecsnolagy"

The guy was a walking advert for Taylor Made and proceeded to tell me more than I ever needed to know about Rocketbladez Irons and something called: "Da PeeVeeExx suh point zero shafs" that apparently come with the set he paid "eight hundrud dolla fo."

He shot "firty naan." I shot 44...My best guess is he stroked the ball at least ten times more than I did.

As a parting shot he told me: "You needz a better gamez to playz ere gets some new quipmun and youze uglee"

I did not shake his hand and left with my dog wondering if it ever worth playing golf again when having to overcome such ill-informed, unintelligible babble. I will also never ever open a bank account with Bank of America.

 

[patricks148]

Fun times last night as I ventured out for a quick nine holes. After a nice warm day, the sky was turning from blue to pink to purple and into a comforting darkness as the sun set over the snow capped Rocky Mountains on a beautiful Colorado evening.

I was paired with Andrew who told me he was an investment banker (is banker rhyming slang?) who gave me advice on every bloody shot for the entire nine holes....

Example: I would be lining up my tee shot...not a long procedure, pick an aimpoint, club behind ball, body lined up, quick waggle..."Youze needs to drah it." (my attempt at his accent)

When in a bunker and I hit (for me) an okay shot, ball out of the bunker fifteen feet away..."Youze need to learnz da sand shot."

When putting and the putt has a left to right break, I line up, couple of practice stroke, quickly settle over the ball, about to stroke it: "Goze to da rite."

My dog was with me for the walk and he even had advice on dog walking. My dog is a beagle/jack russell mix of ornery temperament (we are very close though and although he did not growl I could tell even he was getting fed up)..."Day dawg shouldn't be on da fairwayz."

He was kind enough to proffer his wisdom on my equipment: "Youz needz some ironz wit da mawden tecsnolagy"

The guy was a walking advert for Taylor Made and proceeded to tell me more than I ever needed to know about Rocketbladez Irons and something called: "Da PeeVeeExx suh point zero shafs" that apparently come with the set he paid "eight hundrud dolla fo."

He shot "firty naan." I shot 44...My best guess is he stroked the ball at least ten times more than I did.

As a parting shot he told me: "You needz a better gamez to playz ere gets some new quipmun and youze uglee"

I did not shake his hand and left with my dog wondering if it ever worth playing golf again when having to overcome such ill-informed, unintelligible babble. I will also never ever open a bank account with Bank of America.

its always funny when you get guys who have no idea how to play themselves dishing out advice. One of the few occasions i have caddyed was a 2 ball of American golfers. mine was ok but the other was a real know all dished out advice on to his caddy whenever this guy too a shot he commented how he had played it and that his caddy should do the same next time he played.

Hilarious as his caddy was off at least +2 and this guy was luck if he played below 20:rofl:

 

[Break90]

Were you playing with bubba from Forrest Gump?

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

I will also never ever open a bank account with Bank of America.

Coffee over keyboard moment

 

[Spear-Chucker]

It's a wonder the chap had the time to hit the ball with all that talking..! Not sure I could have been patient enough to not say something.

I had the good fortune to play with a lovely retired banker and his wife in Florida once. They couldn't have been nicer and were complimentary to the point where I could hardly get my swollen head through the clubhouse door...

 

[craigstardis1976]

Were you playing with bubba from Forrest Gump?

Break90: I have never seen Forrest Gump owing to my health condition of going marginally insane whenever I see Tom Hanks!

BTW, I grew up in Cherry Hinton but did not play golf at the time. Dad still lives close by and the Gogs is on my next course to play list when I venture back across the pond!

It should not matter but as well as his highly enlightened level of spoken English he also had a line of witty repartee that every long drive he hit (all three of them) he pronounced to his two and four legged captive (dog and I) "Dis drahv beez like muh dik...lawng."

 

[Mastercracker]

While I feel your pain, its not just the yanks who offer unwanted advice, its seems to be a curse that afflicts many golfers. I played with plenty of people here who can't wait to give you their wisdom before or after most shots.

I play most of my short shots through the air. I've never been a fan of a chip and run and spent hours as a kid inspired by early days Mickelson (not saying I'm that good!), practicing lob shots and all shorts of open faced sand wedge shots on the practice ground, so I defy 'convention' and play that way as it works for me. Now, I played with a guy last year who had been playing a couple of years and was decent enough, he'd got down to 20 or so. He felt the need to tell me ever time I had a short short that I should "use a 9 iron, chip and run it" or variations to that effect. I ignored him, stuck with my sand or lob wedge, put most of them far closer than his chips and even stuck one in the cup on the 17th. Still, he whittered on about how I should do this that and the other. SHUT UP FOR CHRIST SAKE!

