Matchplay strategies

As we all know matchplay is the purist form of of golf. I was wondering what strategies everyone uses to win. Here are a few of mine which i have found to be succesfull.

I never wash for at least 72 hours before playing any matchplay competition, offensive body odour is very intimidating.

I try to step on my opponents putting line on accident. On every hole.

I stand so that the head of my shadow is directly over the hole and then sway back and forth while humming softy. While my opponent putts.

I make my opponent putt out from 2 inches away and right as he's about to make contact with the ball I scream "MISS IT!!!!". If he complains I explain that he's being a baby and that there's no way he could have missed that putt.

I wait for him to be further out and while he stands there waiting to hit I fire one right at him, hitting him in the small of the back, and then yell "shank!!!!"

On our way down the fairway I talk to him about swinging couples and ask if he and his wife/girlfriend are into it. If he says yes I tell him I'm not married but I'd like to bang his wife.

If my opponent hits a good shot and I can tell he's proud of it I'll get right up in his face and say things like" OH, YOU THINK YOU"RE THE DOGS NOW?!?!?".

Double their score on every hole. "Are you sure you got a 7 and not a snowman 8?" Have them count off the shots.

Pretty much I'm a complete a-hole the entire time.

Alls fair in love and golf, right?

Edgey
Click to expand...

Thats all fare enough,if you want to go through life with no frieds and being considered a bit of an ass.
 
If you have attempted to arrange the game before the cutoff date, and the opponent cannot play, you are entitled to claim the match.

I am in the Semi of one of our Club knockouts, having got thru the 1st 2 rounds without even playing, 2 matches didnt complete before due dates so Pro simply disqualified them, simple as.

Check with your Club.
 
As we all know matchplay is the purist form of of golf. I was wondering what strategies everyone uses to win. Here are a few of mine which i have found to be succesfull.

I never wash for at least 72 hours before playing any matchplay competition, offensive body odour is very intimidating.

I try to step on my opponents putting line on accident. On every hole.

I stand so that the head of my shadow is directly over the hole and then sway back and forth while humming softy. While my opponent putts.

I make my opponent putt out from 2 inches away and right as he's about to make contact with the ball I scream "MISS IT!!!!". If he complains I explain that he's being a baby and that there's no way he could have missed that putt.

I wait for him to be further out and while he stands there waiting to hit I fire one right at him, hitting him in the small of the back, and then yell "shank!!!!"

On our way down the fairway I talk to him about swinging couples and ask if he and his wife/girlfriend are into it. If he says yes I tell him I'm not married but I'd like to bang his wife.

If my opponent hits a good shot and I can tell he's proud of it I'll get right up in his face and say things like" OH, YOU THINK YOU"RE THE DOGS NOW?!?!?".

Double their score on every hole. "Are you sure you got a 7 and not a snowman 8?" Have them count off the shots.

Pretty much I'm a complete a-hole the entire time.

Alls fair in love and golf, right?

Edgey
Click to expand...

Your humour appears to have gone waaaaay over some heads. FWIW I thought it was funny :D :D

Simply screaming during the backswing would work, followed by "Sorry, I thought I just got stung!" :p
 
As we all know matchplay is the purist form of of golf. I was wondering what strategies everyone uses to win. Here are a few of mine which i have found to be succesfull.

I never wash for at least 72 hours before playing any matchplay competition, offensive body odour is very intimidating.

I try to step on my opponents putting line on accident. On every hole.

I stand so that the head of my shadow is directly over the hole and then sway back and forth while humming softy. While my opponent putts.

I make my opponent putt out from 2 inches away and right as he's about to make contact with the ball I scream "MISS IT!!!!". If he complains I explain that he's being a baby and that there's no way he could have missed that putt.

I wait for him to be further out and while he stands there waiting to hit I fire one right at him, hitting him in the small of the back, and then yell "shank!!!!"

On our way down the fairway I talk to him about swinging couples and ask if he and his wife/girlfriend are into it. If he says yes I tell him I'm not married but I'd like to bang his wife.

If my opponent hits a good shot and I can tell he's proud of it I'll get right up in his face and say things like" OH, YOU THINK YOU"RE THE DOGS NOW?!?!?".

Double their score on every hole. "Are you sure you got a 7 and not a snowman 8?" Have them count off the shots.

Pretty much I'm a complete a-hole the entire time.

Alls fair in love and golf, right?

Edgey
Click to expand...

Your humour appears to have gone waaaaay over some heads. FWIW I thought it was funny :D :D

Simply screaming during the backswing would work, followed by "Sorry, I thought I just got stung!" :p
Click to expand...

I have tried your tactic and it is effective.

I tried a new one today that really worked. I got chatting and dropped into the conversation i was Gay. I then spent the next 7 holes asking him if he worked out and whether he enjoyed watching Spartacus.

Whipped him 5 and 4. Who needs friends when their are pro shop vouchers up for grabs

Edgey
 
"I tried a new one today that really worked. I got chatting and dropped into the conversation i was Gay. I then spent the next 7 holes asking him if he worked out and whether he enjoyed watching Spartacus."

LMAO :D
 
No - he's been out for years. I knew him from outside of golf in a work related capacity in one of my old jobs. He is probably the least gay looking guy you can imagine but is big, muscular and I've seen him more than deal with anyone taking the pee for his lifestyle choice.
 
"I actually played with a gay golfer in a medal a few weeks back"

Too much info Homer........altho I admire your honesty
Hope you found somewhere discreet on the course.

:D
 
Playing with a gay golfer, thats a brilliant matchplay strategy Homer.

There are no lengths you will not go to in order to get those vouchers.

I lay prostrate at the feet of a golfing genius

Edgey
 
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