Mental Approach to negativity

[njt1986]

Kinda yeah and no for me. I think most of us would like to be totally relaxed and remain so when we make mistakes but that’s not real life

Sure it’s just a hobby & it’s not our job but your other hobbyists will get frustrated too;
someone who plays a musical instrument might get frustrated when they hit a d flat in practice but can’t do it when playing in front of their mates
someone who tinkers on a car might get frustrated when they forget to insert a washer back into an assembly when they know full well that the washer needs to go in
a painter might get frustrated when they mix the wrong colours together

When a golfer hits a bad shot it’s a mistake, just like the examples in other hobbies, that fact that our hobby is golf makes no difference. Make a mistake often enough in any hobby and many people will get frustrated

It just depends on you as a person really. I don't take it seriously, I don't take playing my guitar seriously either, it's just something to have fun with in my spare time. I enjoy cooking, but I make mistakes and burn things and mess up measurements constantly! I've lost count of the amount of times i've nearly given myself an impromptu colonic irrigation when i've misread the amount of Teaspoons of chilli needed in a dish as Tablespoons! But it's just something fun to do and to learn. And this is the key word that I see a lot of people missing - FUN. If your sole notion of what is fun is something being completely perfect, or only winning is fun, then that's fine, that's your own interpretation of fun, but it isn't mine. I would argue that I've had more fun and had more great experiences in my life so far from the mistakes i've made than the things i've done right.

 

[Slab]

It just depends on you as a person really. I don't take it seriously, I don't take playing my guitar seriously either, it's just something to have fun with in my spare time. I enjoy cooking, but I make mistakes and burn things and mess up measurements constantly! I've lost count of the amount of times i've nearly given myself an impromptu colonic irrigation when i've misread the amount of Teaspoons of chilli needed in a dish as Tablespoons! But it's just something fun to do and to learn. And this is the key word that I see a lot of people missing - FUN. If your sole notion of what is fun is something being completely perfect, or only winning is fun, then that's fine, that's your own interpretation of fun, but it isn't mine. I would argue that I've had more fun and had more great experiences in my life so far from the mistakes i've made than the things i've done right.

As you say it depends on the mental fortitude/attitude, but I think carrying out your hobby ‘mistake free’ (regardless of a win) would generally be more fun than doing it but making mistakes (particularly if it’s a mistake you’ve made before) It might be a ‘bit of a laugh’ if you mix up salt and sugar the first time, but it’ll wear thin pretty dam quick if you keep bringing me doughnuts

I can’t play any instrument but is it not more fun to play a tune without a bum note (I know which I’d prefer to listen to) We’re not talking win or bust here, the fun element doesn’t necessarily have to be intrinsic to winning, just basic fun and enjoyment

So while playing with a mistake or two should still be fun, is there not more fun to be had by not topping a brand new £3 ball into the pond off the 1st tee? (even if you had no chance of longest drive anyway)

 

[mister v]

I've played with and also been the person who's had a pissy fit for playing badly. Im not proud of it and i really try to make a joke out of my bad shots rather than have a head fit.....
This week i played with a 4hcp who couldnt keep the ball in play and he's a really calm guy but even he helicoptered a club after 5 holes...........
Its a tough game .......... and heaaring nevermind it could be worse doesnt help!!!!!!

 

[Jigger]

Kinda yeah and no for me. I think most of us would like to be totally relaxed and remain so when we make mistakes but that’s not real life

Sure it’s just a hobby & it’s not our job but your other hobbyists will get frustrated too;
someone who plays a musical instrument might get frustrated when they hit a d flat in practice but can’t do it when playing in front of their mates
someone who tinkers on a car might get frustrated when they forget to insert a washer back into an assembly when they know full well that the washer needs to go in
a painter might get frustrated when they mix the wrong colours together

When a golfer hits a bad shot it’s a mistake, just like the examples in other hobbies, that fact that our hobby is golf makes no difference. Make a mistake often enough in any hobby and many people will get frustrated

Very good analogy that. As someone who has had lots of lessons it’s difficult not to get mechanical after several bad shots.

 

[njt1986]

As you say it depends on the mental fortitude/attitude, but I think carrying out your hobby ‘mistake free’ (regardless of a win) would generally be more fun than doing it but making mistakes (particularly if it’s a mistake you’ve made before) It might be a ‘bit of a laugh’ if you mix up salt and sugar the first time, but it’ll wear thin pretty dam quick if you keep bringing me doughnuts

I can’t play any instrument but is it not more fun to play a tune without a bum note (I know which I’d prefer to listen to) We’re not talking win or bust here, the fun element doesn’t necessarily have to be intrinsic to winning, just basic fun and enjoyment

So while playing with a mistake or two should still be fun, is there not more fun to be had by not topping a brand new £3 ball into the pond off the 1st tee? (even if you had no chance of longest drive anyway)

Maybe it’s just me, it’s been my mentality to hobbies for years. They aren’t something that affect me or my life in any way. Like, it doesn’t effect my friendships, relationships, family or work if I play well or play badly, so why get worked up about it?

Don’t get me wrong, I used to be “that guy” who took hobbies super serious and would get so frustrated at tiny mistakes, but as I’ve got older I’ve just realised what I said above - it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

My background is military, both family and career until a few years ago, and I took stock of the way people handled things who I knew and what was/wasn’t worth getting worked up about - a 3 putt doesn’t kill anyone, a bum note on a guitar doesn’t lose someone a limb, you know? So why get worked up about it? It’s mildly irritating, of course it is, but it’s not life and death.

Unless you hook/slice one massively, then you might be putting someone in danger I suppose

 

[Hobbit]

"Golf isn't a Game of Perfect," by Dr Bob Rotella. Decent read.

 

[Norrin Radd]

The last couple of medal draws I’ve been drawn with a couple of players having a bad game and spitting their dummies out. My subconscious has let itself be drawn into their world and a reasonably maintained start has turned into a disaster.

Anybody of a similar week mind found a way of overcoming this and focusing on their own game? I know these guys and we get on but the problem I have is that I’m quite a social

character so I become aware very quickly of someone else’s attitude.

UI

The last couple of medal draws I’ve been drawn with a couple of players having a bad game and spitting their dummies out. My subconscious has let itself be drawn into their world and a reasonably maintained start has turned into a disaster.

Anybody of a similar week mind found a way of overcoming this and focusing on their own game? I know these guys and we get on but the problem I have is that I’m quite a social
character so I become aware very quickly of someone else’s attitude.

Easy to stop the problem ,just say to them that you come out to play golf and you play for the enjoyment of the game ,and if you two Pollock's don't stop acting like prima Donna's and think the world will end with your childish antics then you can walk off the course and let me carry on to enjoy my game ,because as it stands you are pi££ing me off and I don't come out to be pi££ed off by a couple of big girls blouses.
Believe me it will and has worked .yes it might go a bit quiet for a couple of holes but they will get the message and one way or another will either walk in or stop bitching and knuckle down and play golf.