I'll dole a little bit of advice out to a couple of mates who have just started and are absolute novices yet to break 130, but if I'm playing with a competent golfer? No chance, there is nowt more annoying than free 'advice'.

 

[Mag]

Oh my... What a delightful character.

 

[Break90]

Break90: I have never seen Forrest Gump owing to my health condition of going marginally insane whenever I see Tom Hanks!

BTW, I grew up in Cherry Hinton but did not play golf at the time. Dad still lives close by and the Gogs is on my next course to play list when I venture back across the pond!

It should not matter but as well as his highly enlightened level of spoken English he also had a line of witty repartee that every long drive he hit (all three of them) he pronounced to his two and four legged captive (dog and I) "Dis drahv beez like muh dik...lawng."

LOL

Give me a shout next time you're over, happy to host you for a round at the Gogs.....

 

[craigstardis1976]

Of course for all of his advice about having to hit certain shots...he never actually hit them himself...

And of course he rode a golf cart...He also explained to me he used "Da Titelus Pro-Dee Exx" for its "perfomanse arand da greenz un sheet."

After he told me: "youze uglee" I was ready to let the dog have a go at him. The dog contented himself however with a few licks of a fine IPA from my pint glass!

 

[craigstardis1976]

LOL

Give me a shout next time you're over, happy to host you for a round at the Gogs.....

I would be honoured. Thank you!

 

[Tashyboy]

I played in Cancun (iberostar). Gorgeous course. Anyway I got stuck behind a four ball all Americans, and the way they were dressed, not regular players. They held me up on every hole until I knocked my one and only 300 yd drive straight through the middle of them. They soon let me through. I was livid.
but I played in the Algarve in April and was paired with three elderly Scottish guys and it was a delight to be with them. Two days later I played with three Germans and had a right laugh.
unfortunately sometimes it's the rough with the smooth.

 

[Bratty]

Craigstardis, sounds like you were playing with Jah Jah Binks!

 

[Hacker Khan]

Craigstardis, sounds like you were playing with Jah Jah Binks!

Sounds like he was playing with Ant or Dec to me.

 

[craigstardis1976]

Craigstardis, sounds like you were playing with Jah Jah Binks!

For someone who says he was an Investment Banker he had a very ghetto voice and mannerisms straight out of gangsta rap culture.

I have had greater intellectual discourse with my dog when he is circling around finding the ideal spot to become a crouching beagle!

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I would have just told him the shut up or you'd invest a mid iron into his left temple

 

[craigstardis1976]

I would have just told him the shut up or you'd invest a mid iron into his left temple

Didn't want blood on my clubs, especially clubs "wid-out da noo tecnalagy!"

 

[Bigfoot]

I hope you were just unlucky. I have only ever been paired with an American once and he was great company. He was a country member at the place we played and was a great help if I asked for it.

 

[SocketRocket]

Fun times last night as I ventured out for a quick nine holes. After a nice warm day, the sky was turning from blue to pink to purple and into a comforting darkness as the sun set over the snow capped Rocky Mountains on a beautiful Colorado evening.

I was paired with Andrew who told me he was an investment banker (is banker rhyming slang?) who gave me advice on every bloody shot for the entire nine holes....

Example: I would be lining up my tee shot...not a long procedure, pick an aimpoint, club behind ball, body lined up, quick waggle..."Youze needs to drah it." (my attempt at his accent)

When in a bunker and I hit (for me) an okay shot, ball out of the bunker fifteen feet away..."Youze need to learnz da sand shot."

When putting and the putt has a left to right break, I line up, couple of practice stroke, quickly settle over the ball, about to stroke it: "Goze to da rite."

My dog was with me for the walk and he even had advice on dog walking. My dog is a beagle/jack russell mix of ornery temperament (we are very close though and although he did not growl I could tell even he was getting fed up)..."Day dawg shouldn't be on da fairwayz."

He was kind enough to proffer his wisdom on my equipment: "Youz needz some ironz wit da mawden tecsnolagy"

The guy was a walking advert for Taylor Made and proceeded to tell me more than I ever needed to know about Rocketbladez Irons and something called: "Da PeeVeeExx suh point zero shafs" that apparently come with the set he paid "eight hundrud dolla fo."

He shot "firty naan." I shot 44...My best guess is he stroked the ball at least ten times more than I did.

As a parting shot he told me: "You needz a better gamez to playz ere gets some new quipmun and youze uglee"

I did not shake his hand and left with my dog wondering if it ever worth playing golf again when having to overcome such ill-informed, unintelligible babble. I will also never ever open a bank account with Bank of America.

Sounds like he came from Dudley to me ?

 

[shortstuff]

In defence of our American cousins, most are not like that guy. In fact outside of NY and LA, your average American is far more reserved than you would think; especially in the golfing community.